Double-stuffed Cookie Cake

"I'll bring cookie cake!"  I can just hear Brooke now proudly announcing to her whole class.

Brooke likes the "WOW" effect and she likes class parties. Always readily volunteering to bring the best dessert when other mothers get to bake.

What's wrong with good old fashioned homemade chocolate chip cookies? They make a home smell delicious! What they don't do however is give the wide-eyed "it's a party!" presentation with a sugar explosive taste of double-stuffed chocolate chip cookie cake, all-inclusive with sweet icing filling, and autumn leaf rings for a few lucky students.

Again, Brooke won the unspoken best dessert presentation at the class party.

Presentation is important to Brooke, a quality I fully appreciate and respect. I just wish she would stop volunteering for every class party or event; however, I guiltily admit this mom was thrilled to see a few pieces make it home!

The Reality Of It All

After an unsuccessful college tour this afternoon, I picked up the phone to call Mariah's dad and blast him about what an entitled brat we have.

The phone at his house rang and rang and rang ... he never did answer. It was during the phone ringing that reality hit me hard.

The reality of it all is I am calling a dying dad, to purge my frustrations about our daughter. He already feels guilty because he's dying, I can't imagine the day he has probably had already trapped in his own body to have me, the mother of his daughter, coming unglued.

Then, the realization that soon I won't even be able to place team-parenting phone calls to him anymore. Really I shouldn't be so selfish and be doing it now.

But I need to.

I need to be able to be a mom, be frustrated at my teenager daughter and call him to discuss a plan of action, because that's what we always used to do. Even if it was more me yelling and venting (he has the passive personality), he kind of had to listen and he did because we had a daughter together and these conversations were so few and far between.

I don't have that anymore.

Eric needs to be okay dying, knowing I will and can handle all obstacles in life when it comes to Mariah. He has to be able to trust me when he isn't here, yet I know he already does.

I need someone to be there though.

Thank you, God, that I have one that I can place a single phone call to in what I think is a calm and rationale voice, "Hey, can you talk?" A warm and immediate response, "What's wrong?" That familiarity is like a balm on my heart. Unspoken words that say it's okay, cry and tell me.

I cry. I vent. I purge every injustice and frustration without buffering my language or my thoughts until I do my own mental check winding down, did I cover my every detail? Yep. Now breathe.

My emotions uncensored and raw.

The reality of it all is I have a teen and pre-teen, soon both without dads. I can and will handle every obstacle that comes our way, but in between I claim being human and I will have my own moments and days where I need to be able to have team-parenting conversations with another.

Thank you, Jesus!

My mornings just got better.

With summer turning to autumn I'm adjusting my outdoor sunshine activities to busy indoor activities, mostly classes my gym membership offers.

This week I have found a new passion.

One of my all-time favorite television series is Will & Grace. Excellent writers, amazing casts. Karen & Jack are my favorites. This week by accident, I found Will & Grace is on television daily at 8:00 a.m. Thank you, Jesus!

I hop on my elliptical in front of the television and thus begin my new morning routine.

At a 30 degree incline and moving at a fast pace after 30 minutes, I was thrilled to see another episode of Will & Grace plays at 8:30 a.m. (Another pleasant surprise and I'm quickly calculating exactly how much time every morning I will have on the elliptical.). I'm also needing a shower! When I remember ... my Nordic elliptical machine has a fan on it. Thank you, Jesus!

Whom ever thought of a built-in fan on an elliptical is genius.

The writer's of Will & Grace, genius.

New morning routine blending favorite comedy with exercise, genius.

When things go well and life brings about pleasant surprises, in our household we often say "thank you, Jesus!"

This morning was one of those days.

The School For The Arts

Brooke took her favorite 7th grade teacher examples of her art work she likes to create at home. Her teacher was so impressed, she told Brooke later in the day that she emailed the program director at the high schools School of the Arts, which is an arts program in dance, drama, music, and visual art about Brooke!

I do take the time to appreciate my daughters teachers that make a positive impact in their lives. I find it to be the balance when I have to go up against the difficult ones.

