I really did have fun!
Last night, I found myself sitting in a nice wine bar (obviously the hot new place to go to), full of people, really good live music, trying a pink Moscato that has quickly become a fast new favorite in the company of a verrrry good looking 30 year old guy.
Smart, fun, funny, owns his own home, has two beautiful twin daughters, and graduates with a PhD this year. It all still feels very "off" for me. We have history so I understand conversation from past and present, and he is still trying so hard to impress me.
After a bzillion references to my "boyfriend" I finally say that relationship is over. I give him credit, he masked his glad-to-finally-here-that expression and quickly zoned in on a running list of all the places he wants "us" to go to and roadtrips to take. I think he dropped a beach vacation in there, too!
I admit I like his zest for fun in life. Always on the go doing fun activities and full of let's do this next plans. Reminds me of me in my 20's and 30's.
I had a problem with our age difference 11 years ago and even though he is definitely in a better place in life now I still feel the same way.
I laugh to myself. He is so goodlooking, why on earth isn't he interested in someone his age? Too attractive for his own good, not at all a player, and loves family life. He tells me that only a few times in life did he ever feel a part of being a family and that was when we dated years ago before I sent him on his way when he came over saying he quit college so we could be a family. Eleven years and a PhD later, he is still the same boy crazy about me.
I'm voicing feeling like a creeper being with a much younger guy to my friend Dawn. She said, "What 42 year old wouldn't want a super hot and successful 30 year old guy still in love with them after all these years?" Good point.
Yesterday afternoon he wanted to go ice skating. "No thanks!" Doesn't he understand that if I fall, it's gonna hurt for a week? Ohhhhh to be young again.
I've always taken the lead in life in relationships, dragging others to one fun thing after another. Maybe I will let him take the lead and open myself up to having fun again.
Worse case scenario, I stay and feel young.
Fun. That is all that I agree to.
