Aha! Moment

Last night was the final night of my TrueNorth, From Success to Significance study and last week was my Aha! moment.

In my quest for significance in life I wanted a defining moment so significant that it was in black and white, not a general blur of I already know this about myself.

We took four different types of assessments: Personality (DISC), Spiritual Gifts, APEST, and the Your Unique Design (used by NASA). Each assessment produced reports at length reflecting strengths/weaknesses that I was already familiar with as well as insights I really hadn't considered, but was still all too familiar with.

Writing a work study each week from each assessment pulled out insights and profile patterns to help each of us understand how we are wired, our strengths, our natural abilities for our roles in life, what energizes us as individuals, causes we are passionate about, and what excites us.

Each week I took my assessments, agreed and often pondered the results.

Last week we pulled information even further in our final work study. We pulled the information even further from our former work studies to fine-tune it into a personal mission statement in life as we asked ourselves, "How can you make the most significant difference for God in your lifetime?" What is my purpose behind every unique way I have been created.

Going into my fifth week, my answer was still a blur. Specific questions pulled from specific reports, pulling out the "who are you and what makes you tick in life" questions like a funnel into magical answer inspired my personal mission statement:

To lead, inspire, and guide impoverished teen moms

and single moms to tear down barriers that hinder their own

 significance and success in life. 

 

My Aha! moment came when pulling this information from many reports, writing it down, the words did show themselves in black and white and I realized that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

 

You see, I began my first day on my new job the very day I wrote this mission statement. I am a personal assistant to a woman who is starting a new group home for girls. Once this is up and running we will be starting a group home for pregnant teen moms.

 

I was jumping up and down inside!!  I couldn't wait to share my revelation with David, but I told him it needed to be a face-to-face conversation.  He came over first thing in the morning. 

 

No story ever goes quickly with me, really. Many details are needed to not only paint a picture, but to color it in completely.  I work my way up to the crescendo of my revelation when he looks at me and says, "That's what I just told you last week!"

 

In fairness, he observed these details and stated his personal assessment (in much more detail than he readily admits to) when I told him about my new job; however, I needed to come to the realization with all these assessments shaken up, pressed down, and poured into one very specific sentence that puts me on the path in life for my purpose.

 

When I began my quest for significance over six months ago, I meant it. It wasn't a whim. It was an act of faith with no concrete evidence in sight that my quest would have an answer and I would learn more about myself than I already knew.

 

In my quest for significance, I don't believe for a second that it was coincidence that the evening I had my Aha! moment in life was the very day I began in the very position that aligns with my purpose. It was divine confirmation.

 

Where I am now may be for a lifetime or for only a season, but I am on my path of purpose and my TrueNorth.

 

For if you try to reach the geographic

North Pole known as true north,

from anywhere in the world

with only a compass,

you will no doubt fail.

For a compass will only lead

you to magnetic north.

 

You must continually stop,

assess where you are,

seek wise counsel,

and recalculate TrueNorth.

 

Just as in life.

                                                                                                 - TrueNorth RT



 

 

 

"Hi, Dawn!"

My last day at home is everything typical. The sun is shining, my windows are open on this brisk autumn day and my phone rings ... it's the middle school.

Brooke's new segway into conversation, "Hi mom, it's me. Are you home?" Quickly I assess this is a take-it or leave-it situation. She asks for Tums because her stomach is upset and I agree to deliver her request on the grounds that her stomach was really bothering her yesterday.

The new middle school security process is when you walk up you press the button and an automated reply states for you to state your name and reason for coming to the school.

Listening to the memorized instructions I wait for the prompt to speak ... "Hi, Dawn! Come on in."

That would be the office staff who knows me as well as the clinic.

I smile and ask if there are by chance any other parents that visit as often as I? Chris, the main office secretary smiles, waits a few seconds [I appreciate the careful thought she is about to share] sighs and she says, "Yes, there are some that visit daily." Whew!

Feeling momentarily better I shared today is my last day at home and Chris was openly happy for me as well as the clinic secretary who knows me well now, too.

That was my segway into sharing with both of them that tomorrow I begin a new job and with that there are new rules for Brooke. Please do not call me unless she is having a near-death experience.

They both laugh, but totally get it.