Your email totally made my day! It means so much to me to know Brooke loves how this year is going and that she enjoys having me as a teacher. She lights up my day and I look forward to seeing her face each and every day. Thank you for raising such a kind, creative, thoughtful young lady. She is an asset to our class and to my life! :)

Also, I have encouraged Brooke to consider being part of the School for the Arts in high school. The curriculum focuses on each student's creativity and Brooke would love the smaller classes, the artistic flare, and the incredible teachers. I think it would be a perfect fit for her! If you both decide you are interested in this you can contact ***** *******, Brooke would have to apply in 8th grade then go through an interview process. Should you have more questions you can of course contact me at any time but the director of the program would be the best person to contact. Her email is ... Obviously, this is just something to think about and by no means do you two have to make a decision now. I just wanted you both to give it some thought!

Again, I thank you for your kind words and for allowing me to be a part of Brooke's life. Please let me know if you need anything at all.

Respectfully,

Mrs. *********

The School for the Arts sounds perfect for my musical, artistic and award-winning drama child.

I Am An Advocate

I am a mom; therefore, I am an advocate.

 

Ms. ******,

 

From the very beginning of this school year my daughter, Brooke, was mortified to receive a lunch detention. The principle behind the lunch detention is that she has done something wrong and gotten into trouble. She has never had a detention in life and this year alone you have given her several.

 

Brooke has explained that she didn't complete a math assignment or failed to show her work, etc. I told her not to worry about it, but detentions are very upsetting to her.

 

Daily, I hear about lunch detentions that are passed out to students as daily practice. Please feel free to contact me and Brooke can work or complete assignments at home. Lunch detentions have historically been for poor behavior and that is not the case with my daughter. Should she have poor behavior, by all means a lunch detention is fine. I do not want her to receive another lunch detention for an incomplete assignment. She is too good of a girl and a student to have constant reprimands that are not used as such a tool by other teachers.

 

Please feel free to contact me if you wish to meet in person.

 

Thank you,

Dawn

 

After sending this email, I asked Brooke after school the next day if she attended her detention. She said, "Mom, Ms. ****** walked up to the board in front of everyone and erased every students list of detentions and said there will be no more detentions, at the beginning of class. Everyone looked at each other, was a little nervous, and didn't know what to do."

 

We live in a community where our school system is rated in the Top 20 out of over 600 in the state. Still, in an excellent school system, I advocate for my daughters. I have a voice.

 

Brooke said, "She abused her control." Brooke was right and in mom-fashion I went straight to the source.

 

I intended this communication for my daughter only, but I am happy to know she respectfully took it well and extended the courtesy to the rest of the students.

 

 

 

Guilty Pleasures

Finally, someone else gets it!  My theory, turned mantra, that guilty pleasures are important in your life.

Today Dr. Oz's show was based on "Guilty Pleasures: To help you live longer." Dr. Oz said that guilty pleasures are critical to your health. That they naturally recharge you in ways that nothing else can.

So many people wear a too busy of a lifestyle and burnout as a badge of honor. Burnout is exactly that, burnout. There is nothing left of you or for anyone else when you don't replenish your own soul with things in life that you enjoy.

You cannot hope someone will come along and etch out time for you to rejuvenate and replenish. Do that for yourself! Besides nobody knows what you are secretly longing for at the moment.

I wanted princess cut diamond earrings, so I bought them. When I want fresh flowers in my kitchen, I buy them. When I want to read a book in the sunshine, enjoy sushi with a girlfriend, indulge in the richest most chocolatey dessert I can find, when I want to twirl on a dance floor listening to live music, laugh having drinks with friends, when I want to buy myself something sexy at Victorias Secret, go on a spontaneous road trip, enjoy nature, take a hot bath with candles, when I need time with my girlfriends, when I need time with a significant other, I find the time and I make it happen.

It's finding balance. Balance between responsibilities and pleasure.

Laugh. Indulge. Refreshen.

Do the little things in life you enjoy that you never make time for anymore. It's true, they will naturally recharge in ways that nothing else can.

Thank you Dr. Oz for reminding everyone that guilty pleasures are a good thing, not bad.

