"A Surprise For Me?!"

Since Sofia was little, in person, over the phone, or over Facetime, I've told her how much I love her and I have a surprise for her when I see her.

Add her little lifetime of this and I've created a very enthusiastic 2 year old who greets everyone at the door with, "A SURPRISE FOR ME?!"

Woe is the day I came from work and walked in their door without a wonderful treat. She didn't hold back her confusion when I said, "here are some french fries!" Like me, her expressions can be read easily. 

I was pulling down her road from a long day at work and had time to either go home and change or run through a drive-thru to grab something to eat as I was babysitting that evening, when it hit me, I had no surprise. 

French fries are not considered a surprise and not pleased was seen all over her expression, but throughout the evening they became okay. 

Fortunately, there is a gas station on the way to their house that has ring pops. Four times the price as ones in the store, but worth the price if an emergency stop is needed.

Aunt Brookie, is always prepared with a bag of suckers. When Facetimed with a sucker in her mouth the other day, I knew Aunt Brookie was there. 

Sofia loves to shop. When she's with her daddy, she gets excited and says, "surprise for mommy?" Happy once the surprise is chosen, now she can segue into the real ask, "surprise for me?!"

Stickers, suckers, fun cookies, ice cream bars, and candy can be considered a surprise and this Ganny (my ever transitioning name) has created the sweetest, little surprise monster. 

Instant

What tastes better..

Ramen noodles or a pot of homemade soup?

A frozen dinner or a good cut of meat fresh off a grill?

Powdered eggs or an omelet in the skillet with fresh veggies and meat?

You get the idea. 

I am a Catfish, The Bachelor, and Love is Blind junkie. It is shocking and entertaining how people desperately want an instant connection and instant love. Then everyone is baffled when the instant relationship doesn't work out. There was no foundation in the first place. 

Online dating is instant. People go online to meet someone, see a photo they like and take an attraction and force it into an instant connection and relationship. Sorting through the smoke and mirrors has to be exhausting and trying to make that mess work, even worse. *For the record, I don't online date. 

Everyone wants something right now. Immediate attention. An immediate connection. Instantaneous, fast food and fast love. 

Instant relationships are the same quality as instant food. It's not the real thing, it's a sad imitation. It may be immediate, but it doesn't truly satisfy. 

I had someone this week go from one day not being in my life, to the next calling and texting constantly, sharing too much information [to establish a quick relationship], to wanting to slide into a comfy relationship. RED FLAG ALERT! No thanks. I severed that shockingly quick. 

Hey, train wreck, this isn't your station. Keep moving.  

There is no room for drama when you have peace, happiness, and tranquility. 

I like the real thing. Homemade dinners and true love.  

Shabby Chic French Country

I've always like to decorate and my new home is THE perfect palette for inspiration. 

The drum roll please... my new home decor is going to be shabby chic french country.  

While this is not my photo, I do have a beautiful claw foot tub and for one who loves bath bombs, this is pretty close to heaven. 

The home inspection went very well, confirming the home is in excellent shape. It also gave me hours to look at all the details as well as meet the owners. In my appreciation of the love they poured in their home, the wife and I bonded. 

She is leaving me several things that go with the home and I appreciate that. She can't wait to see what I do with it and has an open invitation to stop by once I move in and make it my own.

Next to me, Mariah is the most excited, she has lots of plans with the fabulous details of this home: birthday parties for the kids, family gatherings, holidays, and my just coming home to finding her soaking in my tub or swimming in the pool. We laugh, but we both know it's true!

Yes, my new home has a pool. A pool and a real tiny house that houses all the pool toys she is letting me have. The tiny house matches the home and will be a perfect playhouse for the kids when they are little and quite honestly, I could run electricity to it and transition it to a hang out when the kids are teens or a separate house for guests to stay in. 

Loving projects, I will be pouring myself into this forever home. 

With everything already perfect, brand new everything, and beautiful wooden floors, all I will do is simply paint walls as the backdrop for shabby chic french country. 

