It was a beautiful sunny evening and the four of us sat on the patio to have a needed conversation.
Initially it was a bit awkward, everyone knowing why we were together. I look at Eric and we both begin to cry.
I began ... I shared with Eric how proud I am of him fighting ALS like a champion for our daughter. He and Kirsten protected her from the worst of it and allowed her to maintain a normal lifestyle. I shared that we were young when we were married, kids having a baby, that I am sorry for any pain I brought him, and thanked him for being such a good dad to our Mariah, always active and involved in her life. I thanked Kirsten for protecting Mariah from ALS and allowing her to be a normal 17year old as much as possible. The burden is great on Kirsten and I appreciate her.
Mariah had tears streaming down her cheeks and I turned to her, now its her turn.
She shared first that she is saved for her daddy's peace of mind. She shared how much she loves him, that she knows he is suffering and doesn't have to fight this battle any longer for her sake. That she will miss him so much, but she will she him again.
Kirsten translated broken messages from Eric. His thoughts and wishes on his upcoming passing, that God has been so good to him, and to never be angry at God for any this.
We did have some laughs when Eric would try to get a word out and all of us would shout out what word we thought he was saying as if in Charades. He would smile and shake his head no and try up to 5 to 6 times to say half a word before we could guess.
He said he had so much to say, but he can't get it out. I tell him to just spit the words out or this is going to take forever. Only he and I laugh ... that is just our relationship.
In the midst of a tragic disease there have been so many blessings. Forgiveness happens. Old friendships restore. The ALS office loans necessary equipment to make life as comfortable as possible.
Eric worries about Brooke and says he prays for her every day.
The evening was unrushed. Words that needed said were spoken. Tears happened. Laughs happened.
A bridge was built for my daughter and her daddy who could not say goodbye on their own to each other.
I kept looking into the sky thanking God for a perfect evening under all circumstances.
Sunshine, comfortable temperatures, for time, and the opportunity to sit together as a blended family saying words that needed to be said with plenty of time to laugh and talk afterwards.
Closure is a gift of its own.
