Every. Single. Day. I discover new qualities and fall more deeply in love.
This clean cut all-American pretty boy with boyish charms and an always ornery glint in his eyes. It's what caught my eye twenty years ago and it's what makes me breathless today.
Perceptive, intuitive, intelligent, motivated, well-spoken, successful, an amazing dad, an excellent provider, fun, funny, sexy, edgy, stimulating, and a Christian. I think he looks like a Calvin Klein model and I can go on forever ... really.
I heard him sing today, another new 1st. He was connecting my iPhone to the Bluetooth in my car when he went from rock music to country, he fits well in both worlds. He strives in life to be the best he can be in everything. There are so many layers of depth to him, I am smitten and in awe of him.
He's 40. I say he looks 30, he says he feels 20.
Boyish charms on an incredibly well put together man is one heck of a package.
Every day I can't believe he is in my life.
Every day I can't believe our relationship grows deeper and stronger.
Every. Single. Day. I fall in love over and over and over.
I need to tell him.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
I Found My Significance
Six months ago I went on a dating sabbatical for many reasons:
In my search and quest for significance in life, my steadfast focus and efforts lead me to the book and program my church offers, From Success to Significance. I wrote about this a while back ago.
Each of us has our own unique idea of what significance is. My thoughts were of a career direction, but what I received was my real hearts desire of significance, I was given the very gift of what has always has been the most important to me.
I fell in love.
My significance when I was young was love. Dreams and details are often forgotten and I relied on God to remember what those forgotten details were.
Resurrected and placed in my life ... in my quest From Success to Significance, I found my significance.
I found my hearts desire.
- I wanted my next relationship to be significant
- I wanted to take time to reflect and focus on many things
- I needed to sit still
- I needed time with God
- I needed to be 110% at home for my girls
- I desired change
- I searched for change
- I prepared for what came next
In my search and quest for significance in life, my steadfast focus and efforts lead me to the book and program my church offers, From Success to Significance. I wrote about this a while back ago.
Each of us has our own unique idea of what significance is. My thoughts were of a career direction, but what I received was my real hearts desire of significance, I was given the very gift of what has always has been the most important to me.
I fell in love.
My significance when I was young was love. Dreams and details are often forgotten and I relied on God to remember what those forgotten details were.
Resurrected and placed in my life ... in my quest From Success to Significance, I found my significance.
I found my hearts desire.
A Planned Goodbye
It was a beautiful sunny evening and the four of us sat on the patio to have a needed conversation.
Initially it was a bit awkward, everyone knowing why we were together. I look at Eric and we both begin to cry.
I began ... I shared with Eric how proud I am of him fighting ALS like a champion for our daughter. He and Kirsten protected her from the worst of it and allowed her to maintain a normal lifestyle. I shared that we were young when we were married, kids having a baby, that I am sorry for any pain I brought him, and thanked him for being such a good dad to our Mariah, always active and involved in her life. I thanked Kirsten for protecting Mariah from ALS and allowing her to be a normal 17year old as much as possible. The burden is great on Kirsten and I appreciate her.
Mariah had tears streaming down her cheeks and I turned to her, now its her turn.
She shared first that she is saved for her daddy's peace of mind. She shared how much she loves him, that she knows he is suffering and doesn't have to fight this battle any longer for her sake. That she will miss him so much, but she will she him again.
Kirsten translated broken messages from Eric. His thoughts and wishes on his upcoming passing, that God has been so good to him, and to never be angry at God for any this.
We did have some laughs when Eric would try to get a word out and all of us would shout out what word we thought he was saying as if in Charades. He would smile and shake his head no and try up to 5 to 6 times to say half a word before we could guess.
He said he had so much to say, but he can't get it out. I tell him to just spit the words out or this is going to take forever. Only he and I laugh ... that is just our relationship.
In the midst of a tragic disease there have been so many blessings. Forgiveness happens. Old friendships restore. The ALS office loans necessary equipment to make life as comfortable as possible.
Eric worries about Brooke and says he prays for her every day.
The evening was unrushed. Words that needed said were spoken. Tears happened. Laughs happened.
A bridge was built for my daughter and her daddy who could not say goodbye on their own to each other.
