Sunday, December 30, 2012

Farewell 2012

How do you not reflect over the past year as a new year approaches.

Do you assess one way or another it was a good year or a bad year? A conversation I had with a good friend as she counted the bad things that happened to her. I was ready with some strong points of the especially good things that happened to her as a reminder.

This year, 2012, was a very good year and a year like no other! I celebrated summer like a rock star, enjoyed 10 months off of work being at home with my girls, my personal life was surrounded by the ones that mean the most to me, my girls are both becoming more independent every year and I am enjoying a new found sense of freedom.

Starting off the new year in a new career I am excited about has my mind back in the game of life.

Challenged. Stimulated. Career girl.

I am refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for 2013.

The new year will bring a monster of its own with Mariah's dad and as we pull out of that storm in life, my Mariah will soon be 18 years old, a Senior in high school next August and a college/university will be chosen. These are the only things I can anticipate as I wonder what the new year will bring. Everything else will be life surprises that become part of the journey in our life.

For me, I want to travel. My Brooke wants to swim with the dolphins and I am ready for a white sand beach vacation. I also want to go on a spa resort vacation while enjoying outdoor excursions out west in breathtakingly beautiful Sedona, Arizona. I am not putting off a dream destination vacation any longer for myself, I'm just going to do it.

I've learned to become unstuck.

New Years Day 2013, I'm ready.







Saturday, December 29, 2012

A Mommy-Daughter Day

December 26th brought the most beautiful *winter wonderland* snow storm!

It feels like Christmas and I am not at all ready to take down our decor, I want Christmas to last just a little bit longer.

The snow storm had us trapped inside, which I secretly love. Plenty of food, a fire in the fireplace, no place to go, but to look at the picture perfect scene outside the windows of my home.

As if after a busy holiday season God said to relax, slow down, and enjoy it. I did.

I was good for one day. Thursday I went into the office to work a few hours when Mariah text me from her dad's house that she is going stir-crazy could we have a mommy-daughter day?

I smiled at her text and I am so happy both my girls love their special mommy-daughter days with me. I text her back, "Sorry, I am working, but Brookie is home if you want to go home and spend time with her."

Do I feel guilty I am working?  No. For 10 months I was there for their every beckon call.

Mommy-daughter day usually costs me. It's a movie, shopping, and always includes going out to eat somewhere. I have taken my girls on dates since they were tiny.

Mariah went home for a few hours and spent time with Brooke and they watched the movie Pitch Perfect together. I'm glad they both (Brooke) stopped what they were doing and did something together for a few hours, without me.



Friday, December 28, 2012

The Sweetest Phone Call

I received the sweetest phone call tonight from a friend I had a falling out with months ago.

We had a couple major differences of opinion on important topics and I pretty much said, "We have nothing in common, stop calling me."

Tonight his picture popped up on my cell phone when he called and I decided to let bygones be bygones and answered nicely.

I asked how his Christmas was when he said, "Please just let me say this ... (I think he thought I was going to shut him down, again) ... we have been friends for a lot of years and you know how important you are to me. I'm sorry if I said something to offend you (he knew that I knew he was referring to a Facebook post), Dawn, I would never do anything to offend you and I will be more careful in the future, but I don't want to start off the new year without things being right between us, you mean too much to me."

I smiled listening to him.

Our friendship goes back 11 years. I was 31 years old, he was 20. I am now 42 years old and he is 30. I still shake my head at this boys adoration of me.

I told him I'm glad he called, agreed we are still friends, and a fresh start is fine.

"Can we get together for a drink or coffee sooner rather than later? At least within the week?"

Such a sweet boy.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

My Faithful God

Ten months ago when I walked away from corporate America as a single parent, it was a leap of faith beyond what words can express.

It was leaving financial comfort, while knowing my season there had ended, I embraced the unknown.

My dream situation was having the summer off, then look for a job when my girls started back to school in September. That was my limited perspective. God's is so much greater than mine!

