Monday, December 30, 2013

Farewell 2013

Farewell 2013, I am so glad to see you go.

Going into this year, the number 13 alone felt jinxed. It was definitely the year of worst employment ever for me, an emotional year for my Mariah that we were told so many times "the end was here" for her dad who is still alive, and my Brooke. The ongoing saga of the path of destruction from her dads suicide and my keeping her safe from herself.

In the midst of turmoil a *miracle* happened ... I fell in love.

Love is such a powerful emotion that it became my balance when storms continued to hit hard. Love became my foundation of hope for when calm eventually restores in my life.

I want to shake off 2013 and will be relieved when the ball is dropping this New Years Eve.

Watching Times Square in all it's glory as the clock strikes the magic hour of midnight, the world kisses one another, and bids farewell to 2013 in hope for 2014.

Godspeed.








Saturday, December 28, 2013

Husband To the Husbandless

A couple of months ago, the day I ended my True North study was the very same day I began my new job at a group home foundation for girls, that had no girls. I was absolutely certain that was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I quit December 22nd.

The foundation was illegitimate.

As much as I knew that was exactly where I was supposed to be with every sign under heaven, I still believe it.

It was a test of character, integrity, and values for me and along the way I made a wonderful new friend, Lauri. I believe I needed her as much as maybe she needed me.

There I was two days before Christmas unemployed, which means no money coming in whatsoever.

I felt refreshed and saved getting out of there as if it were my own special Christmas gift; yet, there is a certain blend of uncertainty, fear, and faith.

God is often referred to as the husband to the husbandless. Many times in my life when I knew I had nothing left of myself and lost my passion to move mountains I have handed situations over to God and said as plain and clearly as He was standing in front of me in my home, "This is yours, please handle it."

Let me share with you two things that have happened that makes me smile and look to heaven ... taking the stuff out of my old purse to put into my new Brighton purse on Christmas day, I found a 1-week paycheck I had forgotten to cash. I'm not sure how I forgot that, but it buys me a month without worry.

The day after Christmas, there was one piece of mail in my mailbox. It was a letter from a doctors office that initially looked as if I owed $35.00 on an appointment from over two years ago. I was instantly aggravated, because I never leave bills unpaid.  Re-reading it, it was a letter stating I had unclaimed funds of $35.00 they owe me.

This is not me "testing" God and I don't recommend it. This is me in a very honest place that I cannot do alone and handing to Him.

I don't undertand why certain things happen along the way in life.

Brooke continues to push boundaries farther than ever dreamed and I can only become more open as a mom to what is tough love when chaos fills my home and I cannot trust her out of my sight.

I am thankful for Christmas. So many times I was at my wits end between my job and Brooke that I imagined God doing the peace symbol with His hands pointing to His eyes saying, "Keep your eyes on Me. Focus on Me." And I did.

I made Christmas everything that it was with my eyes on Jesus. Knowing that while life isn't perfect on earth, I will have my happily ever after only because of Him. No matter what happens with Brooke by her choices in life, she will have happily ever after because of her faith in God. She will face unlimited consequences, but her name/salvation cannot be erased in God's holy book.

So much needs to happen right now and I don't know how things will work out, but I know my God, and I know they always do.


Friday, December 27, 2013

Christmas Balance Restored

In the midst of the blur of Christmas hustle-n-bustle I knew I needed to find my balance.

Days on end of my teenagers excited to be off of school for a 2-week winter break wanting to run and have fun like human tornadoes in my home and eating everything in site, the finishing touches of baking and wrapping, Christmas Eve preparation and services, little sleep, Christmas morning excitement of gifts being opened, this years new annual tradition of The Great Christmas Scavenger Hunt racing all over town for clues and calling Grammy & Papa in Florida including them, family time together, a family movie, and Christmas dinner in my home is Christmas accomplished and exhausting.

Months of preparation and planning, two whirlwind days, and I needed to slow down after Christmas.

My rejuvenation and balance is when my home is clean and I get needed quiet time. First things first, get my home clean and in order so the rest of my life falls in place.

December 26th - organize and put away Christmas presents, wash floors, clean out the frig, clean my home.

How many more days will be girls be home on winter break? :)

Mariah at her dads. I made arrangements with Debbie to take Brooke for a few hours. Calm is being restored.

My home is back together, the planets in alignment, I'm ready.

In swoops David ... we get in the car and head north. We are not sure to where, no destination in mind, but someplace out of town and end up in Cleveland for lunch.

Knowing we have hours alone, we drive back home to finish watching the last several episodes of season one of Boardwalk Empire.

Snuggled on the couch for hours on end, cuddle time with Sammy Blue, a fire in the fireplace, the Christmas lights glowing, and stopping in between for a quiet dinner with just the two of us.

Balance restored.



Tuesday, December 24, 2013

In Full Celebration!

I woke up this morning to snow-covered everything, hooray for a white Christmas!

Christmas Eve is here which puts Christmas in full celebration. There is *magic* and *fairy dust* in my heart. I'm ready.