Ahhhh ... guilty pleasures. The very place in my mind where I want to lose myself, breathe in deeply and exhale.

Be heart smart, it's critical to your health, Dr. Oz said so!

Her Daddy's Cologne

A while back I blogged about my daughter Brooke afraid that she can no longer smell her daddy's scent on his ruby ring, her one cherished possession from him, and she fears she is forgetting him.

Tonight we she received a gift from her dad's girlfriend, Roann, who is now our family friend. She came over to visit with us and catch up on life. Opening the door to greet her, there she stood with a suitcase. I laughingly asked if she was moving in.

The suitcase was Brooke's dads and it was full of the last of the possessions Roann had of him. She is moving on in a new and happy relationship and  was ready to let go of them. An unexpected treasure for my little girl.

Brooke was excited and said she wanted to open the suitcase in privacy. After our visit came to an end, I went to see what treasures my daughter found ... pictures of her daddy, clothes, shoes, slippers, hats and a bottle of his cologne.

The olfactory sense that triggers familiarity. Now my little girl will not ever ever forget her daddy's scent.

Thank you, Roann.

My Best Friends

I want you to meet my core group of best friends.

All of my best friends have a similar qualities that they share. They are men and women of incredible strength. They are polished, professional, ready to laugh and share their hearts openly. They are honest and will not hesitate to challenge my thought process, offer a different perspective, or jump in to intervene when not asked. They are my confidantes and my friends for life, simply because they know too much! *smile*

My friends come from all walks of life, different professions and span from age 28 to 52 years old.

I can't wait for you to meet them!

In alphabetical order because I couldn't put them in order of importance ...

Charlotte - We met when we were 15 years old in high school and grew up together through our young adult years, marriage and babies. Best friends from youth hold such a special bond. She remembers who I was back then, who I am now, and the journey in between those 27 years (the 80's called and they would like their hair back!) ...

Christin - The youngest of my best friends at 28 years old, we met a couple years ago when we worked in corporate America together. Incredibly strong, so similar in personalities, we bonded quickly ...

 

 

Dawn - My partner in all athletic outdoor activities and the one I spend the most time with, we met in the medical field 11 years ago when we were young, single, broke and with babies the same ages, we learned to make the most of everything. Today we are both single and always planning upcoming events and nights out on our social calendars ...

 

 

 

 

Jaime - The biggest 80's rocker you will meet even though she was born in the 80's! I met Jaime in corporate America seven years ago. Incredibly capable, competent and a single mom, we united professionally and became fast friends. She reminds me of myself in so many ways, always up for a fun night out, she keeps me 30 years young ...

 

 

 

Jody - Uncle Jody to my girls, we met in corporate America six years ago and even though we are the same age (he is older by 4 months and that counts!) and single, we became platonic best friends. We were given the opportunity to start a technology company from scratch and traveled for business together. Everyone thought we had a secret relationship going, but we didn't. We hug, we kiss, we say "I love you" as dear friends. He lives in San Antonio, TX now, but he is only a phone call away. With an ultra male dominating personality, we butt heads like crazy and at the end of the day he stands his ground as the man and I love that about him. What an amazing guy and total bachelor...

Karen - To know her is to love her, hands-down the funniest of all my friends. Karen is a rock in life, one that has faced countless tragedies her whole life. Unreal stuff that happens, then it all happened to her. Stories you can't even create and say they were put on one person. I was there and I remember many. Most recently, in 2008, I was the maid of honor in her wedding. Last year, her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and lost the battle 4 months later. The next month she lost her job, she called me and said I am putting everything on Craigslist and moving to the beach and that is exactly what she did! Sold everything, bought an oceanfront condo and healed on the very beautiful Carolina Beach, NC. What a zest for life, incredible strength and a mover-n-shaker! Karen is always ready to run to the battle line in life ...

Kimberly - Don't let her polished, prim & proper looks fool you. I've seen spunky spice here snap, slip into momma bear mode and go after a large shady looking man that was creeping on me when we were on a spa-la-la vacation in sunny Scottsdale, Arizona years ago. We met 10 years ago in the medical field. Class, poise, grace, queen of etiquette, hostess extraordinaire ...

