Supermodel Gorgeous

9:00 a.m. - Breakfast for out of town family and friends (80) with the bride & groom the morning after the wedding.

11:30 a.m. -  Brunch for a baby shower (50) where no expense was spared in any detail.

1:30 p.m. -  A bridal shower (40) on the patio overlooking the golf course.

Mimosas, breakfast buffets, delectable pastries made by the chef, me closing my eyes in pure enjoyment and praising his skill. I always tell him he is my favorite person, and he says I should surround myself around a better group of friends. I always reply, "Nope, they can't cook like you. We have to be friends forever."

I genuinely mean it, his skill is incredible. He appreciates words of praise and I always end up with a take home box or two of his work he insists he prepares for me.

This morning was busy, my feet hurt because I like to wear heels and after several hours of being a polished hostess, sometimes I just want to come home to relax and rejuvenate.

I suppose I could have found time to work out and become supermodel gorgeous, but I've come to realize, I pick and choose when it's important to me. There are phases where it's my focus and calorie counting apps become my friend after several weeks of starving adjusting to low calorie intake. Then, there are phases where I eat, drink, and enjoy without guilt, savoring what I want when I want.

This afternoon, before I could do a single thing for another person, I slipped into my floating chair in the pool where the sun was hot, the water was refreshingly cool, my book made me laugh out loud, and my Starbuck's coffee was the perfect jolt of mid-afternoon caffeine I needed.

I still feel like I live on a vacation resort.

Showered and refreshed, I am ready to face the day like a woman to works hard, knows how to quickly rejuvenate and jump back into this beautiful summer day.

Treasures

This is quite possibly my favorite outfit Sofia has ever worn. This blush colored tank top romper with her exposed chubby back is hysterically sweet and snugly soft. 

There are treasures in my purse Sofia is simply drawn to. Well, she's seen chocolate come out of there, then there's keys, then a make-up bag that has a square chapstick I'm trying to teach her goes on her lips, we don't bite and eat it. 

She bee-lines for my bedroom when she comes over and will sit down to pick items out of my purse one thing at a time. Here at her house, I watched her spot my purse across the room and I smile watching her be curious as to what is inside.

Blessed are the curious, for they shall find adventure.

We are best of friends and I want her to know she can look and touch. I can't wait to experience life with her, go on adventures, and see life through her eyes.

Mariah had her D&C on Tuesday and while we are relieved that part is behind us so she can begin to heal, the thought of a grandchild here on earth and one in heaven still doesn't seem possible. 

There is a small hole in my heart for my grandchild in heaven, a fount of fresh flowing tears at the very thought. When asked how many grandchildren do I have, I have two. 

Be Still

This is me nestled away in my favorite corner of my world. The sun is shining with a comfortable breeze, the wind chime playing a soft tune, my iced sweet tea & mint freshly brewed and a silent home. I'm healing.

Up through last night it was a 7 day work week, 55 hours of in office work and events, not including my at home phone calls, constant texts and emails of everyone who seems to need something from both country clubs. After the news this week, I'm not sure if too busy was a blessing, but I certainly need to rejuvenate.

Today is my Mariah's 23rd birthday and they should be here soon. Two fabulous cakes, presents for her and Jeremy (he turned 36 years on 8/18) and tons of snuggles and kisses for my Sofia. 

Thank you God for a small window of peace and quiet, to talk to You, and be still. 

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle twinkle little star ..

My heart broke today. I walked into Mariah's appointment so happy to see my Sofia and watch my next grandbaby in ultrasound, never expecting my heart to break beside my daughter.

Grateful I was there, we were listening and trying to understand what the nurses were explaining. Confused. Blindsided. Happy excitement turned to grieving.

The card kept safe in my purse had a strong presence tucked inside there as a welcome  congratulations token to give to my daughter for my next grandchild.

Mariah and Sofia came back to my place for the afternoon and I made pasta with meatballs for lunch, comfort food.

A lot of tears, a lot of emotions, she took a shower and a nap.

Me, my heart hurts and I randomly cry during the day. If I talk about it, I cry. If I think about it, I cry.

Mariah has asked me a couple times, what do you think the baby is? I told her I have no idea. I didn't have an intuition either way. She shared the family members who predicted girl or boy. I wondered how so many who were not blood-related to my daughter had intuitions stronger than me. I remember asking God about that. Still zero intuition.

A few days ago, Brooke woke up saying she had bad dreams and I said I did, too. But, I didn't and wouldn't share my bad dream (I never dream at night), I didn't want to speak my dream out loud into the universe. In my dream I saw Mariah's uterus and it was just a uterus, there was no baby. In my dream I knew she lost the baby. I chalked it off as a bad dream as a fear and pushed it out of my mind.