I kept looking into the sky thanking God for a perfect evening under all circumstances.
Sunshine, comfortable temperatures, for time, and the opportunity to sit together as a blended family saying words that needed to be said with plenty of time to laugh and talk afterwards.
Closure is a gift of its own.
Initially it was a bit awkward, everyone knowing why we were together. I look at Eric and we both begin to cry.
I began ... I shared with Eric how proud I am of him fighting ALS like a champion for our daughter. He and Kirsten protected her from the worst of it and allowed her to maintain a normal lifestyle. I shared that we were young when we were married, kids having a baby, that I am sorry for any pain I brought him, and thanked him for being such a good dad to our Mariah, always active and involved in her life. I thanked Kirsten for protecting Mariah from ALS and allowing her to be a normal 17year old as much as possible. The burden is great on Kirsten and I appreciate her.
Mariah had tears streaming down her cheeks and I turned to her, now its her turn.
She shared first that she is saved for her daddy's peace of mind. She shared how much she loves him, that she knows he is suffering and doesn't have to fight this battle any longer for her sake. That she will miss him so much, but she will she him again.
Kirsten translated broken messages from Eric. His thoughts and wishes on his upcoming passing, that God has been so good to him, and to never be angry at God for any this.
We did have some laughs when Eric would try to get a word out and all of us would shout out what word we thought he was saying as if in Charades. He would smile and shake his head no and try up to 5 to 6 times to say half a word before we could guess.
He said he had so much to say, but he can't get it out. I tell him to just spit the words out or this is going to take forever. Only he and I laugh ... that is just our relationship.
In the midst of a tragic disease there have been so many blessings. Forgiveness happens. Old friendships restore. The ALS office loans necessary equipment to make life as comfortable as possible.
Eric worries about Brooke and says he prays for her every day.
The evening was unrushed. Words that needed said were spoken. Tears happened. Laughs happened.
A bridge was built for my daughter and her daddy who could not say goodbye on their own to each other.
I kept looking into the sky thanking God for a perfect evening under all circumstances.
Sunshine, comfortable temperatures, for time, and the opportunity to sit together as a blended family saying words that needed to be said with plenty of time to laugh and talk afterwards.
Closure is a gift of its own.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Bob Evans for Father's Day
A month ago, Brooke warned me that she is not celebrating Father's Day, then this morning she mentioned that she would like to go to breakfast to either Bob Evans or IHOP.
I remember her daddy used to take her to Bob Evans, but play along nicely and said let's go to Bob Evans, we haven't eaten there for a long time. She carefully chooses her dress and I see her applying lipstick.
"Mom, how do I look?" She asks me from the top of the steps.
Translation: How do I look today for my Father's Day breakfast for my dad? Good grief, I fight the tears that want to come to my eyes and I think an elephant is now sitting on my chest.
I walk to the bottom of the stairs and look up. She is in her favorite dress with the silver sparkle vest we bought for her dad's funeral. "You look beautiful," I told her and she smiled.
We sit in a booth and Brooke pulls out a picture of her and her daddy and sets it on the table with us.
I notice the waitress doesn't stop looking at the picture every time she comes to check on us. Please don't ask, I say in my mind.
At the end of the meal, Brooke was full, happy, and thanked me for taking her to breakfast. She picks up her picture and says, "Happy Father's Day, daddy, back in my purse you go!"
Sometimes I never know how this day is going to turn out.
I remember her daddy used to take her to Bob Evans, but play along nicely and said let's go to Bob Evans, we haven't eaten there for a long time. She carefully chooses her dress and I see her applying lipstick.
"Mom, how do I look?" She asks me from the top of the steps.
Translation: How do I look today for my Father's Day breakfast for my dad? Good grief, I fight the tears that want to come to my eyes and I think an elephant is now sitting on my chest.
I walk to the bottom of the stairs and look up. She is in her favorite dress with the silver sparkle vest we bought for her dad's funeral. "You look beautiful," I told her and she smiled.
We sit in a booth and Brooke pulls out a picture of her and her daddy and sets it on the table with us.
I notice the waitress doesn't stop looking at the picture every time she comes to check on us. Please don't ask, I say in my mind.