Well, my Dad and I. 

"So much!"

My heart burst with happiness when after a Facetime call with my daughter and grandbabies, I get a text where Sofia says, "I love her so much!" Unprompted and pure, it meant everything. 

I know she loves me and I know she's crazy about me, too. That sweet baby, I am in love with every dynamic of her personality. 

It's been a really good week.

Today is my home inspection. I can't wait to get back in my new house and look at everything through the eyes of it's mine. I want to see and notice all the little details. 

This is the first year in decades I haven't been able to claim dependents on my taxes and my first year I haven't been able to claim a home. In my fear of getting slapped with what I may owe, a quick prayer, "God, be my accountant" and my own CPA came back with a lovely return. Thank you, Jesus!

A phone call last night came through on my phone with a number I didn't recognize. For the record, I never, ever, ever pick up calls where I don't recognize the number. Leave a message first, then maybe I will return it. I answer the phone...

"Hi honey, it's Russ, ..." Throughout the decades, over 30 years to be exact, he has reached out to me. The years disappear and we slide into catching up. His voice, his talkative nature, nothing changes. 

He confessed to me that he always regretted his decision in choosing one girl over me, who ended up getting pregnant, while we were both dating in our youth. He married her to do the right thing, but it didn't work out. He wanted to let me know saying I was always smart and beautiful and educated, he always wished he chose me. I laughed and shared I appreciate his confession all these years later.

I was so crazy about him. Our dating on and off lasted years. He was always totally honest with me and I appreciated that aspect of our relationship. He knew I was crazy about him and as much as he liked me he was in a wild phase in life and partying hard with no interest in slowing down. We had these conversations our lifestyles didn't match and we both knew it then and made decisions based on that. There were never hard feelings, we knew we were just on two different paths.

When he moved away to Florida and came back years later, he threw me in a tailspin all over again. Through the years I was in a relationship every time he reached out.

I'm not interested in him. He's a friend who makes me laugh and I enjoy his company. It's pretty neat decades later to look at this from an older and wiser perspective. It's also pretty awesome to hear past flames confessions. 

Training my replacement with events this week which will greatly free up my life, a new home pending, and a beach vacation around the corner, life is very good. 

Happy Valentine's Day to Me

Happy Valentine's Day to me, happy Valentine's Day to me, happy Valentine's Day My Perfect, Perfect Valentine, happy Valentine's Day to me! <3 

I am in contract on a house, I made my offer on Valentine's Day!! HOORAY! 

I really, really wanted to keep it a secret, but it's too exciting. I've had migraines and headaches every day and I'm not sleeping well thanks to PTSD from the condo falling through three days before I got the keys resulting in my losing my apartment as well last summer.

While I know that was a blessing in disguise, I'm super gun-shy even though negotiations are done and home inspection is this week. Quite honestly, I won't feel relieved until I'm moved in. Then, I will breathe.

I knew what I was looking for and wanted in a home and I've been looking like it's my job. From fabulous online photo filters, to the reality of the homes being horribly dated, I even gave consideration to condos again, which I knew I didn't want. Touring several homes, Jaime (my dear friend and realtor) and I brainstormed how I could do renovations to make it what I want. Her, my voice of reason, would say, "This isn't what you want..." 

In my frustration, I decided to stop looking. Clearly there was a wall that I was not going to penetrate and I'm familiar when God closes a door. So, I quit looking.

One day I asked God, "You pick out a house for me. Please remember the bells & whistles of all the things I want." I wondered what He would pick knowing me so well.

A couple days later, I was in bed and hopped online. There it was. A house I recognized driving down a road to look at another house. The house had captured my attention before it was even up for sale. Online it read something like, "Listed [with the next days date]." It hadn't even hit for sale when I found it. 

As a seasoned house hunter, I made the tour happen day one of it being listed and I was already the 2nd person to tour it. 

When I pulled up, the home was far prettier than the photos. When I stepped inside and introduced myself to the other realtor, I hugged her and three steps into the house, I said I was going to be making an offer.