What I received was a summer like I have never experienced in my life and time at home with my girls who needed me here during this time in their lives. It was showered in blessings.

School started back and guiltily I confess I still wasn't ready to go back to work, I just got the days back to myself! Then October came. I love October. I love autumn. I love the sunshine and cooler temperatures. I love Sweetest Day.

In "my" ideal ideal situation, I would be ready to go back to work in November. If I had, I would have missed out on Brooke's dream birthday surprise. I got that, too.

I'm refreshed and more than ready for what comes next. I am a career girl.

What is it I want to do?  I had a very honest conversation with God to open the right opportunity and give me the peace of mind that I knew exactly what job to say "Yes" to.  I'm asking God for supernatural opportunities and blessings.

I had two similar scenarios once upon a time:

     *One day (13 years ago) I updated my resume to see what job opportunities were available in hospitals local to where I moved to so I wouldn't have to commute so far and was interviewed and hired within 24 hours. It was a whirlwind and I wasn't ready for such a quick decision that became the best move for me.

     *After renting for years, my dad asked if I was interested in buying a house? I wasn't really, but agreed to look at a house in our community that he said would be perfect. An offer was made, my mortgage was only $15 more than I paid rent and I was moved in at record speed. We love our home still today. Another whirlwind I hadn't sought out.

I like whirlwinds of blessings. It feels as if it is destined and I am simply being carried through the decision.

Here I am now. "God, please do that magical thing you do where opportunities open and I know they are blessed by you."

In October one of my best girlfriends called and asked if I was ready to go back to work. "YES!" She has worked for an amazing company and couldn't be happier. Her company has a newly created position open that all my job experience has me perfect for. The executives are excited to meet me.

I interviewed with the President & CEO, the VP, and my girlfriend present. The interview went exceptionally well, she said I "rocked it and they love me!" I'm excited about the company, I'm excited to work with my girlfriend again, and love that the company office is NYC chic!

I'm a career girl. My time at home was priceless with my girls and I went through an amazing season in my life I needed. Faith took me there, gave me more than what I hoped for, and brought me out in a much better place.

My faithful God took my leap of faith and blessed it beyond measure.




Wednesday, December 26, 2012

December is Christmas

Christmas day was everything I wanted it to be. Both of my girls were happy, excited, and both said it was their best Christmas ever!

How blessed I am.

How blessed I am to have two teenage daughters when asked what they wanted for Christmas, neither could think of an item they would like to have. Brooke said she didn't want anything, that she already has everything she wants.

Lucky for them, I am creative and I know each daughter so well, that I was able to pull off gifts they were thrilled with. You see, they get three gifts each (just like Jesus) from me, and stocking stuffers.

The whole month of December was Christmas in our home. Decorations were hung by the chimney with care as well as holiday music filled the air.

It wasn't all Currier & Ives though.

Our furnace was out for two weeks.

Mariah was in her 2nd accident in my car.

December 19th was the second anniversary of Brooke's dads suicide. Last year we were just happy to have made it through the year, but this year was different. It was extra hard for Brooke.

Depression set in. Chest pain and physical heart ache called for a doctors appointment. Counseling sessions helped.

Mariah's dad has gotten significantly worse with his ALS (Lou Gehrigs).

After weeks of Brooke's depression our night reached its emotional crescendo on December 18th the night before the dreaded anniversary. Brooke's emotions where running high and I was running on mental exhaustion worrying about her. I had to drive out of town to pick up a Christmas gift Mariah's dad wanted for her for Christmas.

I'm swiping my credit card paying for her last Christmas gift from her daddy, Brooke is at home a mess, when the poor guy across the counter at Verizon nervously started talking fast to be done with my purchase, tears were rolling down my face, and he didn't know what to say. It was the reality of it all.

Brooke cries and yells I don't know how she feels and at my wits end I yell back, "No, I don't know how you feel, but I loved your dad very much, we were good friends, and I miss him. My heart hurts for you because your heart hurts so much and I cannot take that pain away from you."