At the end of the meal, Brooke was full, happy, and thanked me for taking her to breakfast. She picks up her picture and says, "Happy Father's Day, daddy, back in my purse you go!"
Sometimes I never know how this day is going to turn out.
A Perfect Day Together
There is so much going on at home. Preparing Mariah for her dad's death, putting safety measures in place for Brooke who is about to re-live her dads death, and the company I work may not exist in 30 days.
That is a lot in one week. It is a lot of emotions at home and in the office, it is a lot of uncertainty.
Have you met my God?
Hearts are heavy and burdened, my only job is to tend to my girls God entrusted to me. He will handle the financial end, He always has. That is where my faith says, "I trust You, it's Yours, please handle."
Things don't happen to me, they happen for me. My whole life has been an adventure that I look back on and see that change promoted me to the place I needed to be next on purpose.
In the midst of high emotions, I had a perfect day etched out in the sunshine.
He said be ready at 9:00 a.m. and I was. To me it felt like Christmas morning.
Sunshine and 80+ degrees, I felt a sigh of relief crossing over the West Virginia border. Simply being in another state hours from home became my special day perfectly coordinated, blessed with perfect weather.
We rode on his Harley cruiser through the mountains, into West Virginia where we stopped to browse, sampled all sorts of flavors of fudge, he bought some for me to bring home to my girls, we enjoyed lunch at a beautiful restaurant on top of a mountain, then headed home.
"Thank you for today," tranquil me whispered to him snuggled up on the bike, my head on his shoulder, and his fingers of his left hand intertwined with mine against his chest. "Today is perfect," he said.
We talk endlessly together and I mention his endearing qualities of him being a man now that continue to surprise me. "Like what?" He wants to know. Lucky for him, I have an arsenal of attributes and descriptions of him I have grown to love, cherish, and appreciate beyond measure. I lavishly share.
Well-deserved words of affirmations, specifically for him that lets him know I see all these qualities that were there decades ago, just fine-tuned now that he is a man.
Men thrive under words of affirmations and fortunately for him, I have a lot to say and love to share my thoughts.
I plant seeds in his mind of his qualities I love so much. It is for me to communicate and plant the seed, appreciating him where he is now, and encouraging in the areas that are important and relate to me and us. It is for him to take that communication and decide how to respond. A beautiful relationship is flourishing. He listens and responds because I am important to him.
I thanked him for initiating, planning, and making yesterday happen. It was all on him, this amazing day for me.
A perfect day together.
That is a lot in one week. It is a lot of emotions at home and in the office, it is a lot of uncertainty.
Have you met my God?
Hearts are heavy and burdened, my only job is to tend to my girls God entrusted to me. He will handle the financial end, He always has. That is where my faith says, "I trust You, it's Yours, please handle."
Things don't happen to me, they happen for me. My whole life has been an adventure that I look back on and see that change promoted me to the place I needed to be next on purpose.
In the midst of high emotions, I had a perfect day etched out in the sunshine.
He said be ready at 9:00 a.m. and I was. To me it felt like Christmas morning.
Sunshine and 80+ degrees, I felt a sigh of relief crossing over the West Virginia border. Simply being in another state hours from home became my special day perfectly coordinated, blessed with perfect weather.
We rode on his Harley cruiser through the mountains, into West Virginia where we stopped to browse, sampled all sorts of flavors of fudge, he bought some for me to bring home to my girls, we enjoyed lunch at a beautiful restaurant on top of a mountain, then headed home.
"Thank you for today," tranquil me whispered to him snuggled up on the bike, my head on his shoulder, and his fingers of his left hand intertwined with mine against his chest. "Today is perfect," he said.
We talk endlessly together and I mention his endearing qualities of him being a man now that continue to surprise me. "Like what?" He wants to know. Lucky for him, I have an arsenal of attributes and descriptions of him I have grown to love, cherish, and appreciate beyond measure. I lavishly share.
Well-deserved words of affirmations, specifically for him that lets him know I see all these qualities that were there decades ago, just fine-tuned now that he is a man.
Men thrive under words of affirmations and fortunately for him, I have a lot to say and love to share my thoughts.