Ready to pull off a Christmas Eve and Christmas day production in our home with memories I hope my daughters look back, remember fondly, and recreate for their families one day.

Everything looks the same year after year. Our decorations I've often thought I should change for change-sake, but continue to use because they are ours and a warm, familiar memory.

Yet nothing is the same. This is our 1st Christmas with David, the perfect addition to our family. Sammy Blue as the sweetest littlest addition to our family. Our 1st Christmas without Grammy & Papa, snowbirds, who headed south early. My brother and I will be changing Christmas day tradition for our kids this year.

Life continues to change, yet our Christmas traditions remain the same.

Today will consist of running to the store early to pick up country-style ribs for a different kind of Christmas dinner tomorrow, all-inclusive with cheddar parmesan biscuits, mashed potatoes, and sweet corn. Making chocolates and a birthday cake. Going to my church for an early Christmas Eve service this afternoon by myself, then my brothers church for their evening Christmas Eve service with family.

I want to bask in praise and worship today being amongst Christians celebrating the birth of Jesus. 

Merry Christmas Eve

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Romance of Christmas

It is two days before Christmas and I feel the crescendo of the romance of Christmas building.

The presents are wrapped. Three gifts each.

David and I made Christmas cookies for the 1st time together.  Sugar cookies with two cups of hot cocoa stirred with candy canes and Christmas music filling the air to set the baking mood. We made a mess and I laughed when he asked to smell the cookie dough then his surprise when he presented me the perfect opportunity into shoving it in his face. Bet he doesn't ask that again!

Christmas Sunday just yesterday. Traditional Christmas hymns sung in church.

The Christmas tree is often the only light in the room with its soft glow projecting celebration in warm ambiance.

The final touches complete and we are expecting snow for Christmas.

Planning. Much thought. Careful preparation.

Our "Sparkle Box" sits beside the glowing tree with our acts of kindness as our gift to Jesus on his birthday.

No matter what is happening ... the romance of Christmas takes my focus off of all the less than perfects in my life and projects it on the birth of Jesus and my God guaranteeing me my happily ever after.

I am keeping my eyes on Him and celebrating His birthday the best way I can by keeping the birth of Jesus the focus of Christmas in our home.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Then ...

Today I was full of patience and kind to all.

I was soft spoken, kind-hearted, chose my words carefully, granting mercy and grace to everyone who crossed my path.

I forgave.

Was full of peace.

And love.

Then ... I got out of bed.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Pork Chop

Maybe it's the way he counts calories, maximizing caloric intake eating healthy options versus wasting calories on junk food or the fact that he hasn't eaten at a fast food restaurant in over two years. Or the way he prefers to go to bed hungry versus eating too late.

He claims he hasn't gained a 1/2 a pound in four years; yet, he has gained six pounds since he met me.

Military length hair cut, groomed to perfection.

Six-pack abs. Ripped-tone body.

My favorite is when he wears a t-shirt and the soft cotton material stretches across his back muscles, but hangs loosely down the middle of his back and loose around his trim waist. His arms ripped and strong with a tattoo circling his upper arm, a splash of edginess, outlining his muscles that go all the way down to his strong, muscular hands. *sigh*

I'm not kidding at all when I say he looks like a Calvin Klein model, splashed with a few tattoos.

At 41, his body looks 21.

In all things ridiculous, I call him pork chop.

I think how it happened was ... he was probably making remarks about the portion-sizes I put on his plate for dinner stating that he has gained three pounds, but that he would lose it in two days by watching what he eats. That comment in itself is annoying!

Quite possibly I was probably touching him with my hand over his six-pack abs and he was saying something preposterous like he was getting fat, and I referred to him as, "Pork Chop."  To match his absurd comment.

Oh my gosh, I think that caught him off guard, but the name stuck and he now refers to himself in third-person for example, "No, Pork Chop does not need any more cookies", etc.

I love this handsome boy. I love his heart, our friendship, the bzillion ways he makes my life richer and more fulfilled every single day, and this relationship that we have both put everything into.

I love laughing with him over the silly things and in all things ridiculous, I love the utterly foolish nickname Pork Chop that teasingly and loving really means you are magnificently and beautifully made.










Saturday, December 14, 2013

A Picturesque Christmasy Day

It's a winter wonderland outside and the snow is coming down in giant soft snowflakes. The roads are covered in snow [not really safe for driving], I'm certain the stores are packed with Christmas shoppers, and I am nestled in my house on a picturesque Christmasy day.

Thank you Lifetime Channel for hosting one Christmas movie after another. My tree is lit, my home decorated, and plenty of holiday sweets to complement a hot pot of coffee.

Mariah is off having fun with girlfriends, Brooke is playing out in the snow, David is shopping, and Sammy Blue is sleeping peacefully. I'm cherishing all things quiet.

I am rich.

I have everything that money cannot buy ... my family, good health, a heart so full of love, a comfortable and warm home, and food we enjoy. Our needs are always met, our wants always attainable. I have peace, laughter, and want for nothing. I'm a very blessed girl.

