Last night I had a girl moment where I just wanted to snuggle up to Bobby, listen to his voice, hear his heartbeat, and feel his lips against my forehead. To fall apart in the arms of my rock in life.
It was late.
So, I snuggled up with a soft blanket and called him. That familiar voice is like a healing balm. After a minute he asked why I was calling so late to just talk? I said I just wanted him to talk to me. [Translation: Please do all the talking and let me just lay here and listen.] He reminds me it is him I am talking to and asks me what is going on. I held my breath to hold in the tears ... he asks if I'm biting my lip ... I roll my eyes and say "no." He asks if I just rolled my eyes ... I really did, but I think I told him "no." He thinks he knows me so well.
The knowing, the familiar was my undoing and I cried.
It has been a long and stressful week, I am multi-symptoming feeling awful, the car Mariah drives broke down, and I cried through telling him why I just needed to hear his voice.
He said knowingly, "Your tank is empty?"
When your young, love is romance, dreams, marriage, babies and a lifetime ahead of you. When your older it becomes, I couldn't imagine him not in my life. It becomes so unconditional that nothing or nobody changes it.
He is so important in my life.
Bobby and I just recognized our 5 years together. We've been a lot of things to each other over the five years and I'm sure his ears bleed every time I feel the need to tell him how special he is to me.
I'm laughing now, because I don't hold back. I freely share my heart and tell him how special, wonderful, and amazing he is. He has learned that I have to say my thoughts out loud and express my heart so "I" feel better.
We talk hypothetically of being married someday and I hope we do.
I couldn't imagine ever marrying another. Taking vows in front of a holy God with a huge piece of my heart completely missing. So many opportunities come and go in my life.
Maybe he is my problem.
5 years. Our unique relationship.
... and I couldn't imagine it any other way.