I plant seeds in his mind of his qualities I love so much. It is for me to communicate and plant the seed, appreciating him where he is now, and encouraging in the areas that are important and relate to me and us. It is for him to take that communication and decide how to respond. A beautiful relationship is flourishing. He listens and responds because I am important to him.
I thanked him for initiating, planning, and making yesterday happen. It was all on him, this amazing day for me.
A perfect day together.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Tapping Into Prayer Warriors
There have only been a few times in my life where I knew I had to tap into prayer warrior power to face what was coming. Some circumstances in life call for extra power and I was on a mission.
Scrolling through my cell phone contacts, I needed the best of the best.
Not the ones who would politely say they would say a prayer, but the dedicated family and friends I knew would pray with intent and purpose to move God's mighty hand at 6:45 p.m. on Thursday when Kirsten and I met with Mariah to let her know it is time to say goodbye to her dad.
A best girlfriend, shared the next day they she was just sitting down at the dinner table with her family when in prayer she began to cry and her little girl who knew why her mommy was so upset asked God at the table to be with Mariah. KPB excused herself from the table and said it had been a long time since she cried and prayed on her knees by her bed and pray for my girls and me.
She cried sharing with me her story, love & friendship does that.
I felt confident in the small but powerful group I had chosen as a mom going into battle for her daughter. My Mariah was covered in prayer and our well-planned conversation went so well, that I was shocked at her level of peace and okayness with this conversation.
Mariah knows she is loved and though I cannot prevent the inevitable, I can intervene in spiritual warfare with powerful, loving Christians uniting in prayer at the same time for my little girl.
Their prayers made all the difference.
Scrolling through my cell phone contacts, I needed the best of the best.
Not the ones who would politely say they would say a prayer, but the dedicated family and friends I knew would pray with intent and purpose to move God's mighty hand at 6:45 p.m. on Thursday when Kirsten and I met with Mariah to let her know it is time to say goodbye to her dad.
A best girlfriend, shared the next day they she was just sitting down at the dinner table with her family when in prayer she began to cry and her little girl who knew why her mommy was so upset asked God at the table to be with Mariah. KPB excused herself from the table and said it had been a long time since she cried and prayed on her knees by her bed and pray for my girls and me.
She cried sharing with me her story, love & friendship does that.
I felt confident in the small but powerful group I had chosen as a mom going into battle for her daughter. My Mariah was covered in prayer and our well-planned conversation went so well, that I was shocked at her level of peace and okayness with this conversation.
Mariah knows she is loved and though I cannot prevent the inevitable, I can intervene in spiritual warfare with powerful, loving Christians uniting in prayer at the same time for my little girl.
Their prayers made all the difference.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The Time Is Near
My Mariah's stepmom called last night, Eric has taken a turn for the worse and his end is near. Hospice has said to prepare.
Neither Eric or Mariah can say goodbye and Kirsten believes Eric is only holding on because of Mariah.
It's time. It's time for Mariah and Eric to say their last loving words on this earth to one another.
Kirsten and I are teaming up for an intervention in two days with Mariah and tell her the truth. We are taking her to the park to tell her gently as possible. She needs to see Kirsten and I united for her and for Eric as their present bridge of strength to endure the fast approaching end.
I appreciate Kirsten. We have never been "friends" but have treated each other professionally and respectfully through the last 10 years she and Eric have been married.
Women bond, unite, and become a force to reckon with during all sorts of situations in life. We let bygones be bygones and knock down mountains for those we love.
I cannot believe 1-1/2 years have passed since Eric was diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease.
My little girl has two more days to live carefree before she hears the words she fears. I hate this upcoming conversation with everything I am and I cannot believe my 2nd child is about to lose her father, too. Two days to put family and loved ones in place to surround her in love.
Two days and reality will change her world forever.
Please pray for my little girl.
Neither Eric or Mariah can say goodbye and Kirsten believes Eric is only holding on because of Mariah.
It's time. It's time for Mariah and Eric to say their last loving words on this earth to one another.
Kirsten and I are teaming up for an intervention in two days with Mariah and tell her the truth. We are taking her to the park to tell her gently as possible. She needs to see Kirsten and I united for her and for Eric as their present bridge of strength to endure the fast approaching end.
