Mr. 2nd Proposal is getting more serious by the day.
He is looking for jobs here in Ohio and wants to come up next month so we can spend "time" together. Translation, do we still have chemistry? Do we have enough core commonalities to build a life together? Is there enough between us that he will move his whole life back to Ohio so we can be together? Could I handle forever ... do I want to have a significant other in my life?
Culture shock.
He comfortably opens and shares his heart on how desperately he wants forever with me (he is thinking the girl he knew 20 and 10 years ago). I share his messages with my girlfriends, because I can't express to them how serious he is, they have to read his heart poured out and they are, "Oh my gosh! He is serious!"
Yes, I know! He isn't playing around.
Once upon a time I put my life on hold for him in a very big way. I can't go into those details just yet, but I will in a year.
My favorite and the sweetest of all the things he has said beyond all the "I loves you's" and the "I want to spend my life with you's" was in one simple statement he replied back when I told him that 20 years ago I was crazy in love with him (and I was for years) he said, "You were always worth it, I could kick my own *** for not realizing it then and wasting so much time."
Twenty years ago we were in two totally different places in life, but enjoyed and cared about each other anyway.
I'm still trying to get my head around how serious this could be. I have a feeling he will walk into my life and everything could potentially change for a long time at least.
I will know when he comes up next month and we spend a lot of time together if I am willing to give up my lifestyle of total freedom of doing what I want when I want for one person, who is going to have to be more worth it than not.
Time will tell. Next month will tell.
"You were always worth it," the story of my life. Boys always realize it a day, a month, a year and sometimes decades later.