I left the card in my purse all day, not ready to take it out other than for celebration. Do I throw it away? Do I save it for when she is pregnant again. Opening it up and reading my message, "In love with you already" broke my heart again and I decided to put it in Mariah's keepsake memory box.

In memory of my unborn grandchild that I will meet one day. *Written 8/16/18 and not to be posted until she makes the announcement.

How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are

When the blazing sun is gone
When nothing shines upon
Then you show your little light
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
xo

Sweet Slow Season

In the midst of the fastest summer of my life was the choice to slow down.

Facebook events, Groupon, and Entertainment, social media lists hundreds of events every weekend and throughout the week. You have to run around with your hair on fire to partake in a couple of the trendiest events and while it's fun and action-packed, it's expensive, and it's exhausting.

When I was 20'something, I was that girl. If there was an event, I was there. Not only was I there, I was in the limelight, dolled up, and twirling in delight.

People used to call me to find out what was going on around town to find something fun to do, because I knew what was happening.

It was a lively season in my life and I thrived in it.

Interests change, new hobbies are enjoyed and I find I don't like the chaos much anymore. If there is a ton of people, I have about an hour in me. It's fun to put my toes in the water of fun festivities, but I am no longer interested in fully submerging.

I like not having the white noise of cable television.

I enjoy balance, peace, and quiet. I confess I find more enjoyment in a sweet slow season.

Last week, after waiting two months, I finally got into the dermatologist about a spot on my leg. It's been there for a couple of years, then in about a month, it grew significantly and was strange shaped. My mom who is WebMD certified was sure it was a melanoma. She and my dad have both had multiple experiences with this.

The nurse did her preliminary work asking medical history. She went down a checklist of health questions, I answered, "no". She cringed as she asked if I brought my medication list with me. I laughed at her and said I don't take any medications. She was stunned. I don't.

I don't have health issues, thank you, God. I don't have mental health issues, thank you, God. No, I don't have anxiety or depression, thank you, God. No, I don't take vitamins.

I work hard. I eat healthy. I drink at least 32 oz. of water a day and try for more. I exercise. I sleep on routine schedule (while that sounds hum-drum, routine is key to falling asleep in seconds, waking up refreshed, and feeling energized).

The only time I visit a doctor is if I am sick. There have been times where it is 4-6 years in between even seeing a doctor. I recently went 8 years without going to the dentist, with a check-up the dentist said I look as if I've gone every 6-months, no cavities.

The spot on my leg was some medical-term lesion she burned off. All is well, thank you, God.

All that to say, have you ever seen so many people who struggle with anxiety and depression? It's a horrible new trend and everyone seems to want to jump on that bandwagon. I don't know if it's a lifestyle thing, it's food/health related, its a too busy thing, but you are responsible for your health and your mental health and each decision you make adds to better your health or chips away at it. Times that by years.

It's easy to get too busy and the fallout of those negative effects.

My life works better a little slower.

My family time and time with friends works better a little slower.

When there is time to relax, enjoy nature on a bike or walk, see the ripple of a paddle board gliding across a quiet lake, watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee surrounded by flowers, and when there is time to just get to be us.

That sweet slow season.

Fresh Mint Leaves

I used to buy packaged mint leaves at the store in the salad section. Freshly packaged up they cost $3-4 for a small 1" x 4" plastic package container and I found I would have to use them right away because they dried up quickly.

Still, it was a refreshing treat.

Not sure why I never thought of it until this summer and of all places, I found a tiny mint plant at Home Depot for $3. 

That small investment has given me so much delight! It has doubled in size in one month. It produces constant leaves, and I pick them from the bottom where they are the largest and put them in my teas, in my crystal pitcher of cucumber & mint ice water in my refrigerator and in fresh salads.

It sits on my balcony with all my other plants and I simply water it. I'm thinking I may pick up other herb plants to add to my balcony collection and culinary dishes.

In addition to their cooling properties, fragrance and mildly sweet flavor, mint leaves have health benefits such as aiding digestion, treat dizziness, nausea, headaches, nasal congestion, improving blood circulation, relieving muscle pain, boosting immunity, and the list actually goes on. 

All for only $3. 

"There's Food in the Kitchen"

I love to come home and have music greet me as I pull in to park. The realization of "Oh yea, today is the community pool party."

My neighbors at the pool enjoying the sunshine, playing corn hole, and as I walk through the front door of the clubhouse, greeted by the friendly staff. Josh says, "Hey Dawn, hope your hungry, there's food in the kitchen and drinks and beer in the refrigerator, come get something to eat!"