I appreciate Kirsten. We have never been "friends" but have treated each other professionally and respectfully through the last 10 years she and Eric have been married.
Women bond, unite, and become a force to reckon with during all sorts of situations in life. We let bygones be bygones and knock down mountains for those we love.
I cannot believe 1-1/2 years have passed since Eric was diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease.
My little girl has two more days to live carefree before she hears the words she fears. I hate this upcoming conversation with everything I am and I cannot believe my 2nd child is about to lose her father, too. Two days to put family and loved ones in place to surround her in love.
Two days and reality will change her world forever.
Please pray for my little girl.
The Sweetest Thing
We have had many conversations in the past month of twenty years ago. He says, "I wish we would have gotten together twenty years ago ..." and I say, I'm glad we did now.
He brings it up often, I know he wishes we had. I gently explain, I was a princess brat in my 20's, immature, and would have never appreciated him as I do now.
He agrees that he was wild, immature, and we would have been intense together, but he says the chemistry that we have now and had towards each other then would have been enough to keep us together until we both grew up.
I thought that was the sweetest thing.
He brings it up often, I know he wishes we had. I gently explain, I was a princess brat in my 20's, immature, and would have never appreciated him as I do now.
He agrees that he was wild, immature, and we would have been intense together, but he says the chemistry that we have now and had towards each other then would have been enough to keep us together until we both grew up.
I thought that was the sweetest thing.
Monday, June 10, 2013
On That Midnight Train to Georgia
L.A. proved too much for the man,
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.
He's leaving,
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
This old classic song filled the air as I sat on a patio at an Italian restaurant today having lunch with the one I am falling so head over heels for.
It started to pour down rain and that made the mood even more romantic being the only ones who chose the covered patio.
After catching up in conversation and happy to just be together he asks, "What are you thinking about?" I wasn't sure if I was ready to be totally honest when he asked again, "Are you going to make me guess?"
He desires to communicate with me and doesn't miss a beat.
This man across from me, the one I see forever with ... it was time to put my stake in the ground and I confess ..."I want you in my life," I share. "I want you be there and I want to experience everything with you. Not because I need you, but because I want to share everything with you ..."
He listened knowingly, confirmed and matched my heart.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.
He's leaving,
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
This old classic song filled the air as I sat on a patio at an Italian restaurant today having lunch with the one I am falling so head over heels for.
It started to pour down rain and that made the mood even more romantic being the only ones who chose the covered patio.
After catching up in conversation and happy to just be together he asks, "What are you thinking about?" I wasn't sure if I was ready to be totally honest when he asked again, "Are you going to make me guess?"
He desires to communicate with me and doesn't miss a beat.
This man across from me, the one I see forever with ... it was time to put my stake in the ground and I confess ..."I want you in my life," I share. "I want you be there and I want to experience everything with you. Not because I need you, but because I want to share everything with you ..."
He listened knowingly, confirmed and matched my heart.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
A.C.T.
Mariah texts me while she is out making sure I will go with her to her ACT testing yesterday morning.
Translation: I'm not sure where to go and I need your help making all this come together for me. BTW, I am going to be out late the night before, please make this happen. Thanks. I love you.
I am up and ready early on Saturday morning, arrive at local college campus at 7:30 a.m. to get out of the car when Mariah says, "Mom, I see my friends ... is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Mariah's world ... where mom (yours truly) schedules the testing, prints the confirmation, texts her what time she needs to be there, where she needs to go, reads over the what-to-do and what-you-may-not-bring into A.C.T. testing, researches on the website for what calculators are acceptable and unacceptable so she stands the best possible chance passing the Math portion of the test, reminds he she needs snacks for this 5-1/2 hour test, searches for #2 pencils, then she asks if I could sharpen them while she gets ready.
"Is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Sure honey, is there anything else I can do for you? [Sarcastically thought]
There were no other moms or dads walking their almost college students into testing. Yes, I did realize I could have done a little less and she is capable of more. I tend to make my girls lives as easy as possible.
So, I went over to my mom & dads house for coffee and conversation.
Translation: I'm not sure where to go and I need your help making all this come together for me. BTW, I am going to be out late the night before, please make this happen. Thanks. I love you.