It was so beautiful and perfect. The photos didn't do it justice and I was thrilled. 

Every room, everywhere I looked there were details I really, really loved. So many details that I never imagined in my vision of what my next home would look like and I knew God remembered. 

I can't share all the fabulous detail surprises until my family sees the home, but it could absolutely be my forever home. 

It's funny, I had a vision of what I wanted in a home and this home is very different from that vision; yet, it is absolutely, perfectly me. 

Completely gutted and remodeled in SO many details that reflect me, I smile to myself and wonder if the sellers realize perhaps what they created was for me all along, they just didn't know it. 

Not My Assistant

My careful list, brainstorming important details, I asked her to sit down so we could talk.

I shared I know she can read the job description, but I want to go line by line because I want to talk about each important detail. First, I shared, it is really hard for me to let go.

Not hard that I have to let go, but hard because I need to and want to, but I won't trust my events to just anyone. After over 1-1/2 years of doing it all, I have found the perfect person, to not just close my events, but fully handle my events.

My performance review was exceptional with 2020's goal to find someone to take over events, only because I work excessive, excessive hours. I do fabulous events, but I am super at sales and a smart GM knows where to allocate my time in rapid growth.

I asked the General Manager to stay for the conversation if he wanted to and he did. We went in depth on the position and the importance without rose-colored glasses, because it's so attention to detail and it's relationships and hospitality and so on. It isn't easy and I want to be crystal clear.

The GM has been encouraging me for 9 months to post for the position and I always explained, you can't judge a person by their resume. I have to see what their made of with professionalism, high attention to detail, hospitality excellence, rising above all situations and strong enough to handle any and all situations as well as my team. A resume doesn't show that.

I found her. A seasoned professional with an open schedule to complement her role as an executive director for a nonprofit she does. She came in like everyone else and I watched closely. I always watch. Like a mom can multitask, I thrive in multitasking at high levels. She has all the qualities I need.

Our meeting went on for a really long time and as we were submitting her position change to HR, we had to come up with a title, I referenced assistant. The GM said, "but she won't be your assistant" and he is right. I will do sales and she will be entrusted with all things events.

It is a bittersweet moment and I am jumping up and down inside. My life and schedule will have normalcy again.

Today we have a wedding for a wonderful couple and today she begins to shadow me until she feels comfortable and says she's got this and I will pass the baton and let her shine.

I like her and I respect (this part is not easily earned) her and I'm guessing she gets no more than three (3) events shadowing me and she says "I got this."

Yesterday, I left mid day for a bit and left her in charge of a wedding set up with a running list of tasks for the team. She listened carefully and confidently she said she's got it. I walked away smiling because I like her confident reply and know she will think through every detail and figure it out on her own. It's exactly what I do.

My gosh, I've made it through an intense 1-1/2 years of doing it all and I am ready for this next season where I focus just on sales and take us to the next level.

Grampy

Grampy passed away yesterday at 99 years old. 

A World War 2 veteran, loved my grandmother deeply, and became my mom's stepdad when she was 8 years old resulting in a good life for her. 

When I think of Grampy, I think of his house that never changed. His perfect yard and grass he was so known for and entering through those sliding glass doors into the kitchen my whole life, time stops because nothing has ever moved or changed. 

Grampy used to own a dry cleaners when I was teenager. I laugh when I think how all my clothes were dry clean only and how I would drop my laundry off on a regular basis and come back to have it magically dry cleaned on hangers and wrapped in a bag at no cost. I am laughing, God love him, he never acted like he minded. When he sold the dry cleaners, I couldn't afford the bill, so I had to buy all new clothing that wasn't dry clean only. 

I think of his cherry tree and pear tree. As a child we would climb up into that cherry tree and eat probably the entire visit. Getting sick so many times from those cherries, I cannot eat or smell a cherry flavored anything today.

When my brother and I visited Grampy a couple weeks ago, we shared our memories with him and he just laughed. 

