As I reflect over the process of Billy & I planting a seed to grow an oak tree, I can’t help but recognize the many parallels of our relationship.
My making a milestone a memory. Him participating in full admiration and appreciation of my creativity.
The kit comes complete with all the essential items, wrapped in a beautiful box with all the special touches of tissue paper, bows, and presentation.
We are sitting outside in the sun when I present to him my gift. A legacy of love.
He wants to plant it right now.
Sitting on the front porch in the sunshine, I open the box and set out all our items. Billy states he feels we should plant our tree inside where it is not so windy. I laugh, “It’s just a breeze. Let’s plant it out here, its beautiful outside.”
I pick up the directions and read step-by-step the planting instructions. All the I’s are dotted and the T’s are crossed. He is studying the soil and telling me how moist it is supposed to be and feel as it grows.
He opens the littlest gift box to plant the seed, it has a tiny root! Carefully planted in the healthy & moist soil we cover it in moss. It is ready for the first ½ cup of water.
Billy is carefully watching that I measure the exact amount of water the seed is supposed to receive.
The seed is now carefully planted.
I tell him how much water he will need to give it every 3 days. OH NO, he makes it clear the plant is not coming home with him! He loves it, he appreciates it and does not want something to happen to it left in his care.
He paces my house finding the perfect south-facing window that our plant will thrive in. We agree on the perfect window. He says he likes the fact that it is a window I open often that will allow plenty of fresh air in.
He thanks me. He loves our legacy and praises me for my always coming up with the perfect touch in creativity.
Our relationship is that gift. Ours came complete with all the essential items, wrapped in a beautiful package that took my breath away the first time I met him. All the special touches of his strengths and mine that make us complete.
He wants our relationship to stay safe inside with no wind. I embrace the sunshine and call it a breeze. I would rather bask in the sunshine and risk the wind than to not feel the warmth of the sunshine at all.
I carefully pour over the instructions to not miss a single step ensuring the success of our seed. He reads the details of the soils instructions, the details I am vaguely familiar with and wouldn’t have paid attention to. His active participation. He picks up where stop.
It is my natural tendency to take over. He is watching and wanting to participate, I should have let him pour the soil into the pot. So I let him remove the seed from the box, then I take the seed out of his hand to make sure it is planted correctly. I am not happy with myself during this reflection, I should have shared more in the planting process.
Here I go again, I’m pouring the water. He is carefully observing though to make sure I have it right. He knows I can handle this, but he is still watching.
He finds the perfect setting of the sun for our plant to thrive. We agree on the perfect window and he is happy it will get the right sunshine and fresh air.
What he doesn’t know and I wouldn’t dare tell him, that window gets incredible winds and could potentially blow the pot over. I like the fresh winds and am confident in the risk I place our prized possession in. If it blows over, I will simply clean up the mess. Our oak tree will survive. That is the beauty and purpose of an oak tree, to grow strong and weather all seasons.
He has faith in my confirmation it is a great location and would be frustrated with me if he thought I risk it in high winds.
Give me sunshine, give me winds! Take away my capacity for pain and rob me of the possibility of joy.
I bring quality of life into our relationship. He lavishly praises me with love and adoration.
Planting this seed is so very much like us.
I have faith in our oak tree.