I am up and ready early on Saturday morning, arrive at local college campus at 7:30 a.m. to get out of the car when Mariah says, "Mom, I see my friends ... is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Mariah's world ... where mom (yours truly) schedules the testing, prints the confirmation, texts her what time she needs to be there, where she needs to go, reads over the what-to-do and what-you-may-not-bring into A.C.T. testing, researches on the website for what calculators are acceptable and unacceptable so she stands the best possible chance passing the Math portion of the test, reminds he she needs snacks for this 5-1/2 hour test, searches for #2 pencils, then she asks if I could sharpen them while she gets ready.
"Is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Sure honey, is there anything else I can do for you? [Sarcastically thought]
There were no other moms or dads walking their almost college students into testing. Yes, I did realize I could have done a little less and she is capable of more. I tend to make my girls lives as easy as possible.
So, I went over to my mom & dads house for coffee and conversation.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Spiritual Warfare
Unexplainable happenings since Keith's passing have been creepy to say the least.
After almost 2-1/2 years, I called my brother this morning who is a Baptist pastor and asked him to come to my home and take care of it.
I was a bit hesitant and surprised when he said he wanted my girls to be a part of what he was about to do, but I understood why after the fact. After work, he met us at our home and at our dining room table he explained to my girls death and spirits.
He explained carefully to them from a Biblical perspective the unseen is very real, what it is, but that we have power through God to cleanse our home permanently.
Permanently as long as we do not invite spirits in through portals of the dark world. It was another good opportunity for me to explain to my girls why paranormal is not allowed in my home on television, movies, etc. That when they are with their friends who want to tap into psychics and things that tap into the spiritual world to remove themselves from the situation.
Spiritual warfare is very real. The unseen would terrify us if we could see.
My brother is an amazing guy and I absolutely love him. I'm proud of him being a pastor, his relationship and purpose in life passionately sharing the word of God. I admire him as a man, a husband, and as a father. I love that no matter what happens in life, he is my brother first and foremost. Once upon a time I went to him about a personal matter in life and he told me then that he is not my pastor, that he would always be my brother first, and he has kept true to his word. I've never forgotten it and we really share an incredible bond.
My brother explained to my girls what the Bible says about spirits, that as a family we have to be united with not one of us in our home who wants things not of God to enter. That was easy, all of us are peace-out on anything creepy.
Then we prayed together.
He prayed to rid our home forever of anything not of God. He prayed for safety over our yard, that angels will surround us always. He prayed for specifics and the prayer went on ...
I have been born into a family of incredible faith. My girls will understand the value beyond all measure as an adult what role this will play in their lives. The blessings that will follow them and their children because of our faith.
Spiritual warfare will rage on, but not in my home or property.
After almost 2-1/2 years, I called my brother this morning who is a Baptist pastor and asked him to come to my home and take care of it.
I was a bit hesitant and surprised when he said he wanted my girls to be a part of what he was about to do, but I understood why after the fact. After work, he met us at our home and at our dining room table he explained to my girls death and spirits.
He explained carefully to them from a Biblical perspective the unseen is very real, what it is, but that we have power through God to cleanse our home permanently.
Permanently as long as we do not invite spirits in through portals of the dark world. It was another good opportunity for me to explain to my girls why paranormal is not allowed in my home on television, movies, etc. That when they are with their friends who want to tap into psychics and things that tap into the spiritual world to remove themselves from the situation.
Spiritual warfare is very real. The unseen would terrify us if we could see.
My brother is an amazing guy and I absolutely love him. I'm proud of him being a pastor, his relationship and purpose in life passionately sharing the word of God. I admire him as a man, a husband, and as a father. I love that no matter what happens in life, he is my brother first and foremost. Once upon a time I went to him about a personal matter in life and he told me then that he is not my pastor, that he would always be my brother first, and he has kept true to his word. I've never forgotten it and we really share an incredible bond.
My brother explained to my girls what the Bible says about spirits, that as a family we have to be united with not one of us in our home who wants things not of God to enter. That was easy, all of us are peace-out on anything creepy.
Then we prayed together.
He prayed to rid our home forever of anything not of God. He prayed for safety over our yard, that angels will surround us always. He prayed for specifics and the prayer went on ...