They are both moms and my advocates when it comes to handling my little frequent flyer drama queen.

The clinic secretary says, "Hey, I was looking in your account and see that Mariah is your daughter, I hadn't made the connection until now. I loved Mariah!"  Credibility eases into my bones. Yes, I have successfully raised one child who isn't near the maintenance as this one.

What would my last day at home be without a visit to the middle school?

"Hi, Dawn!" The realization that I have crossed over the healthy boundary of school visits.

Artificial, Man-made Pleasures

A beautiful autumn day, a perfect day for hiking, and we came to two signs in our path. Easy. Difficult.

As a courtesy, he asked which I prefer. Taking the path least taken makes the best adventures and quite honestly, there isn't much about either of our personalities that would choose the path that said Easy.

Twenty minutes or so before, we came to a bridge with water trickling over a slate waterbed. I wanted to see if the rest of the waterbed was as beautiful as our current view, so we get off the path and walk up the slate and rock waterbed to see where it would take us.

Less than a millisecond and I was down and sliding. A giant boulder damp with green moss was like walking on ice going downhill. I slipped, slid, until I stopped ankle deep in the water.

Because the rock was covered in damp moss, I couldn't move to get up off the slippery boulder, and my mind was in a bit of a panic thinking of the water snakes that could potentially be slithering after my ankle.

Snap. Snap. Snap. I look up hearing his laughter to find he is taking pictures of me, capturing this moment.

Laughing, he says, "Didn't I tell you not to walk where it's green?" A short time later he says, "Do you always fall when your hiking or is it only with me?"  Quite honestly, I don't ever remember falling when hiking. I do believe I have fallen every single time "we" have gone hiking though.

We get back on the path and came within, I'm guessing 20 feet of two does. Clearly unafraid of us and the approaching hikers, gracefully walking down the steep leaf covered hill, never losing footing, we stood there and watched in fascination.

We saw a giant waterfall, trickling slate waterbeds, crossed bridges, and climbed between boulders on a path of bright red leaves from the almost empty tree beside it.

We chose the Difficult path for most adventure, because that is the nature of our relationship. We choose nature over artificial, man-made pleasures respecting and admiring beauty. And we snap a lot of pictures along the way to document our journey together, laughs, and memories.

Today is my last day of being at home. Tomorrow, I very jokingly say that I am joining the working-class, the mere commoners who work for a living. These last four months off have been a treasure.

I've enjoyed every single day my windows have been open to sunshine and fresh air. I've enjoyed the gift of time. Time with my girls. Time with David. Time for myself. Time at home when my girls needed me.

Reflecting back ... I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Off to Work I Go

A friend called me over a month ago and said she had just walked out of a business with a job opportunity that I was absolutely perfect for.

It is a personal assistant position for an entrepreneur who is just about to open a new group home for girls. Once this is up and running she wants to open a group home for young mothers as a place to live at during their pregnancy and afterwards to help them and teach them how to care for themselves and their babies.

Passionate about advocating for women and children, this definitely falls under significance to me.

With generous community donations for children, I will seek and find children who don't have and play a role in providing for them through planning, organizing, and managing events, buying gifts, and hosting holidays and celebrations in their honor because that is her passion.

I will play a role in summer camp programs, mentor programs for young girls at-risk to a warm and loving home for girls in need.

Timing is everything and David pointed out to me that all these months that I have searched for job opportunities daily, I was home when I needed to be. And, this job found me.

Off to work I go next week and I am ready!

In the Midst of a Rainy Day

Brooke is an event coordinator by nature and comes by it very naturally, it's in her DNA. I have a history of pulling off and hosting extremely successful professional events that I am most proud of.

Yesterday, was a bit different and completely blindsiding ...

In the midst of a rainy, pretty crappy day, Brooke decides she wants to host a bonfire party all-inclusive with homemade party invitations. In preparation she drags the tarp out of the shed and covers the needed wood. This was after she hosted an outdoor picnic yesterday for the neighbor kids to impress them with her lunch preparing skills and our household goodies (ice cream cake, all of our Sam's Club size honey wheat pretzels and Amish country very fluffy & plump sugar cookies and rice krispy treats) I had purchased only 1-1/2 days prior.  I was livid!

I like to have fun and different things in the house to snack on for my family. I don't like spending a small fortune and it not lasting a reasonable amount of time.