 

 

Rich - Bachelor extraordinaire! We met when I was 17 years old, dated on and off through the years and kept our relationship in the best friend zone ... some relationships are far to valuable to jeopardize. Rich, like Charlotte, has been there through marriage, babies, every relationship, and next to God knows everything. He is my inside look at the male mind and perspective. Totally GQ, funny, incredibly witty, he still strives to be the funniest in our friendship! I guiltily admit, he gives me a run for my money and if I have ever done or said anything stupid, it was in front of him, he has a memory like an elephant and never lets me forget ...

 

(One of the sweetest things I ever knew ... once upon a time Rich & I really loved each other in a romantic relationship way. He kept a diary back in the day on floppy discs and I need to remember to ask to see those. His thoughts written down about me back when we were young before life happened. My memory isn't the best and it hurts his feelings I don't remember details of the last 25 years of friendship. I am going to need him some day to help me remember ... I hope he doesn't try to say he was the funniest!)

This is them! The elite and core group of rock solid best friends and blessings in my life.

Life happens, thank GOD for best friends!

It's Monday

It's Monday and I LOVE Mondays!

After a busy weekend, life slips back into a very comfortable routine. My girls are off to school and I anticipate the week ahead by checking my social calendar of what this week will hold for me, what the weather will look like to determine what days I will be outdoor active and what days will be dedicated to school work and responsibility.

In honor of Monday, my day off school with no assignments due, the weather forecast calls for cool, crisp, sunny early in the day with a high of 77 degrees.

Today is tennis and running the Monument with my best friend in all outdoor activities, Dawn.

It isn't just playing tennis and running the Monument steps. It's laughing, talking, sharing, enjoying the sunshine because we can and time is running out with winter approaching, all topics on the table conversations, and sorting out thoughts of life's current events with a trusted friend.

Running the steps is pushing myself in the most physically challenging way in the shortest distance. Breathing harder than I have in my entire life where I feel alive and my lungs are alive! It's the sense of accomplishment over and over as I reach the top of those monstrous steps filling my lungs with air and being closer to God under an enormous sky.

A hobby I enjoy with a dear friend and my oldest daughter. The very two that push me the hardest and I love that!

Wake up, get moving.

Life happens around us every day and every day I like to know I enjoyed the day as much as possible.

Ahhhhh ... the familiar comforts of a hot & steamy cup of coffee and a well-enjoyed day ahead with a best friend.

Work hard, play harder and plan wisely.

Happy Monday everyone, carpe diem!

ALS Walk

We go about our days in a very normal way life, but sometimes moments blindside me when I least expect it.

This morning was the ALS Walk for Lou Gehrig's Disease and a team of us walked for my Mariah's dad, Eric. We were team E Plus Three.

Everything was normal as usual, Brooke and I driving up the highway when Matchbox 20's song "If You're Gone" came across the radio. Allow me to back up a little bit here ... there is a stretch of highway that I am always on when moments of a presence of Keith crosses my path. At first I thought it was coincidental, but it isn't anymore and I don't know why.

This song released in 2000 after Brooke was born and it was the song I would send to her daddy's cell phone to remind him to come home. I loved him and needed him. I was young, my dreams shattered and I didn't know how to get him to come back.

The song came across the radio this morning in the same stretch of highway when reality blindsided me. My little girls dad is dead and we are driving to walk for a cause that is about to consume my oldest daughters dads life.

There was no stopping the tears.

Hundreds showed up to walk this morning and my Mariah was overcome by emotion as her childhood friends showed up to support her with their parents walking in honor of Eric and for Mariah. I look over at my daughter in a circle of friends, her heart is broken and tears are falling.

I make my way over and pull her in my arms, she cries and tells me, "Look at all these people in wheelchairs." She knows their fate, it is the same as her daddy's. Incurable.

It was a gorgeous sunny cool morning and about 25 of us put on our team shirts and walked.

Brooke insisted on making a donation on top of the one I already made. She said she had to for her sister. My 12 year old daughter donated $50 of her own money towards the fight against ALS and I am so proud of her.

I am proud of both my daughter's and thankful for the strength each has.