I have been born into a family of incredible faith. My girls will understand the value beyond all measure as an adult what role this will play in their lives. The blessings that will follow them and their children because of our faith.
Spiritual warfare will rage on, but not in my home or property.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
I Am Falling In Love
My world is full of magical, breathtaking, rapturous stolen moments, fairy tales, and pixie dust. I am falling in love.
My time-out in dating has paid off. My holding out and not settling for a really great guy "on paper" has kept my life open for the perfect guy ... for me.
I touch my toes in these fairy tale waters and hardly believe it is real every day that goes by.
Every moment that I see him our friendship and relationship deepens. Every moment that he pulls me in his arms and kisses me, euphoric moments become my normal.
I am lost in his voice. I value what a grounded amazing man he is. He has surpassed the very boundaries that lesser men have not passed, I genuinely respect him.
I am his thoughts. I am his quality time.
I am where his thoughts and daydreams linger.
Weeks ago I told Christin he is going to be significant in my life and he is.
My time-out in dating has paid off. My holding out and not settling for a really great guy "on paper" has kept my life open for the perfect guy ... for me.
I touch my toes in these fairy tale waters and hardly believe it is real every day that goes by.
Every moment that I see him our friendship and relationship deepens. Every moment that he pulls me in his arms and kisses me, euphoric moments become my normal.
I am lost in his voice. I value what a grounded amazing man he is. He has surpassed the very boundaries that lesser men have not passed, I genuinely respect him.
I am his thoughts. I am his quality time.
I am where his thoughts and daydreams linger.
Weeks ago I told Christin he is going to be significant in my life and he is.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
An Amazing Day
Waking up early, opening the windows, hearing the birds sing, the sunshine, the morning coolness, the girls still asleep, and a wonderful day ahead of me. It is my favorite way to start the day.
I am excited beyond words. I am falling head over heels for the best guy that simply makes my soul sing!
Today is our well-planned and scheduled quality time. Hours spent together laughing, talking, holding hands, kissing, and lost in each other.
I wake up to, "Good morning, beautiful" text messages and fall asleep to his words he cannot wait to see me.
Phone conversations throughout the day, simply sharing daily details. He lets me know constantly I am in his thoughts.
In a few hours this full of life, crazy sexy guy will pull in my driveway, light up like the northern lights, take my breath away, then pull me in his arms and kiss me like a lost lover.
For now, the cool morning breeze and the birds chirping are setting the scene for what is going to be an amazing day!
Shhhhh ... don't wake the girls up just yet.
I am excited beyond words. I am falling head over heels for the best guy that simply makes my soul sing!
Today is our well-planned and scheduled quality time. Hours spent together laughing, talking, holding hands, kissing, and lost in each other.
I wake up to, "Good morning, beautiful" text messages and fall asleep to his words he cannot wait to see me.
Phone conversations throughout the day, simply sharing daily details. He lets me know constantly I am in his thoughts.
In a few hours this full of life, crazy sexy guy will pull in my driveway, light up like the northern lights, take my breath away, then pull me in his arms and kiss me like a lost lover.
For now, the cool morning breeze and the birds chirping are setting the scene for what is going to be an amazing day!
Shhhhh ... don't wake the girls up just yet.
Siblinghood Prevails
Siblinghood prevails. Words my Mariah won't forget.
Traveling on an all-family vacation this past week in one vehicle was my dad (Papa), and the two little ones who watched their movies with headsets, slept, and my dad and I enjoyed the drive speaking a little and a lot of just silence. That's how we roll.
The other car were the chatty-cathies, my brother, sister-n-law, Mariah, and my mom. I would have wanted to jump out of the moving car after 6-hours of constant loud conversation.
My Mariah is very close to my brother. He was a single young man when she was born and married when she was 4 years old. Mariah has wedged herself as a toddler between my brother and his wife Melissa since they were dating.
My mom shares with me a conversation in their car ...
Mariah was saying how strong she is, that she is stronger than me. My brother cautiously warns her that she may be stronger, but that I am much meaner that she is, don't ever put your hands on your mom.
Mariah tests the waters a bit further ... "What if my mom hits me first?"
