Heartbeat

Today, I get to hear my grand baby's heartbeat. My very first experience of connection with my grandchild within my daughter's womb and I am breathless in anticipation.

Perfectly and wonderfully made, its little details are being knit together.

Endless combinations of personality and details often entertain my mind, yet in my dreams I have met and kissed this little one.

A new generation already blessed by being born into a family of faith and tremendous love, life is a gift. And suddenly, when I feel as if I learned how much my heart can hold, God is giving me a grandchild.

In only hours, I get to hear this little ones heartbeat that will become my very own.

i-Life or Real Life?

Do you ever wish you could get back the time in your day spent on an iphone or a computer and wish you had spent the time doing something you really enjoy?

At the end of a day if we could total up the minutes and perhaps hours spent looking at a piece of hardware concerned we may have missed something, truth be told, we missed nothing of importance.

A piece of hardware with no pulse often gets more time and attention than what is truly important to us.

A time-filler, social and easy has taken over.

What would you do in the mornings if there wasn't an iphone? Would your morning routine look very different?

I have a growing dissatisfaction of what is really important to me surprisingly set aside due to an i-life that doesn't fulfill anything significant.

If I had to make a list of a couple things really important to me, hobbies or interests, I am shocked how set aside they are due to "not enough" time in the day.

Pruning is a refreshing season. Cutting off dead branches that add nothing and/or detract from what is really important in my life is like cleaning out a house. You think you need to hold onto something because what if you may need it one day. Then you decide to clean out closets, cupboards and the garage and you just feel clean and refreshed and a huge sense of relief when it is done.

Why don't we do that with the junk that fills our i-life that detracts our hearts desires and happiness in real life?

Sometimes we need to prune where empty time is spent. Sometimes we need to prune what and who isn't important that takes up seconds and minutes and perhaps totaling hours in a day. Sometimes you have to unfollow people in real life.

Reaching for a piece of hardware first thing every morning, family and friends together with their iphone in hand afraid to miss something, look around you in even a restaurant. Lost time looking at hardware that has slowly replaced real people, once loved hobbies, our hearts interests and priorities has taken over in a way that makes me think of the walking dead.

I want 2017 to be filled with all things truly important. To really be in the moment, real life important stuff.

Windows Open in January!

I predict flowers in March. I've been saying this, but words can be forgotten unless it's time & date stamped.

It has been an unusual January in Ohio. Typically, the most bitter cold month of the year; however, temperatures have been averaging mid 40's through the 50's and yesterday we hit low 60's and sunshine!!

I threw open all the windows for fresh air all day. It was wonderful!

Cleaned my house to freshen my home from winter and sat in the sunshine reading a book. 

It smells like spring with all the rain we are having and birds chirping. A taste of what is coming.

Inauguration of Trump

A migraine, vertigo and the inability to keep down water kept me on the chaise watching the inauguration of Trump the entire day.

It takes a lot to slow me down, but the timing was perfect.

I wanted to watch the inauguration every step of the way and if there was one day to be completely out of commission, I am grateful for perfect timing of absolute miserable circumstances to have an excuse to spend the day watching the television and welcoming Trump as President of the United States.

I wanted to watch to because I wanted to make sure it actually happened. Excited to see what he will to do make America great again!

The entire day I watched this I couldn't help but think Melania's feet had to be killing her after the entire day spent in heels and walking in that parade! Elegant and graceful in her Jackie O-esque Ralph Lauren ensemble and gloves, she truly has style and class.

Finding anything positive about an incapacitating migraine and vertigo was being able to watch this inauguration and events all day and learning Excedrin Migraine is a near miracle worker.

In Breathless Anticipation

My grand baby is 11 weeks developing in my daughter's womb. Loved and covered in prayer, the anticipation of my grand baby's arrival is extraordinary! 

I had a wonderful relationship with both my grandmothers. One that transcended the adoring grandmotherly type, to much time spent, hearts shared, DNA revealed that history explained, to dear friendships.

Remembering fondly and knowing how special this relationship is, I simply cannot wait to take all I know and make it more perfect for my grand baby.

It is odd to love someone so much and not even know its gender, its sweet little face, its unique little personality, its heart, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and its own very special purpose.

I will be right there present from the very beginning, loving, nurturing, and with my very own special extraordinary relationship that is different from Mariah & Jeremy.

I am in breathless anticipation of that first moment when I meet this little bundle of joy. Those first seconds my eyes get to see, my hands get to embrace, and to kiss and breathe in this baby, a perfect extension and new generation of my own daughter and son-in-law.

I am in breathless anticipation of this bond and relationship I cannot wait to have with my grandchild.

Showers of Blessings

Showers of blessings, God in control.

If you don't feel God's presence or sense His hand at work today, you are not seeing.

If you haven't heard God speak to you, you are doing all the talking and not listening.

The busyness of life drowns out God as we work like busy bees and fill our days with activity, but there are blessings from God that He does so much better than us in our own powers and efforts.

He knows. He knit us together. He remembers what is most important to us when we sometimes forget and life becomes loud.

I am a beautiful mess.

It is a perfect place of peace and seeing and hearing God.

He is the sunshine and soft rain every flower needs to thrive.

A Bucket of Holes

For months the words "a bucket of holes" has come to mind. Social media makes this term most obvious.

Selfie-junkies show desperation for attention.

Confidence does not require countless posts of your face from different angles for "friends" to "like" and comment. Empty people starving for attention. Desperation. A bucket of holes.

Gathering "friends" on Facebook, anyone, everyone. No boundaries. It isn't real. The click of the "friend" request, a simple segue peaking into someones life you ought not to be watching. A seed planted. Curiosity. A bucket of holes.

