I love the word fervently. It is my new favorite word.
Dictionary.com defines this as “intensely passionate.” I love passion and adding intensely to it makes it even better!
I love the synonyms of fervent: Ecstatic, impassioned, intense, animated, emotional, and fiery. These are the strong emotions to loving passionately and fighting passionately, which I have always thought of about myself.
Fervently is my prayer life now, I’ve mentioned this before. Storms of life are a constant and familiar companion. I used to think it was because of my choices, I have more than paid my dues. Now, I believe it is just my plan in life.
This last month has been rough. The death of Brooke’s dad was life changing. My relationship with Billy, the one I deeply loved and planned on forever with, ended … blindsided, again … it hurts to breathe. Four years of someone being in prison on stalking charges, released on January 2nd … fear, am I safe? Let’s sprinkle in here the financial impact of the loss of child-support, down to bare necessities. My parents are snowbirds, no help with my kids. Did I mention I wrecked my car yesterday?
Broken hearts need mended. Winter has become the season of my heart. Everything is cold and numb. Spring, where are you?
When I think logically of all that has been lost this past month, I feel I am due and justified for a meltdown. Oh, there have been tears and insomnia … thank God for girl friends! However, I feel a strange calm. Like a tsunami wave that wants to drown me, won’t.
“I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
This is a good place. This is where I am now.
Fervently. To love passionately. To fight passionately. To pray passionately. I’m thankful for the intensely passionate that is still in me.
