I asked Brooke the other day how she is feeling emotionally with the loss of her dad. She thought carefully for a moment and said, “I feel like life is back to normal, but a small piece of me is missing.”
That was a great answer and pretty much what I had carefully observed.
The constant tears, exhaustion, and sleeping is over. Brooke is back to playing, laughing, and singing like nothing has happened.
She will mention her dad in a funny light-hearted way like when I am trying for the 5th time to get up our steep driveway covered in snow. Brooke will say, “Dad, help push!”
She believes he is watching over her from Heaven. I tell her I have her on earth, but her daddy gets to watch over her from Heaven. This makes her happy.
Brooke and I were in the car driving to a sleepover with a couple of her girl friends last night when she said how great friends are. She is truly learning this life lesson … at such a young age.
I thank God for Brooke being covered in prayer by family, friends, and all the special people I never expected that stepped out and stepped up in prayer, friendship, and support.
Brooke’s own friends and their parents have helped to fill in the gap showing support and love.
Keith’s death happened so suddenly. I didn’t know how to handle a parent suicide of my child. We are not prepared for that in life. All I knew was I needed to educate myself quickly to be as proactive as possible. I contacted several child psychologists specializing in parent suicides for guidance.
I bought books and was given the link by my own academic advisor, who stepped up immediately, and provided me knowledge about a workbook for children of parent suicides. What a blessing in disguise! It brought Brooke so much comfort in her own privacy by allowing her expressions of her loss in her heart. I learned through her self expression that her main struggle she was facing was … abandonment.
You see, she refused to talk to anyone. I had to fill in the gap as we mom’s do.
I prepared the school. I prepared her teacher as her “safety person” if needed with curious kids. I prepared and teamed up with the school counselor.
What I didn’t expect … was her friend’s to be so amazing and mature in 5th grade as they too learned first hand what a parent suicide is. They rallied around Brooke in many group hugs. Said their, “I’m sorry for your loss.” They protected her and her heart.
Many of these parents have stepped up in their words of support of how greatly their child was affected by Brooke’s loss. Many parents helped fill the void with play dates and sleepovers.
How blessed we are to have come through such a tragedy, yet be covered in prayer and love.
The power of prayer protects and heals hearts.
It is the balm of healing and restoration.
