We sat on the couch just looking at each other.
The house was quiet and I was lost in the moment like I am so often with him. Sometimes words are not enough and words don't need to be said.
Internally, I was having a girl-moment. Once in a blue moon unfamiliar emotions trickle in my mind that threaten my sure confidence I have in us. I thinks it's totally normal. Health to a point, but aggravating because it throws everything I already know a bit off balance.
Today I couldn't want him more.
If the world would slip away and if time would just slow down, I would be eternally grateful.
I am really looking at him. Lost in my own thoughts looking at this absolutely perfect man in my life when he sincerely says softly, "You are really gorgeous."
Sometimes I just blink.
My unsettled emotions dissolve and my heart sighs.
He acts shocked at my "thank you for saying that" and defends that he always tells me I'm beautiful. He does, but I need to put my finger occasionally on the pulse of our relationship to check its beat.
He reminds me that he thinks I am as beautiful as I was 20 years ago. I smile and my heart is so happy he believes so. We took our walk down memory lane ... our relationship piqued that night on the dance floor 20 years ago and I said I wish we would have left that night together.
It would have altered our future.
He said if we would have left together, we would still be together.
After he left I entertained how my own life would have been so different and honestly, it felt as if I was hit in the stomach, I wanted to cry. The unfairness of it all.
We would have made it.
Though we were young, I would have still been me and not given up on us back then until there was nothing left. Him being who he was then and is today, we would have been fine. No, amazing.
I confess I questioned if there was a mistake in the universe, but I am an everything happens on purpose girl, and I have to accept that.
My whole life I have embraced and enjoyed my most colorful life being an amazing rainbow of every shade and color under the sky, glistening and vibrant.
Today is the first time in my life where I wish I knew what my life would have been like different.
I am thankful for now and I am thankful for tomorrow.
I am thankful for everything I have learned in life so far to perfect our tomorrows.
We are off on an awesome start!