He loved my grandmother deeply and I remember vividly when she passed at her funeral, he laid over her casket and sobbed and said, "I miss you already." 

Grampy always dressed in suits. Grampy's perfectly manicured yard. His house on his street that never changed.

He passed the day after my mom's birthday and I'm grateful it was the next day. It's also fitting my mom is traveling Florida with my Aunt Carol and they were together when they got the news. 

Rest in peace, Grampy, we all love you. 

Tai Chi

Today, I took a Tai Chi class. 

Tai Chi is an ancient Chinese martial art, often described as meditation in motion. It's low-impact, slow-motion exercise you do without pausing through a series of motions. It can help maintain strength, flexibility, and balance.

Slow and methodical, I was surprised we covered as much as we did. Who knows, I may practice and I may return. 

I like trying new things. 

Where I had my "Aha!" moment was towards the end of the class, the instructor of the class (let's call him Chinese), approximately 70 years old, with his own school where he teaches, came over and asked if we understood what we just did. 

He broke down each movement into self defense. Each fluid motion we did, which felt very zen, served in ways that never crossed my mind that could break a bone. I'm telling you, this guy may look sweet and grandfatherly, but seeing his agility and speed as he demonstrated the moves we just learned, I'm convinced he could have broken 10 different bones in 30 seconds and could have gone on for hours. It was really cool and I'm glad I tried the class. 

An afternoon date with my Sofia, then I was off for a deep tissue massage.

Spa music, like my new Calm app I am loving, a warm massage table, a heated wrap, and oils being massaged into my skin, was a delicious treat. I felt fabulously relaxed. 

It was an enjoyable day off. 

Unexpected Surprises

You know when your cupboard is full, the refrigerator and freezer has food, but nothing sounds good and you feel like just going out to pick up something to eat? With the weather cold and rainy, and a damp chill in the air, quite honestly, it's an order-out/stay-in, grab a warm blanket and put on a pot of coffee and Netflix kind of day. 

There has to be something in the freezer I can whip up, when I found it, Dark Chocolate covered Creamy Coconut & Chopped Almonds Fruit Bars. Winner! Winner! Still not sure what I'm making for dinner, but this tasty surprise is a great segue into a day off tomorrow. 

I'm exhausted. 

Last weekend I had a huge success. I planned a bridal resale show and nobody was prepared for the attention we got. The doors opened at 10 a.m. and at 9:30 a.m. the brides filled the entrance way ready to get in. 

Everything was perfect. The ballroom looked beautiful with uplighting, music, and my tables were beautiful thanks to vendors I work closely with. All I did was advertise and the vendors poured in. We had over 500 guests walk through our doors, one of my vendors counted about 145 brides. I had to underplay the success of this event on social media, because I unknowingly stepped on someones toes (metaphorically speaking) in the planning process and I had to run damage control.

That's okay, those who were at my show, knew what it was, and I was lavishly praised by each vendor for my success in planning such a well-organized, classy, and highly successful event. That they've never been treated so well and they've paid 4x as much to be in shows that didn't have 1/2 the guests. 

Fresh flowers everywhere, new accent pieces and special touches, I chose the hors d'oeuvres and desserts for guests and the air was filled with high energy and excitement. 

It was 8 hours of being a graceful hostess with mostess welcoming guests, touring brides, and touching base with each of the vendors making sure everyone was happy and every detail was going exactly how I planned. I love when that happens. 

I felt like I was hit by a truck by the time I got home and with two events yesterday, I am worn out.

I may order a deep dish pizza from a new place I've been wanting to try and tonight is the Bachelor. I just love Monday nights and I just scheduled a massage for my day off tomorrow, and a hair appointment this week with a professional stylist to give me new ideas for ways to do my hair now that it's getting long again. 

To think in a couple weeks I will be in sunshine and at the ocean again, thank you, Jesus! 