There are social media sites I will not participate on. How much attention do you need? How much approval from people who really don't matter is enough? A void in their life they are trying to fill. A bucket of holes.

Too much time is spent on technology.

Too much time is spent seeking attention and approval.

Too much time is spent looking outward instead of upward, inward, and right beside you.

A bucket of holes is never filled.

This theme is made more obvious to me and with heightened awareness I really look at others differently. The broken and desperate versus the confident, the steadfast and wise.

I've been aware of this recurring theme for months and just yesterday a still small voice echo the term, "broken cisterns."

Broken cisterns? I am searching my memory bank, where did I hear this? I believe this is biblical.

A bucket of holes, broken cisterns. There has to be a connection here.

I've been praying for weeks to hear God's voice, this is what I hear. Not the divine direction I was hoping, but perhaps what I need to be made most aware of.

For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me,

the fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, 

broken cisterns, that can hold no water. 

- Jeremiah 2:13

Doing some research I found this wealth of information on broken cisterns.

https://www.growingchristians.org/devotions/broken-cisterns/

What I found was a direct parallel. A theme that presented itself in heightened awareness for months, a still small voice, and a direct parallel. The bottom photo found 20 minutes after I posted the top photo. 

Awareness is a tool to spot out true character, integrity, wisdom and hero. 

Hello Gorgeous!

There is something about walking into Victoria's Secret what whispers, "hello gorgeous!"

I walked in on a quest, searching for a specific silky piece. Having a solid idea of what I wanted, I spoke with V.S. staff and she suggested I wait to see their spring collection.

Then, I pass a selection that caught my attention. Size XS. The girl said she would check in the back to see if there were other sizes.

What she came out with, was entirely different. She presented perfection! She came out with a piece they didn't have on display in the store. Breathtaking and beautiful, the color different than I've ever wore, details more than I was aware of, exquisitely perfect! There was only one and it was my size.

If there was divine intervention when it comes to Victoria Secret selections, this was it.

New pieces. New scents. New season.

Hello 2017.

Brothers

The first couple of weeks we had Max were awful.

Max is the sweetest little purr-box fur ball. Pick him up and he purrs. Sweet and cuddly, Finn hated him.

Finn stalked him. Beat on him. Marked his territory several times in the house and nearly unraveled my nerves. Many times I had to lock him in a room in a time out because he was being so mean.

Then ... it stopped.

At two weeks Finn just quit.

I remember the day Brooke Facetime'd me saying, "Shhhhh ... look!" The boys were laying in a chair together and Finn was cleaning Max. I was shocked. Finn took on a paternal role with Max watching him and cleaning him.

We have had Max for two months now, he is four months old. Last week he spent two days at the vets getting neutered and front claws removed. Finn was lost without Max.

Brooke came home from school and Finn was crying.

Sweet Max came home and they have played and cuddled since.

Finn needed Max and they make the two cutest brothers.

New Season. Chapter One.

New season.

        New year.

               Chapter one.

Life is transitioning and both of my feet are now in the beginning of a new season, not just the new year. 

I feel the change in myself more so than the change in the seasons of life that forever changes. 

The old me has learned many life lessons and the new me will make mistakes because we are imperfect this side of heaven, but I always, always give everything in life my very best. And, I believe that heart and mindset, seen by God, allows the blessings and favor to fall like a soft rain and transforms our hearts and minds.

That's where I am at. 

In the beginning of a new season and a new year.

Chapter one. 

 

2017, I Welcome You!

Thank you, God! I am a numbers person and I do not like the number 6 and I didn't like 2016.

My favorite number are 7 and 8. You know what that means? 2017 and 2018.

My Mariah's heart bursting in gratefulness acknowledging what a wonderful year she has had and she's happy. What more can a mom want.

My Brooke spending New Year's Eve with Alex at his home with his family had her in nervous excitement all day. I was proud of her when she asked on her own what she could bring, she said she wouldn't show up without a dish. She went to the store, bought and baked brownies. You see, this was her first New Year's Eve out and she couldn't wait for her first New Year's Eve kiss. She prepared herself all day.

Me, I prayed for a wonderful New Year's Eve.

Saying goodbye to 2016 and welcoming 2017 was really important to me.

I slipped into a bath with a wonderful bath bomb Mariah & Jeremy bought me. A candle, a dish of chocolates and a sweet tea ... the bath bomb fizzed into a wonderful aroma leaving flower petals floating on the water.

It's fun to prepare for a date.

Fresh paint on my nails, an off the shoulder top with strappy high heels, jewelry that sparkles, it was just some wild curls that couldn't be contained and I had to go with an up hair style.

David arrived looking handsome in his sexy jeans and a new white shirt, watch and shoes matching. He is so handsome.

We decided to stop for a beverage before dinner. I enjoyed a beautiful presentation of Christmas Sangria and he loved his Salted Caramel Mocha Martini with a caramel and pretzel rim. It really was delicious.

We went to our favorite local restaurant for sushi. The most perfect bites of heaven, to this day I believe it is quite possibly my favorite food. Our most favorite.

Flirty and affectionate is a chemistry reaction to wonderful. I was expecting fireworks at home and it turns out it was an evening filled with spontaneity.

The evening ahead of us, we stopped at a local sports bar to catch part of the OSU game and played a few games of pool. 

There is something about watching his intensity of breaking the rack that I find intoxicating ...

We came home and started watching a new series, Nashville. We like to have a go to show to watch during winter months when it is cold and dark early and we both like doing marathons when there is nothing going on.

Playing with Finn & Max, watching the ball drop and sipping wine, I am grateful for love. For choosing love in my most perfect place, my lips against his welcoming 2017.