"If your mom hits you, you deserved it. If you ever put your hands on your mom, even if she hits you first, I will come after you and hit YOU! That is my sister and she will always come first" my brother (the pastor) warns her.
Stunned. I know her feelings were hurt. I know she believed her uncle would always protect her first, but he didn't.
Siblinghood prevails.
A lesson well learned.
*For the record, I don't hit my kids. Mariah likes to wrestle and play rough. A few years ago, she started wrestling with me and became overly excited when she knew she was getting pretty close to giving me a run for my money. I told her to stop and in her excitement she wanted to prove she is stronger and didn't. So, I *pinched* her. Hard. It crushed her feelings and I warned her then, don't ever try to overpower me. Some day you will be stronger, but I am much meaner and I will hurt you.
Traveling on an all-family vacation this past week in one vehicle was my dad (Papa), and the two little ones who watched their movies with headsets, slept, and my dad and I enjoyed the drive speaking a little and a lot of just silence. That's how we roll.
The other car were the chatty-cathies, my brother, sister-n-law, Mariah, and my mom. I would have wanted to jump out of the moving car after 6-hours of constant loud conversation.
My Mariah is very close to my brother. He was a single young man when she was born and married when she was 4 years old. Mariah has wedged herself as a toddler between my brother and his wife Melissa since they were dating.
My mom shares with me a conversation in their car ...
Mariah was saying how strong she is, that she is stronger than me. My brother cautiously warns her that she may be stronger, but that I am much meaner that she is, don't ever put your hands on your mom.
Mariah tests the waters a bit further ... "What if my mom hits me first?"
"If your mom hits you, you deserved it. If you ever put your hands on your mom, even if she hits you first, I will come after you and hit YOU! That is my sister and she will always come first" my brother (the pastor) warns her.
Stunned. I know her feelings were hurt. I know she believed her uncle would always protect her first, but he didn't.
Siblinghood prevails.
A lesson well learned.
*For the record, I don't hit my kids. Mariah likes to wrestle and play rough. A few years ago, she started wrestling with me and became overly excited when she knew she was getting pretty close to giving me a run for my money. I told her to stop and in her excitement she wanted to prove she is stronger and didn't. So, I *pinched* her. Hard. It crushed her feelings and I warned her then, don't ever try to overpower me. Some day you will be stronger, but I am much meaner and I will hurt you.
From Success to Significance
I am reading a book called From Success to Significance. This September I am taking a 6-week course based on this very book on a topic that many face later on in life, but for me it is now.
I am always seeking the what haven't I done, in what ways can I grow and stretch my mind, and always the I want to try everything. So I found myself at a place where many halftimers (average 50 year olds) find themselves that have had a successful career, built their home, raised their family, yet comes to a point in life where after success where is the significance?
This is a quest I am seeking.
Seeking because I want to live the fullest life possible. As my girls get older and my freedom returns, I look at life as another new beginning.
Everything I have learned in life thus far is being fine-tuned, valued, and appreciated as quality of life is well-honed.
In my quest for seeking significance I have found the peace of being unstuck. I am no longer in a box as to where I can live, I am free of an established career that some cannot change from after so many years. My life is so open to what ever comes next and while as I say it out loud it all sounds very unsettled and unplanned, but it isn't at all. It is liberating and open.
I am always seeking the what haven't I done, in what ways can I grow and stretch my mind, and always the I want to try everything. So I found myself at a place where many halftimers (average 50 year olds) find themselves that have had a successful career, built their home, raised their family, yet comes to a point in life where after success where is the significance?
This is a quest I am seeking.
Seeking because I want to live the fullest life possible. As my girls get older and my freedom returns, I look at life as another new beginning.
Everything I have learned in life thus far is being fine-tuned, valued, and appreciated as quality of life is well-honed.
In my quest for seeking significance I have found the peace of being unstuck. I am no longer in a box as to where I can live, I am free of an established career that some cannot change from after so many years. My life is so open to what ever comes next and while as I say it out loud it all sounds very unsettled and unplanned, but it isn't at all. It is liberating and open.
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are built for."
I want the journey, the adventure, and the memories of a well-lived life.
Significance is a personal perspective, we each have our own.
From success to significance, I want the journey of a lifetime, and it is beginning now.
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