In the face of death it is so interesting to see those who steps up in support that you never expected. Mariah was saying the other day, "These girls have been my friends since we were little and some of them I haven't played ball with or have had classes with in years."

I'm teaching Mariah that friendship runs so much deeper than everyday communications. These girls woke up extra early on a Sunday morning to meet at 7:30 a.m. to walk in friendship, love, and support of my daughter along with their loving & supportive parents. That is just what true friends do.

Our team picture  is missing a few walkers, but shows my Mariah, her stepmom, me and her stepsister (who leaves to join the Marines next week) centered in the picture with Brooke on the end, surrounded by Mariah's girlfriends, parents and a few family members that came out to show their support ...

 

 

Mariah in the white ALS hoodie with girlfriends and Brooke ...



 

Team E Plus Three walking to the baseball stadium ...

Not the way you want your name on a billboard, but nonetheless our team united together for a cause bigger than ALS. Family, friends, extended family in honor of Eric and in support of those who will be left with with the memory of the effects of this devastating disease.

We walked for Eric. We walked for Mariah. We walked in friendship, love and support.

We walked because we can.

One Very Best Friend

When I was young, I had one very best friend in the whole world. Her name is Charlotte and she was my one soul confidante from age 15-34 years. Life happens and we lost touch for years, but we happily reconnected last spring.

Years may pass, but time evaporates and conversation fills in what we missed.

Last night she came over with her youngest daughter and both our youngest became fast friends. For three hours we sat laughed and reminisced.

I cherish our friendship beyond measure. To have a friend from my youth who remembers everything. We remember who we were 27 years ago, our hopes and dreams then, through marriage,  babies, and tragedies to where life brought us to now.

Once upon a time to be the annoyance of one girl in 10th grade we referred to each other as "Sweetness" ... 27 years later it is still the term we call each other.

Life has been a journey from 42 years back to 15 years old, I am so thankful time evaporated and I have my best friend back to add to the host of best friends I have now.

If I collect one thing in life, may it be many best friends.

Frequent Flyer

The school called again today.

The familiar, "Hello, this is the middle school clinic, I have Brooke here ..."  I sighed (not in my inner voice) rather loudly, the school nurse chuckled.

"Brooke is fine, she took a drink of water but feels her throat is closing due to a potential peanut allergy she may have and she ate some pretzels today," the nurse states as I hear a smile in her voice.

Week #3 of this school year and I have been called 2 times per week and have visited the school clinic 3 times already!

The new school nurse remembers me from last week and my very honest conversation with her that Brooke is a habitual frequent flyer of the clinic. Warning her that Brooke is very creative and will impress her as the school year progresses with new ailments to get her out of class with the goal of coming "home" every week.

I have assured the clinic staff that I do not condone, enable or support her behavior. Quite honestly, I don't know where it comes from.

"Brooke is fine and she probably learned of peanut allergies from television.  Please look at her throat and send her back to class," I reply.

When Brooke cannot think of an ailment for the day or has exhausted the others, she likes to call home from the office to "remind" me of things. She will get an excuse from her teacher to go to the office and call me sometimes 2x per day.

Brooke's rule of thumb is, if they don't know her by name, she hasn't been there that many times. That's it! I need to have the clinic nurse greet her, "Hi Brooke, what is it this week?"

Honestly, this behavior is exhausting!

Sometimes, Some Days

Sometimes, some days, life hits on all sides at once and emotions run raw.

A dear friend confirmed her husbands infidelities ...

My Mariah learned Michael (her 1st boyfriend of 1-1/2 years) found a new girlfriend ...

A heart I have been handling gently, I let go of ...

My situation wasn't difficult, but it did make me reflect and choose a path in life. A man that was truly wonderful, just not my Mr. Wonderful.

Logic lovingly reminds Mariah's that she made a choice while teaching her to respect the relationship her & Michael had and to not play emotional games with his heart. His heart that still belongs to her.

Experience lovingly reminds my dear friend that she paid attention to her sixth sense, fought for her marriage, and did everything the right way in the midst of an absent partner. Already incredibly strong, she will find inner strength that will sweep up the broken dreams and become a beautiful mosaic.