That my friends, is music to my hears.

I was caught in my two mile drive home from work wondering if I should grab something out or what I was going to make when I got home before I changed my clothes and head back out the door. While having a professional chef as a colleague and friend happily willing to make me anything I want, all I have to do is ask. Believe me, life hasn't always been like this.

Laughter, conversation, music, splashing, it's one of the many things I love about living here.

I still feel like I am on a resort vacation and loving the extra free time I have when I'm not working.

Getting to know many neighbors, I like the light & friendly conversations in passing.

How can it be August 11th already? Where did summer go? I'm afraid to blink.

Brooke and Alex are actively looking at apartments and as this has been the fastest summer in my life, I am going to be an empty-nester very, very soon.

"Happy Birthday, My Sofia!"

Where did her first year go? I remember my daughters phone call and the sound of her voice at 3:00 a.m., it was go time! Being present during her labor, the excitement when I was asked if I wanted to see the color of the top of her head and before I knew she was a girl and the thrill I felt when I saw her long dark hair.

The moment Mariah shouted, "IT'S A GIRL!" because she was the first to see looking down as Sofia came out. Sofia's first cry, the first time she was in my arms, I couldn't wait to smell her and breathe in her scent, and the moment I kissed her velvety face and lips and told her how much I love her!

Praying and thanking God the whole time.

I loved her before she was born, I met her August 10, 2017 and fell hopelessly in love with my grand daughter. 

One year and thousands of photos later, I am grateful for the relationship I have with her, because of the time I have with her. 

Oh Sofia, how much do I love thee? More than the stars in the sky, the grass on the earth, the leaves on the trees and the sand at the beach. I'll love you forever and always, because your my little one.

Happy birthday, Sofia! 

xo

Arriving March 2019!

As I am absolutely loving life with Sofia, I have another GRANDBABY on the way! 

Arriving March 2019

 

Mariah and I spent the afternoon paddle boarding then out for sushi. At dinner, she handed me my birthday present and I opened this pretty photo of Mariah & Sofia. I said, "how cute!" Mariah said, "Mom, read Sofia's shirt" and instantly I knew. My heart gripped and I could barely read her shirt through tears, BIG SISTER. 

It's amazing how many thoughts and reactions can race through your mind in the only 1 second it took me to hear her words, process, react, and read the photo. 

My baby is having another baby and I couldn't be happier!

Everyone is worried I won't love this baby as close as I am to Sofia. Hypothetically, I wondered in my own mind. 

Hypothetical thoughts vanished the moment it turned to reality, I have another grandchild on the way and I am blissfully in love and wonder all the details I did when Mariah was pregnant with Sofia.

You don't have one heart of love, once depleted, your out. 

When you think your heart will burst so full of love, God says, here is another grandbaby and suddenly that much love is added onto an already overflowing heart of pure love & joy.

This grandmomma role is absolutely the greatest!

Sofia's 1st Birthday Party

Oh my, has her first year of life flown by quickly!

At a pretty park in her hometown, with a fabulous play ground for kids, protected by the hot sun under a giant pavilion, 50 family members and friends came to celebrate at Sofia's 1st birthday party.

Two car suv/van loads full, best of luck to her mommy & daddy figuring out where to put all her new gifts. It reminded me of the days when my girls were little on their birthdays and at Christmas. I would have to unload toys just to make room for all their new stuff. 

From me, I enhanced bath time with a whale that fits over the faucet, a plastic pitcher with a rounded rubber spout that conforms over the forehead to pour water over her head, a set of mesh bags for the tub, LOTS of special ordered tubby toys, and a Zoo Family Membership. 

A couple careful tastes ...

... and she decided it was very good.

Some of Sofia's cousins and friends. She loves being around kids.

A first birthday party success + a special announcement. At the end of the party, family & friends were gathered for a large group photo. As everyone was smiling and ready for the picture, Mariah said, "1, 2, 3, WE'RE PREGNANT!" Caught on video. 

Fernando

Can you hear the drums Fernando
I remember long ago another starry night like this

In the firelight Fernando
You were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar


I could hear the distant drums
And sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar



They were closer now Fernando

Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was so afraid Fernando
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die
And I'm not ashamed to say
The roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry

There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando

Be still my heart! Breathless and exhilarating, when Cher sang Fernando to Andy Garcia, I fell in love to their lost love, found again. 

Fireworks bursting in the air was beautiful tribute to the crescendo of two hearts reconnecting and I cannot hear enough of this song. 

Mamma Mia, wow! What a movie! We laughed, we cried, and we fell in love.