It was just one of those days from the start of the day nothing went well.

When I realized all the food had been devoured, my anger had piqued, and I did not filter my words.

Then, imagine my surprise, in the midst of a rainy day, with no food left in my house [even the ice tea pitcher was almost empty] a stranger walks up my driveway.

I'm thinking he must be here to pick up one of the neighbor kids. Oh no, he was here for the party. He had received a "Meet the Neighbors" party invitation and he lives on the next street over.

Brooke thought it would be good for me to meet the neighborhood, but didn't bother to tell me she had.

There are no words. Well, there are no nice words that come to mind as my brain is exploding in frustration. I did my best to color in the picture on every level how this was not a good idea. She still didn't get it.

I would like to protest school being closed today for Columbus Day.

My Complete True Love

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.

                                                                                       - 1 Corinthians 13:13

 

He walked in the door and took my breath away, "WOW!" My gosh he was handsome in a dressy new shirt I hadn't seen before. We go out to a lively and fun restaurant for dinner when I mention to the waitress that it is his birthday and my 1st time celebrating it with him ... [much to his cringe] yes, please gather the staff for a birthday song.

 

I had the joy of celebrating my first birthday with David.

 

Celebrating his life, a growing best friendship, and everything amazing that he is to me. He is my every hearts desire, my every wish upon a star, my every birthday candle wish, my million prayers that have gone up to Heaven for decades, and my every detail in a perfect complete package that God heard. He is my complete true love.

 

To hear his words as his heart shares he has fallen in love with me in ways he has never known and to hear heartfelt  "I love you's" come from his lips as he lets me know what I mean in his life ... let's just say, there were angels singing in Heaven.

 

Happy birthday, DF, I love you with all my heart.

 

xoxo

 

 

Gentle Reminders Daily

When I walked away from my job in June, my intention was to enjoy two weeks off then aggressively pursue what comes next. Four months later, I am still absolutely confident in my decision although at times not having an income coming in is stressful.

Being confident in my decision is my comfort, being home during this period when my girls have really needed me is my gentle reminder that everything happens for a purpose and I am where I am supposed to be. It reminds me of the mother turtle dove who patiently sat on her nest during storms watching life happen for everyone else, while keeping watch over her eggs that would soon hatch.

In my frustrations, which is often every single person who asks how the job search is going. If a person is not working, stop asking the obvious. The answer hasn't changed if I am not saying, I'm starting a new job. 

As head of the household and the only provider, this is between God and I and I am confident there is a bigger plan and purpose.

There is a common theme that has been presenting itself lately. Well, daily ...

If God made everything happen right away, or whenever we wanted it to happen, it wouldn’t require anything of us. We would miss the opportunity to grow because we grow in the difficult times. We grow when our faith is being stretched, when we have to believe when we don’t see any reason to believe, when we stay in faith when our mind is telling us we’re wasting our time, when we give God praise but we really feel like complaining. That’s passing the test. When you do that every day, your faith is not only increasing, your character is not only being developed, but you are one day closer to seeing the promise come to pass.                   
          

Today, don’t give up on a promise just because you’ve been waiting a long time. Dig your heels in. Put on a new attitude. God is saying, “Every promise I’ve spoken over you, every dream I’ve placed in your spirit, even the secret petitions of your heart, the dreams you haven’t told anyone about, I still have every intention of bringing them to pass.”  -Joel Osteen

It is the common theme of things don't happen on our timeline. It's so easy to have faith when life if easy, but how do you react when life gets really uncomfortable?  Do you take matters into your own hands and control the situation?  Fortunately, I have an overabundance of faith and trust in God and I do believe my season of waiting patiently is going to reaps many rewards. It may not be financial rewards, I am holding out for significance.

My faith has been proven stronger as everyone else seems to be in panic and I am not.  I get frustrated, yes.

In my quest for more out of life, I am getting gentle reminders daily to stay calm, there is a much bigger reason for this season. And quite honestly, I'd rather be here than stuck in a safe financial place unhappy.

Especially Flirty

I am always happiest in the groove of an established relationship. I love all things that have become the foundation of our routine and familiar life together. 

Even though we stay in close communication with each other throughout the day and see each other every day, today was a bit more fun and flirty and I don't know why.