My life isn't perfect, but I have learned to be more than content in most all circumstances.

Love is a choice I make and a quest that has been my driving factor in life. Happiness and gratefulness is the outlook that I focus on. Hope are my dreams tucked away safely in the compass of my heart leading me in this journey through life, and faith is my foundation for all things.

To every one who reads my blog, locally and in countries all around this world, I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

May your heart be filled with peace no matter what is going on in your life. Contentedness and a grateful heart for all you do have. Happiness and laughter. Faith in our very present God, hope in your heart, and love.

May you quiet your heart in the busyness of holiday hustle-n-bustle, keep Christmas in perspective, and remember exactly what the world is celebrating in less than two weeks, the birth of Jesus Christ.

Tuck this away in your heart ... there is one thing this Christmas you can cling to, it is the guarantee of happily ever after as long as you believe in Him.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. - John 14:6 NIV

Who is this God that sent his Son to us two thousand years ago? Who is this Jesus you must know to get to God in heaven?  Meet my God in 2014.

Merry Christmas

 

Date Night

Did you know I have the most handsome, sexy boyfriend?  I do.

So intelligent, a gentleman, charming, and fun, he looks like a Calvin Klein model dressed in Buckle. I watch him in awe, listen to him talk, and am beyond thankful he is in my life. This amazingly awesome man that I touch, kiss, and love as much as I want.

Friday night, date night, and our plans to go out and come home to "no kids" fell through.

Of course, Friday the 13th.

My sugar was dropping by 4:00 p.m., I was so hungry. Somehow, he seemed hungrier and was ready to eat his shoe.  We finally make it to a restaurant to eat around 8:00 p.m.  The waitress apologized several times for the delay in our dinner being brought out because of a holiday party and our food didn't arrive until much later.

In the midst of plans falling through, hunger, and eating much later than we are used to ... I looked at him and thought how lucky I am!

Last night he walked in the door, showered, starving, and looking like a model out of a Buckle magazine. So handsome! We went to a fun atmosphere for dinner surrounded by the hustle-n-bustle of others having a good time with good music. Later we arrived at our romantic winery, lit by candlelight, and our table by the fireplace was open.

Relax. A glass of wine in hand. Ambiance. Christmastime. Laughing and talking with the most handsome and sexy man, hopelessly in love.

Plans many not always come together perfectly, but I have my perfect.

Finding the Good

In my office my colleague, Lauri, and I were talking about who knows what, pick a topic.

This week she was trying to tell me a story and before she could get it out, she was bent over rocking in her chair wiping the tears from her eyes, and I was laughing so hard at her, I was wiping my own tears. I didn't even know what she was about to say!

We have eight hours to talk about any subject. I've learned that anything can come out of her mouth and I no longer brace myself, but value and appreciate her candid honesty, transparency, her huge heart, and our new friendship.

One day we were discussing a frustrating topic and frustration was getting the best of me when she said, "You need to find the good. You have a way about you that can find the good in anything."

That was like a reset button.

I can choose to focus on things I cannot change or I can find the good in every situation. Start listing the good things and dwell in those thoughts.

There is a purpose for everything.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Mary Did You Know

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.


In the midst of Christmas preparation, decorating, buying presents to make everyone happy Christmas morning, and enduring the holiday hustle-n-bustle, I am thinking of Mary.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?


How unprepared Mary must have felt when Gabriel appeared to her announcing God's perfect plan. The Son of God born to a virgin. So many questions she must have needed answered. So many preparations that she wished to have and needed to bring the Ultimate Gift into this world on what would become the true Christmas. Celebrated by a world for thousands of years.

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.

The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.


Her ordinary life turned most extraordinary.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.


The Perfect Plan was born on Christmas morning.

In the chaos and planning of Christmas, calm your heart and remember what Christmas morning truly was and is and make that your focus this Christmas.




Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Sammy Blue

Meet the newest member of our family, our new Ragdoll kitten, Sammy Blue.





He is the sweetest, most gentle, passive, little guy you could meet.

A tad spoiled and bit of a cry baby when not the constant center of attention.

';;;;;;;6t/h500000000plt5l,,  [Sammy's 1st post] 

He likes to walk on my laptop, drink from our cups, smell and taste everything we eat, and stays under my feet when I cook. He especially loves mommy's kisses. Daddy's ear rubbing, cuddling, toys, treats and playtime. Sleeping with Brooke and Mariah's snuggles.

We love him!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Tiffany & Co.

Ohhhhh, that blue box. You know the one ...


The turquoise/teal blue with that perfect white ribbon that shouts standard of excellence.

A large Tiffany & Co. box was delivered to where I work today and when it was opened, I was breathless with anticipation.

It was the same excitement I felt when I walked around the corner and saw the Biltmore Estate for the first time.

Every Christmas I buy myself a gift. This year, it is going to come out of this very same box that will sit under my Christmas tree until Christmas morning.

A little something for me that will make me *sigh* every day that I see it.