It's hard to see past a moment of pain, but I've learned through years of heartache that better days are ahead and I will soon laugh until I cry, feel the flutter of butterflies, experience moments where my heart twirls on a dance floor, and I feel happy and alive again.

Sometimes, some days, I live in the moment with my friends and daughters with open arms ready to embrace and protect.

The Value of Friendships

Last night I drove to meet my very charming, international friend whom I enjoy & adore to join him and his group of guy friends for a going away/birthday party celebration.

This group of guys have a commonality, Jiu Jitsu. Jiu Jitsu is a martial art combat sport, beyond ground fighting, that goes much deeper. It is a brotherhood of friendship, men of character & integrity and what I enjoyingly think of as intense testosterone in a healthy controlled environment.

Watching this group of men interact was heart-warming. Their affection towards each other displayed in physical choke hold ways or embracing in affectionate hugs with hard pats on the back was refreshing. Men that will European-style kiss one anothers cheeks in friendship.  Raw male confidence. Laughter. Conversation.

Today I woke up to a best girlfriend posting a public Facebook heartfelt appreciation to her girlfriends who are there during the fun times and the not so fun times. For girlfriends that are ready to talk through any issue, a cheerleader of support, a partner to run to the battle line with and the very one who will brush off the dirt, hold your hand and pull you through lifes trials.

The value of friendship. Priceless. Truly.

I often reflect on the endless, countless blessings in my life and I am so thankful. Thankful for each unique personality and friend that has crossed my path and added to my life in rich and fulfilling ways.

They say you are lucky in life if you can count on one hand true friendships. I am doubly lucky because I have more than two handfuls. A core group of men and women that I ultimately trust and enjoy beyond measure.

Friendship is a gift from God.

A gift I hope both my girls grasp with both hands and never lose sight of the treasure it is.

Dry Shower Walls

"Dear Mommy, i am sorry for lying to you. I feel so guilty. I promise I will never do it again. love you," a text I received from Brooke on the school bus this morning.

At 6:00 a.m. this morning I woke up to the sound of Brooke aready awake and I believe I heard the shower turned on for only 2 seconds, literally. I closed my eyes for a second about to jump out of bed to start the Monday morning routine.

Pleasantly surprised Brooke was awake, dressed with her hair in a towel from her shower, I put on coffee and started packing her lunch when Brooke comes out and asks me to put her hair in a pony tail.

Barely damp hair? Brooke has extremely thick hair, so thick a hair band can wrap around it only twice when in a pony tail. I do her hair and trust my initial instinct, the shower was turned on for only 2 seconds, I hadn't imagined it.

She happily goes into her room, I check the shower walls. Dry.

What has her grounded wasn't her plan that she thought would work, rather my needing to show and prove to her the shower walls were dry, minus the water spots just below the faucet before her admission.

She unplugged her Xbox to show me she knows she is in trouble.

No need to yell ... calm is actually scarier than rage.

I have all day to tap into my creative this-mom-was-just-lied-to-so-this-is-a-perfect-teaching-opportunity of grounding detail planning.

Eat, Pray, Love

I love when movies make sense, in my crazy screwed up way of making sense.  

Eat, Pray, Love.

Often I feel like a square peg in a round hole. Why does having normal and traditional appeal to me only 10% of the time? I entertain the thought of being married, think it sounds nice the first few minutes, ponder it further to ... forever?  It is as if a candle snuffer wants to suffocate my flame. The longer I am single the quicker the concrete dries in my thought process.

Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love is a woman who openly admits that she actively participated in the creation of her traditional married life, yet trying to live in that world felt as if it was a certain death when she began to feel nothing every day, not even her own pulse.

To know pleasure, to find again her appetite for life, she sets out on a journey she calls the "physics of the quest" which is if you are brave enough to leave behind the familiar ... to set out in a truth seeking journey to find balance in life.

The movie, the dialogue, the quotes, the very honest storyline of so many who desperately need to feel their own heartbeat again; yet stay in a world they created because they are afraid to be destroyed if they didn't.  

Julia shares ...