Performance Review

"So, when are we doing my performance review?" I asked the General Manager today. He mentioned it weeks ago and I kind of felt bad for him, I'm sure he wasn't looking forward to doing mine. 

We share an office and have become very good friends. He is kind and thoughtful and me, I'm kinda bossy and direct with uber strong work ethics. If co-workers don't try to keep up, I have a tendency to run them over. I've never played well with low performers. 

Dominic says I set the standards for excellence. See! We make a good team.

He said, "I already did it." "Where is it? You mean you're not going to sit down with me and tell me I'm bossy, I push too hard, and I don't play nice?" I say laughingly in jest, but we both know there are underlying truths.

The hardest thing for my personality to work with is low-performers and that sums up most of our team in leadership positions. He provides me freedom to do what I want and a safe place to call it like I see it and in return, I make him look amazing by making all the money. He's earning his wings in heaven putting up with me. 

Anxious to see what he wrote and ready to debate if I'm not pleased with his review, I read all the categories and my score ranking was:

EXCEPTIONAL

He listed my strengths and didn't say I wear him out at all. 

Before the end of January last week, I already beat my revenue goals for all of 2020, which was doubled from last years revenue goals and I will continue pushing 11 more months, because I want to see what I am capable of making happen. 

Pre-approval

I am ready to buy a house.

What part of town do I want to live in? House or condo? What size property do I want if I choose a home? What is it I want the house to look like and feel like? What price range do I want to be in? There are SO many factors when deciding to buy a home.

Going through the pre-approval process today, I was quite stunned to learn I am pre-approved for over 2x what I was originally looking at buying a home for. Blessed to be in a great position, this is where wisdom comes in. 

I'm sticking to my guns and I want a low house payment. I'm thinking a pretty, little doll house on postage stamp property, with flower gardens all around, perhaps a garden, and a white picket fence. Luxury on the inside with renovations to personalize the home with bells and whistles. 

I like stashing away paychecks. I like knowing I can buy what I want and go where I want with financial freedom and not needing a credit card.

It makes me think of my Jeep. I drive a Grand Cherokee that has been paid off for years. It's comfortable, dependable, and I still like it. The windshield still has a crack and I believe in the rule of thumb, rocks only hit perfect windshields. The back light is still busted when I backed into a tree and if that was replaced how on earth would I know my SUV from all the others in a parking lot?

While others drive the latest and greatest, I prefer knowing I can buy any luxury SUV I want, but I still choose no car payment. 

People live maxed out for status and show, buying and chasing happiness. Me, I don't care what anyone has, I'm already happy, content and calm. I prefer new experiences to constantly upgrading what I already have.

This is where I say, "Lord, You find the perfect home for me."

Yoga Class

There were a few chuckles at my expense when I mentioned I was going to a yoga class today, chair yoga.

With a page full of classes from early in the morning to evening and never attending a yoga class beyond what Netflix/Hulu offers, yoga can be tough and I wanted to start off easy.

Chair yoga, while others may scoff, was an enjoyable and relaxing class. It was a large room with one whole wall of windows for natural lighting. With the lights off and spa-like music playing, it really made a relaxed setting. 

When you think chair yoga, think more, stretching. Stretching is good though. It was like stretching to the Calm app, relaxing and enjoyable. Very zen.

One does not sparkle though by the end of the hour, but I felt stretched and good.

The ladies were so welcoming and friendly. As I am in the class with thoughts racing through my mind... remembering my youth in the gym, in high impact step aerobics classes, kickboxing class, and classes in general that you dress to look super cute and keep up costing pulled muscles for days. Everything was a competition then from the outfits to out-performing others. There's a season for that and I rocked that season from my 20's to early 40's. 

I smile at these sweet ladies around me today and give them kudos for their dedication. They get up and get moving and after many conversations, they do lots of other classes together, too. There's no competition in the room, just women enjoying themselves, encouraging others, and that's a pleasant and positive environment.

Perhaps, chair yoga isn't my thing, but I'm having fun trying classes and being willing to do something I've never done before.