Submission

The bible says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

[Clause:  I am not a wife.]  Off the hook on a technicality.

As a single mom, with the duties of a father and mother that rests on me, I am the law in my home. Times that by 19 years of life experience has firmed this role.

Put into positions working with strong male roles in the medical field, working as the right hand of a President & CEO, serving as a director with authority over men in a rescue mission men's shelter, you can absolutely guess, my skills are well-honed and my confidence rock solid.

Of course, I would choose a man in my life who must be the man in the relationship. Not an easy quest. I do believe most men are emotionally weak and this generation of men do not compare to the generation of men from my father's generation with strong work ethics, family values, and that submit to God themselves.

Submission has always been laughable.

As an alpha female with a strong and confident personality and not a high level respect for 98% of weak men out there from life and professional experience, knowing God through the bible has put an order of authority puts me into a submissive position once married.

God. Husband. Wife.

Ladies, this is why you better chose well.

Unnatural, uncomfortable, abnormal, for this girl.

Loop holes every where. Saved by technicality. I still know what will be expected for someday.

All this to say ... I have found an "Aha!" moment and a boundary I can live within and if it gives any woman a peace of mind, this will be the mantra for every painful time I am God-ordered submissive ...

Submission is learning to duck so God 

can hit your husband.

100%

A simple quote, but you'd be surprised how many times this quote flashes through my mind when uncertainties becomes blazing sirens blinding my view.

I remember who my God is and sometimes I climb onto his lap and rest, rejuvenate and remember that past record. Not only do I have a 100% success rate of getting through, but I have always come out ahead.

Then I remember that I am a child of the Most High, that I am beautifully and wonderfully made and I am empowered by prayer to bring the power of heaven to earth.

"Through prayer you'll not only be able to defend yourself from incoming sniper fire but through Almightly God will be able to push into enemy territory and take ... stuff ... back. At the end of the day, the enemy is going to be sorry he ever messed with you. You're about to become his worst nightmare a million times over. He thought he could wear you down, sure that after a while you'd give up without much of a fight. Well, just wait till he encounters the fight of God's Spirit in you. Because ... This. Means. War."   - Fervent, Priscilla Shirer

Strategies

I found it, that book with that part I had underlined and said, "YES!" to.

The book is a called Fervent, which is also my favorite word. In fact, one of my first few posts on this blog years ago was titled Fervent, because it is my favorite word.

Fervent: (adjective) having or displaying a passionate intensity. Synonyms: impassioned, passionate.

I picked up this book, but haven't touched in 4-5 months (I am in the middle of reading another book right now, sometimes I bounce around with my books) and nestle down in bed. As I am reading this, the words sound familiar. I've heard these impassioned words ... this morning.

I look flip the book to the front cover to see who the author is, Priscilla Shirer, name doesn't ring familiar. Flipping the book over to see if there is a photo of the author. I love photos of writers. I just want to see what they look like.

It's her!

No wonder the words sounded familiar. Priscilla Shirer is the woman who played the wife in the movie War Room. The passion and insight of the words of the elderly woman who took the wife in to teach her, was actually the words already written by Priscilla in her book Fervent.

I just watched that movie yesterday morning.

Dots connecting together.

Divine dots, perfect timing.

I had it underlined ... Strategies? Yes. Because as you may have noticed, the battles your enemy wages against you - possess a personality to them, in intimate knowledge of who you are and the precise pressure points where you can most easily be taken down. 

I am on to something.

I am paying attention.

Pieces are being revealed.

Spiritual Warfare

I've recognized as I have gotten older in life that breakthrough in an unknown area puts a target right on my back and spiritual warfare becomes hell breaking loose. 

The more aware I've become, the more I listen, the easier I recognize the signs and I have no idea what on earth I am up against, which becomes what the heck is about to happen in my life that invisible powers wants stopped?

It starts off feeling unsettled as if I am ready to break out of the waiting room into a new season in life, open, willing and always ready for whatever comes next, then havoc wants to break loose.

Havoc can be a target on my back where big, significant things go wrong all at once. As if a wave wants to take me out, but I keep breathing. Havoc can also come in the forms of beautiful temptations in areas of my life when I am my weakest. 

Blessings and temptations blur together in a way that I cannot even sort which is for my good and which is perfectly wrong. 

I have books that I read over and over and I cannot think of the book where it perfectly states Satan knows and brings such confusion. It was so beautifully put, that I have said, "YES! This! This is exactly what happens!" But, I cannot find that book. I need to find those words of clarity.

What if blessings weren't blessings but perfect temptations and what if temptations seem like temptations but are blessings?

We have choices we have to make. 

I am in direct contact with God, "Your will God, not mine." I cannot see into future unknowns and I also have a horrible history of always getting it wrong. I remind God to please not forget the secret desires of my heart. 