It wasn't one of our finer moments.

In the midst of a magical holiday season we have had our share of intense moments to overcome and we did.

Christmas eve the snow began to fall and it looked like a winter wonderland. Thank you, God.

Brooke woke up happy and enjoyed Christmas completely. Thank you, God.

Mariah enjoyed a wonderful and emotional last Christmas with her daddy and said it was the best Christmas ever! Thank you, God.

I'm back to work and working at the very company I wanted to work at the most. It is going far better than I ever imagined. Thank you, God.

The whole month of December was Christmas in our home. I clung to the the very reason for Christmas, Christ's birth. I reinforced it in our family Christmas traditions as well as our our new tradition, the sparkle box.

Life happens and we all have seasons where it is harder than others, but it turned out to be a magical Christmas filled with love, happiness, family, friends, and laughter.

Success.







Monday, December 3, 2012

Prayers of Safety Over My Home

Saturday night Brooke, my dad and I went to Dickens Victorian Village for a walk back in time through Olde England with 88 scenes, over 180 lifelike figures representing Victorian society.

I'm glad my dad, Papa, went with us.

Here is my dad and Brooke in front of a building that was a light show to Christmas music ...


On the way home, he shared story after story of his life when he was in the Navy. He shared stories where miraculously he lived when he shouldn't have on a few occasions in life. His stories were fascinating and I enjoyed hearing them.

It got me thinking ... have I ever been close to death and not realized it?

Fast forward to today.

My furnace went out last week and I am heating my home with a space heater. Believe me when I say prayers are going up for not needing to replace the furnace. The timing right now is really bad for it to act up, but I know everything happens for a purpose, and I am thankful I could handle it financially if it did.

A repair man came today and was less than pleased to see the vent from the furnace in the dirt, plugged with mud inside of it. He says, "this is what causes carbon monoxide poisoning."  The vent will be altered tomorrow.

Then, the repair man pulls a thing out of the furnace, looked at me and said to my dad and I, "God is watching out for you."  The piece was so corroded could have caused a gas explosion.

My dad and I were stunned and I told my dad that I always say prayers of safety over my home. 

I have always said prayers of safety over my girls and I do over our home.

Only $50 later, my furnace is running strong and safety measures put into place. That was a close call with all the things that could have gone wrong and a close call financially.

I wonder how many safety situations have been held off because of prayer.

I wonder that I wondered this only a few days ago if was this my "Yes."






A Christmas Cottage

In the midst of the Christmas season, my girls and I love our home transformed into the warmth of a Christmas cottage ...


A fire in the fireplace, our Christmas tree glowing in decor that matches our home. Everything in chocolate, deep reds, and ivory.

The same decorations year after year. Sometimes I think I should just update everything, but everything matches our home and makes Christmas familiar. Someday I'm hoping my girls will have memories of each piece carefully chosen and have fond memories of how pretty and comfy our home is.

All those miscellaneous tree ornaments that don't match ... well, they go on the "banister of misfit ornaments." Remember the Christmas cartoon with the island of misfit toys? That is our banister.

Wrapped in garland, covered in miscellaneous ornaments collected through the years and where our candy canes are hung. We love it!

I would like to thank the Lifetime channel for hosting one Christmas movie after another all evening, every evening. It is the perfect touch to our entire month of Christmas.

A Sponsored Child

My girls and I have sponsored a little boy in India, Akhil, for over eight years now.  Through the years Brooke has said we should sponsor a 2nd child.

Yesterday, Brooke became a sponsor for a child through Compassion International with her own money.

Priyanka is an 8 year old little girl from India.

Brooke's sponsorship will provide education, healthcare, vaccinations, nutritional supplements, relief work opportunities, Bible studies, games, and sports for Priyanka as well as child development training for her parents.

As a mom, I did explain that sponsorship is a big responsibility; however, Brooke understands how this works and with a compassionate & generous heart, excitedly picked Priyanka out herself.

Welcome to our extended family, Priyanka!