“There's a wonderful old Italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, "Dear saint-please, please, please...give me the grace to win the lottery." This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust, "My son-please, please, please...buy a ticket."
                                                                      - Eat, Pray, Love

So many people are unhappy and want more for their lives, yet they do nothing.

In every good Hollywood movie, her story ends in Bali when the medicine man, Ketut, teaches her to "follow her heart and not her head" and that, "to lose balance sometimes for love is part of living balanced life."  Of course she finds love in the end, it's Hollywood.

It is her physics of the quest, her journey that I applaud.

I Choose Fun

Playing tennis with a best girlfriend yesterday, between swinging rackets, running, and laughing at YouTube worthy bad tennis plays she went into detail of a recent family day back home with her sisters that turned emotional and disastrous.

Three of her four sisters had their panties in a knot over her fun lifestyle. That they always see her having fun pictures on facebook and quite honestly, from my perspective, it was three married wives bored to tears with their ideal looking lives resentful of my friend living life.

Everyone has a choice in life.

I hear it constantly myself from young, single and married friends, men and women, regarding the high volume of fun I have. I choose that. I chose fun. I chose to live life and embrace every day.

Nostalgia looks back ... I remember back 11 years ago when we first became best friends. We were both financially struggling with low wages and the high costs of little ones in daycare. Our daily routines wrapped around nap times, bath time and early 8:00 p.m. bedtimes while working full-time as single moms and running a household. Dealing with pain-in-the-butt dads who had their freedom and often purposefully screwed up our every other weekend a month days off ... then add our own young broken hearts and broken dreams.

Multiply that by years and years.

Guess what, through all of that we still had the best time!

It doesn't have to cost money to have fun. Back then our social outlet was our Bally's health club membership which was our free form of babysitting while we kept in top-notch shape. We had sleepovers, went to the parks, spent countless hours at indoor McDonalds playlands letting our girls play while we enjoyed coffee & conversation.  Our every other weekends off a month had full itineraries that were planned and enjoyed to the maximum on dance floors in clubs!

Those were the harder years, but we look back and remember all the fun we had, the great shape we where in and the stories that became our own journey through life.

Embracing every day and making the most of it is a choice.

Everyday I wake up and think what is it I want to do today? Then I do it.

I brainstorm.

I balance my life between my much needed & cherished girlfriend time, my dating life and being a mom.  It's a balance that makes my life full and happy.

Our tennis conversation goes all over the place, but it had one grand finale ... we both hope our girls have learned by example and choose to live life to the fullest, too.

Open House

At the middle school open house last night, several teachers said, "Brooke is creative, artistic, musical, wise beyond her years, participative, shows initiative and is a wonderful girl."

They weren't just being nice, because standing in line waiting our turn to meet the teachers I heard many other parent/teacher conversations that didn't go well. Kids who talk to much in class, need extra help, doesn't pay attention and so forth.

I know Brooke is a good girl and I'm glad the teachers recognize it.

Once upon a time ... it wasn't always that way. Brooke was my chatty-cathy that was always assigned to the front desk between the two quiet kids within the first couple days of school as a form of control of her.

Every year endless talking was such a challenge for her that I finally bribed her that I would buy her a DS if she could go the final 9 weeks of school without getting into trouble once.  This was a HUGE for her. Brooke desperately wanted a DS like the other kids and I honestly didn't think she could do it. She did! 

Nine weeks of behaving was the ice breaker that set the tone for the last several years of school with good behavior.

After open house I took my awesome little girl to Starbucks for her favorite Vanilla Bean Frappuccino!

I am so proud of her and told her all evening!  She glowed.

Four Math Courses Left

For the past few years I have reminded my academic counselor more than once, "Put all my math courses last as my final courses."

I am a GPA girl. Simply because academically I am rocking at a 3.86 GPA with four classes to go ... all Algebra, Finance, and Accounting. It doesn't mean anything to anyone but me. Being a personality that likes to go out at the top I battled with myself do I want to fall short of graduating to claim an impressive GPA or am I willing to risk my beloved grade point average to graduate? Honestly, the only reason I am willing to go through the torture is to be that shining example for my girls.

