Do you ever feel you are at the threshold of change? Not slight change, but serious change. I do.
I am an "everything has a purpose" kinda girl. That every blessing through every trial had a significant purpose, most often not understood at the time. There have been times in my life that it took over 10 years to understand the purpose of a storm, when all I was trying to do was be a storm survivor. But, everything had a purpose and my life has become a rainbow of bright and beautiful colors.
Sometimes God seems quiet. Then, He meets me where I am and answers my thoughts and prayers in the most unusual ways.
It all sounds so very peaceful, let me assure you it isn't always. When my personal timelines are not met, moments of irrational behavior and frustration overtake me. Sometimes those moments turn into hours and I am not content until I purge my every thought and feeling hitting a direct target. I wave the peace flag of "I am human."
I try, I try and I try. Silence. "God? My frustrations are peaking! You made promises in the Bible and I am doing everything right." Days and weeks go by sometimes and He seems so far away ... then, my Magical Highlighter meets me. He answers my thoughts, my questions about many things that I am worrying about, calms me and assures me.
One of my questions is what direction am I going in next? What has all of my life's experience brought me to, that can be used for something extraordinary to me. I like extraordinary versus ordinary, always have!
I open one of my daily inspirations and read Unfolding:
UNFOLDING
I stared into the frustrated eyes of my friend last week as we talked about her calling to write. She has big, big dreams, and her dreams seem to be coming true far too slowly.
I told her how much I understood. Stepping into my calling was a long time coming, too. My specific calling is to teach, speak and write. Your calling may fall into a myriad of other categories, but every calling is equally high when it's in obedience to the Most High. We're ALL called to ministry of some sort.
My calling didn't materialize in a year. It has unfolded during the last 35 years, and each phase of that unfolding has shaped and re-determined the final product (which I know won't be final until my last breath!).
The unfolding looked kind of like this:
Becoming a passionate teacher of young children.
Marrying my best friend.
Investing years in my little boys' lives.
Teaching adults as they chased dreams that passed them by in their teens.
Volunteering in women's ministry.
Visiting home after home as the "Welcome Wagon Lady" in my new town.
Accepting invitations to speak at my church and others close by.
Joining the Proverbs 31 Ministries' speaker team.
Returning to a frustrating year of elementary school teaching.
Stepping in to my calling of equipping others in their calling.
I've look at my list many times and thought, "Wow. I wasted a lot of years." But I've come to realize it's just not true. Every relationship, every job, every opportunity has prepared me. Psalm 90:17 reminds me that God establishes the work of my hands. With each change, I've had an opportunity to view that next place as stepping into a calling. Sometimes I did. Sometimes I didn't.
Often I was irritated at the seeming meaninglessness of what I was doing, but now I see. Every diaper changed, every knee kissed, every book read, every late night listening, every dying to self, every lesson plan made, every story crafted, every presentation made, every meeting attended, every spreadsheet created, EVERY THING...
It all counted.
Every moment was an unfolding of my eventual calling. God used each stepping stone to establish the work I'm doing now.
He reminds me that it all counted. Life added up was my preparation for what comes next. Maybe in strength, faith, endurance or a new direction in life.
The best part is, He reminded me in a couple of ways that I needed direction and answers on that He is there and has His hand on my everything.