I am seeking and I am getting glimpses of answers, then a second wave hits me and I question again, what if temptations seem like temptations but are blessings and what if the blessings weren't blessings but perfect temptations.

What is changing? I can feel it.

She said, "Yes" to the Dress!

Having daughters become anticipated milestones the moment you hear, "it's a girl!" in the womb.

A little girl. Pretty outfits, Frills and ruffles, bows in their hair. A best little girl friend. School dances and slipping into a wedding dress.

Mariah & Jeremy's wedding is in three months.

Much to do, we went wedding dress shopping yesterday. Coordinating our schedules, we picked Brooke up from school early, went to lunch and met a couple of the the nine bridesmaids at the bridal shop to try on dresses.

The first stop was a monstrosity, I felt my resolve slipping and it didn't go without words. As a mom, it was the experience I had not dreamed of.

It was when we walked into the 2nd bridal shop the atmosphere changed and it was what every mom would hope for. Quiet, organization, a coffee/beverage station that said, "take your time and browse, we've got all the little details covered."

Dresses hung 12" apart for ease in viewing. The selection, impressive. Lighting just right. It all really does add to the experience. Two sales girls dressed looking as if they have an element of class and will help.

We were shown to a private viewing room to put our coats and things down. Told the flow of the dresses, how to turn the dresses and she would do the work carrying them.

Selecting many dresses, we are seated in the viewing room and I can see my little girl in the two walls of mirrors with her arms in the air as wedding dresses were being slipped over her head and honestly, some moments in life become more real than others.

My gosh, my little girl is slipping into a beautiful selection of wedding dresses with one "Aha!" moment that will quickly turn into her wedding day.

The bridesmaids are laughing and talking next to me, but the sound faded as I watched this scene in front of my eyes and her little life flashed through so many stages that brought us to this day.

The first couple of dresses were pretty and we felt an element of hope. Then she walked out in a dress she wanted to try without the diamond studded sash and as we were admiring how pretty it was, when the sash was slipped around her waist, she turned to look in the mirror and her face lit up!

It was perfect.

This was the moment I wanted her to experience. The gasp of breathtaking a perfect. The complete certainty that makes her feel beautiful her wedding day.

Tears often confirm perfect moments and Brooke and I clearly were on the same page.

It was unanimous in a room of girls with different opinions, she found her perfect.

I simply cannot wait to see her walk towards her groom on her wedding day.

Those Who Step Up ...

During a milestone or tragic event in life it is always interesting to see those who step up and those who don't.

I remember when both my daughter's dads died, both tragic deaths in their own ways. Brooke's dad committed suicide and Mariah's dad died from ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease. People don't know what to say so they offer an empty cliche. 

Just say, "I'm so sorry for your loss." 

Asking questions why do you think this happened? Was it karma? These are ignorant questions.

What I found odd was acquaintance's who stepped up out of no where and filled the role of family members you expect to be supportive, but they didn't want to bother.  

You honestly don't know who these people truly are until a tragedy hits.

Or, not even a tragedy. An engagement.

Mariah's feelings have been so hurt over her engagement. Simple acquaintance's she gives no thought to over the moon happy for her & Jeremy's engagement and family members who have become ugly.

The same family members who have been her best friends, welcomed her in to their family the last year or so who have blindsided her in not approving.

It's an ugly thing to face and it does hurt feelings. They are the ones who are ugly and their true colors are showing. 

No situation is ever perfect to everyone and you cannot control what others think or say. You can however define healthy boundaries for those who are ugly and simply protect your perfect.  

Mariah and Jeremy have done everything "the right way" going into their marriage. It just goes to show you cannot make everyone happy. 

A lot of unconditional love conversations are being had and I am so pleased both Mariah & Jeremy view our family (including Grandma & Papa and Uncle Jason & fam) as unconditional love. If Mariah has thought nothing of this being normal to her, Jeremy has pointed it out on several occasions to her and she is learning the beauty of unconditional love. 

Define your boundaries, baby girl, and protect what you love. 

They're Getting Married!

My Mariah said, "YES!"

What an exciting day! 

1.6.16

Jeremy made her day special and asked her to marry him at the top of the Monument. The very place he challenged my competitive daughter to a race up the mighty steps years ago.

My little girl couldn't be happier and the day was filled with excitement from his 1st clue the night before, through her walking up those steps to "their" song and Jeremy getting down on one knee (photos and videos capture it all), telling and sharing with family and friends and the world of social media.

So much excitement!

Brooke's reactions were so loving to hearing about the proposal, to her watching the proposal on video. Genuine happiness and tears. Then, the big question ... when will she be moving out and Brooke moving into her room. The very question that is asked at least once a week finally coming to fruition. 

So much to do. 

A welcome significant life change.