Lead by example. Sometimes its so overrated! :)

Dread. Loathe. Suffocation. Is how I have felt through every course nearing these four courses.

I have changed.

Six months off changed my thought process, my outlook, and unraveled years of fear.

This week I started two of my last four courses. Accounting looks totally familiar, thanks to my job in corporate America. Just like a regular business course, plus everything I am reading I need to know to apply it to my own business one day.

Two fantastic instructors and Algebra makes sense, I am no longer terrified; rather, empowered. I do have an arsenal of helpers I can fall back on in a pinch though, but I am refreshed and up for the challenge!

Years of dread have been erased. Decades of loathing mathematics made okay thanks to my life detoxifying sabbatical.

It's a good thing my outlook is good, even I couldn't justify feeling sorry for myself after the summer of Dawn!

My 6 Months Leap of Faith

The "summer of Dawn" is officially over in my mind, thanks to September getting here ... finally.

I say finally because my cup overfloweth. I have done and accomplished so much more than I ever intended. I've lived in complete enjoyment and played at 110% capacity where I wake up every day with sore muscles from physically playing hard and not slowing down. I am also a seasons girl. Ready, welcoming, and embracing summer, autumn, winter and spring.

At the beginning of my journey of faith, it has been a journey of faith to be released from the golden handcuffs of financial security especially as a single parent with a teen & tween, I hoped for 6 months off and that is exactly what I received, I didn't know what life would look like. There is no crystal ball of guarantees.

Six months later ... I believe with my whole heart that every person should plan and prepare for a minimum of 6 months to detox from a hectic and too busy life and learn what it is that brings enjoyment and pleasure, then bask in it.

I believe there would be less counselors needed if each person took a sabbatical for a window of time to eat healthy, find new pleasures and hobbies in physical fitness activities, to rest and have endless hours of doing exactly what it is that is enjoyed best. To be outdoors in the sunshine, to embrace and appreciate nature.

Refreshed. Rejuvenated. Ready. For what comes next, whatever it may be. Still calm and confident that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life.

I'm glad summer is over. My girls are back in school and I begin my own classes today.

I've experienced a summer like no other, yet I am fully charged and ready for what comes next. The best part is I have know idea and am totally open.

My leap of faith has been a journey of its own, one that isn't even over yet. The timing ideal. Ohio weather beyond the best in years.

Every day brings a gentle nudge of I am supposed to be right here, right now. My Magical Highlighter whispers it to me in so many ways.

"Make time for the quiet moments

as God whispers and the world is loud."

 

I have and it has been showered with blessings.



Blu Luna

This summer has been a labor of love; with that, this Labor Day weekend was spent at Put-in-Bay island off of Lake Erie known as the Key West of the north to celebrate the end of summer, to me the "summer of Dawn" in grand finale.

Put-in-Bay (PIB) is a party island that one reaches by boat with quaint shops, wineries, night clubs filled with "live" music, bed & breakfasts and the main form of transportation is bicycles and golf carts.

Dawn's friend flew in for the weekend, my friend met us at the island. For Dawn and me it was a weekend escape of culture & another language with international men.

There is a restaurant on the island called the Blu Luna.

A romantic outdoor patio embraced in a floral garden setting with an impressive menu and excellent customer service. Steel-drum island music fills the air in the end of summer sunny atmosphere ... we have arrived!

Different cultures from across the world gather as friends and lovers to not just eat, but to taste. Taste, savor and enjoy the flavor of food in an unrushed escape.

Clinking our cold beer in "Salute!" and "Cheers!"

August 31, 2012 was the official night of the blue moon, defined as blue moon because it is the 2nd full moon in a calendar month. The next one will not come for 2-3 years. The Blu Luna means blue moon. Friday, August 31, 2012 we sat as if unplanned and on purpose in this quaint setting.

I believe in on purpose. I believe in the power of knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be versus the striking occurrence of two or more events at one time by mere chance.

Blu Luna is international culture in a patio oasis setting that welcomed us perfectly to the island and set the mood for what was to come on the night of the blue moon and our weekend escape.

I simply cannot wait to go back.