He often gets this ornery glint of mischief in his eyes to match his very sexy smile. Sitting across the table from me, every time I looked at him his eyes were sparkling in orneriness.

I happen to love that look.

Today was especially flirty and I love these moments where we are fun and playful then he pulls me into his arms.

DISC Classic Assessment

The DISC Classic personality assessment results are in and *ouch* sometimes the truth is interesting to read. As usual, I laugh reading through the positive and negative aspects of my personality. 

I am fully aware of my personality that I am beautifully and uniquely made, God says so.

The personality assessment is part of the TrueNorth study From Success to Significance to define our spiritual gifts inventory (#1 - Administration, #2 - Faith), combined with our unique behavior styles (high Dominant, Influencer), and top gifts in impacting people (Apostle) for kingdom effectiveness.

How do I take my answers from these three avenues and make the most significant difference for God in the second half of my lifetime?

This is what I've learned so far after two weeks and I still have four more full-of-information weeks to go.

This is good stuff! If you ever get a chance to take this study, I highly encourage you.

You were made for a very specific reason, for a specific purpose. How do you know if you are on the best path for your life if you don't understand who you are and the gifts God gave you for His purpose?

This study helps identify your unique design and apply it to find the most significance in life after success has happened but where is the significance you really crave?

For if you try to reach the geographic

North Pole known as true north,

from anywhere in the world

with only a compass,

you will no doubt fail.

For a compass will only lead you to magnetic north.

 

You must continually stop,

assess where you are,

seek wise counsel,

and recalculate TrueNorth.

 

Just as in life.

                                         - True North, RT



Tragedies and Triumphs

A hodge-podge of pills last week landed my daughter a week in the hospital. Suicidal.

Her dad's suicide + depression & anxiety + being the awful age of 13 = a dangerous recipe for disaster.

I'm not even certain if a candid post is appropriate, but I do believe that openness and candidness shows that while other areas in my life may be better than I ever dreamed, real life happens.

Last night I was running late to my Success to Significance study when I slipped in to the table closest to the door to not disrupt the others. In group discussion we were covering positive life experiences then came to another question, "What areas of your life do you feel are out of balance?"

I can be honest and transparent or I can give a safe answer. I chose honesty.

"I just picked my daughter up today from the hospital, she tried to overdose last Wednesday morning. The area where my life is out of balance is my little girl who is hurting desperately from her father's suicide and struggling in ways that I alone cannot help her. That makes me feel out of balance."

Being exactly where I was supposed to be ... the gentleman at my table got tears in his eyes and said, "When my daughter was 13 years old, she tried to commit suicide and spent 1/2 of that year in a psychiatric hospital, I understand how scary that is." The woman sitting next to me took a deep breath and said, "When I was young I tried to kill myself."  I wasn't alone at all at this fork in the road place in my life. My new friends could relate in ways I had not imagined. It was their openness and sharing with me was a reminder that nobody escapes this life without troubles.

I knew my running late and slipping into this table was God intervention.

There I sat among a group of Christians who absolutely look as if their life is together while they are searching for significance after success in life. To find out in the midst of their successes, I was among peers that understood more than I ever dreamed.

The woman who tried to commit suicide shared her pain then and understood my daughter. With tears in her eyes she hugged me before I left and said she would be praying for my little girl.

Life happens. Some seasons are calm, some seasons storms will rage. Some seasons are mixed with tragedies and triumphs all at once and that is my season.

The most beautiful part of my day beyond sitting down at the table where I was meant to sit was later when I came home and David stopped by to see Brooke.

We were sitting at the dining room table just talking, the three of us. He was talking to Brooke when she became emotional and walked away into her room. He followed her into her room knowing she was upset and crying to comfort her and finish what he needed to say.

I stood in the doorway watching the scene of this beautiful man who has stepped into our lives and into our hearts. Hugging my hurting little girl until she settled down. I didn't say a word.

My daughter desperately misses her own daddy's affections.

He pulls back to softly talk to her letting her know how important she is to everyone and how much she is loved, his arms never unlock in their embrace. Unrushed, he talks and she listens, then puts her cheek against his chest and stands there in his embrace.

In the midst of a lot going on, beautiful moments continue to happen.