Tuesday, June 28, 2016

What I Think You Like About Me ...


In the midst of not being each others favorite person, worn out from battle, and with a final breath where you are just tired of fighting each other, there are two choices: throw that last dagger and finish it off or flip the topic completely.

A few times when we had been in our respective corners of the boxing ring, he'd send a random text, "Want to get sushi?" and it becomes a choice to put down the arsenal.


[BTW, this photo is hysterical!]

After a crappy weekend, we sat on the patio swing on a warm summer night and he asked, then we played ...

     What do you like about me ...

         What I think you like about me (which is very interesting from the others perspective) ...

               What is important to me ...

                     What is important to me by the day of the week ...

                          What I love about us.

Surface stuff was quickly called out, go deeper. Each question had to have a laundry list of answers from me about him and he about me. 

It became a game of perspective. To cut out the laser-like focus on blame and shift into a different realm all together on the important stuff. 

And we focus on all the tiny details that created the life we have and how well-known we truly are by the other. 

The next morning I text him, "... and I love that we knew each other as kids." His reply, "And I love that even since I was 15 I'm still attracted to you every day."

It is really hard to battle in the And I Love ... game.











Thursday, June 16, 2016

Stackable Diamond Rings

I wanted a ring, so I bought it. Well, selected exactly what I wanted and heard zero percent financing.

Beautiful stackable diamonds. Feminine. Classic. Chic.

I love them and confess I look at them, my unique combination, often.

David handed me a yellow, folded piece of paper ...






Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Alpha Female

I know I am an alpha female. I always have been and years, life and experience has well-honed this trait. The article below caught my attention. Some things are hard to explain ... 
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Alpha Females are often terribly misunderstood by Beta women and lesser males. The reality is, they will not be confined by “appropriateness,” and choose to be defined by their courage, bravery, and their decisions to go after the life they want. 

Here are 7 common misconceptions about an alpha female that are actually pretty [exhaustingly] annoying:

1. They're sarcastic because they’re mean. 
Alphas are sarcastic with their friends because they’re playful and want to bond, not because they’re mean. Their sarcasm is humorous, not rude, by nature. They like to play around not because they dislike people, but because they want to eliminate barriers between people. They would never laugh at you if they didn’t think you could laugh at them too. [This I disagree with completely. Never am I sarcastic with my female friends; rather, warm, supportive, candid, honest, encouraging and transparent. There is no competition in friendship. Truly confident women do not compete, those who compete are insecure.

2. Alphas are bitches.
People often confuse having a backbone for being a bitch. It’s very easy to get along with someone who is more submissive, a "go with the flow” attitude, someone who doesn’t open their mouth when they don’t like something.

But an alpha female will risk tension because she will not put her needs aside to keep the peace at any cost. If she feels disrespected, she will call that person out. When this happens, it’s easy to call her a “bitch” because she’s not easy and she’ll call you out on your crap, but the reality is she just has balls, respect for herself and her boundaries.

3. They're blunt because they like drama.
No, they're actually blunt because they want to avoid drama. [Absolutely! Afraid of drama, no way. If I fight for anything, I fight for love, life and happiness.] Think about all those times that someone held in their feelings and then an issue built up and exploded. One thing to take off your list of worries is having that happen around an alpha female.

Alpha females do not like to argue, their approach to conflicts is more direct so it may appear like they do, but don’t be fooled - an alpha wants to listen and talk things out in a meaningful and real way so that fights are avoided, not started.

4. Alphas are high-maintenance.
Alphas are not high-maintenance, they just know their worth. Girls who think of themselves as "chill" or "low maintenance" often misconceive themselves as such, and end up being doormats instead of girlfriends.

The other facets of their personality and what makes them unique gets suffocated under his needs. An alpha will instead focus on her own integrity and worth. That’s scary for a lot of lesser males because they know that she isn’t obsessed about keeping him if that means she has to sacrifice any of her own needs.

5. Alphas are insensitive.
Being all gooey is extremely difficult for an Alpha. She’s had to go through a lot of people’s bullshit, so her hard exterior is just her reaction to the world’s crap.

It’s often the people that are tough and don’t show their emotions easily on the outside are the ones who are the most sensitive inside. An alpha is actually overly sensitive and affectionate underneath all that sass.

6. Alphas want everyone to agree with everything that they say and any opinion that they have.
That’s probably the biggest misconception of all. The thing about an alpha female is they like to challenge, and they often call people out on their bullshit - which makes people get really defensive.

Alphas like to speak to people bluntly and to their face - not because they disregard any opinions other than their own or try to convince everyone of theirs, but because they like to challenge. But often, just because someone needs to hear it, doesn’t mean it’s always what they want to hear and alphas end up being labeled as “controlling.” 

7. Alphas are controlling.
If there is a problem, she likes to solve it. An alpha is a hard worker and is passionate about her ideas. This is often misunderstood by lesser males and females as wanting dominance or control - but that is further from the truth.

She is often the leader in a group because she voices her opinions and ideas and can make fast decisions. She is extremely independent and sometimes she speaks like she know it all because she does. Just kidding. Kinda. She is just sure of herself and that comes through in her voice - but it’s not arrogance that you’re hearing, it’s passion, confidence and experience. 

And her ultimate goal? To makes things better.