I am the “I am not afraid of making a commitment” because I can and do. I am the kind that proclaims I want it. I truly believe it, then I choke when permanency gets too close for comfort.
This has actually happened several times. I love the challenge and stimulation of the catch and thrive in the heart of the relationship until conversations turn too real.
Forever? Forever is a mighty long time.
This definitely explains why I make the choices I do.
All this to say, my loving and doting significant other, has been dancing on the waters and talking about our future. He thinks about it a lot. I think about it a lot.
I love him. I do admit though that I get rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, and panic sets in if I thought it was really any time soon.
The future is the future. Isn’t the future a far-off term anyway?
This is a Holy Spirit … 911 conversation. Only God knows what I can handle and what I cannot. I love the fact that He puts up roadblocks that I cannot penetrate when the answer is “No” and that He opens doors of opportunity when the answer is “Yes.” A lot of the time the answer is “Not now.” Those are familiar boundaries that I can breathe in.
This was on my mind pretty heavy this morning. “God, I need your magical highlighter today.”
I don’t want to plan or pick my future, I want God to. I’m not even certain exactly what it is I truly want. I have lots of desires and ideas that contradict themselves often, but my final plan? Please God take control of those decisions and give me extraordinary! I want the dreams that I may have forgotten, too.
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote in today’s “Living Love” message:
What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail. —JAMES 5:10-11, MSG
I am confident I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life.
I am confident that God will bring it all together in the end for me, too!
