As an events director, weddings fall under my realm of responsibility and my brides think of me as their wedding planner.
Brides will ask me if they need a wedding planner and I share that only one wedding planner has been a part of the weddings I've done for the last two years and she walked around with clipboard in hand not sure where anything was.
My venue is like my home. I know what we have, where everything is, and nobody but me knows the best flow for our venue. An outside person is lost. They don't know what we have at their disposal and they don't even know where the bathrooms are. Staff answers to me.
Anywho... as I am preparing to begin a blog for my venue, I was doing some research yesterday and came up with a funny article where I was saying to myself, "YESSSSSSS!" Here are the highlights that I give an, "Amen!"...
30 SECRETS A WEDDING PLANNER WILL NEVER TELL YOU
The Pressure is Intense - As the bride and the groom in the upcoming wedding nuptials, you know the pressure that comes with planning your wedding, so what more your wedding planner? She or he has to deal with all the finicky suppliers, all the fickle guests, heck, even the fastidious family members. But no matter how much stress and pressure they’re under, they will never let you know it. Composure is truly one skill that all planners learn how to master from their very first meeting.
Forget DIY - There are quite a number of couples who have it in their heads that DIY weddings will make things feel more intimate. But there are hardly any wedding planners who will agree with you, out loud at least. Every planner knows that DIY weddings pose more problems than Pinterest-worthy posts could ever be worth. Plus when it comes to the day itself, it’s the planner that has to worry about whether they were able to pull off the look the couple truly desired. Unless the bride or the groom is an event stylist themselves, they’ll never pull off a DIY wedding flawlessly. [Some brides have talent in their family and let's just say some don't. I try to steer them down a path and when they don't listen, I don't take photos for our social media.]
They Lie About the Time - During a wedding, timing is everything, from the bride walking down the aisle, to the couple’s first kiss, to the bouquet toss, there is a time and place for everything. Planners have a strict schedule that needs to be followed, and they will lie to you about the time they need you around, too. If they tell you they need you at 4 p.m. for photos, that’s probably because the actual photo taking will be at 4:30. Don’t be upset if you think she or he is wasting your time. Remember, it’s not easy herding dozens of people together in one spot so if they lie a little about the time, let it go. [Not so much here, I keep a hard timeline and do so down to the minute. I'm flexible IF the bride wants to be, but for those who appreciate tight timelines, I'm your girl.]
Kindness goes a long way - Even if your wedding planner doesn’t tell you, kindness truly goes a long way. Just think about it rationally. Why would you want to help someone who is being rude or just plain mean? For wedding planners, they have to meet with a variety of people day in day out, just to make sure that things go impeccably well on the wedding day itself. Be kind to them because they won’t tell you themselves. [No comment on how I handle this.]
They won’t always like your mom – Wedding planners have a lot on their plate, and having meddlesome mothers add to the equation doesn’t make it any easier. Whether the mother of the bride, or the groom for that matter, has good intentions, it still doesn’t mean that it’s welcome advice. Planners are already dealing with a hundred different things and decisions and having to deal with intrusive moms makes it that much more difficult. But of course, she or he won’t tell you that. [Smile and breathe....]
They Do Everyone’s Job - Your wedding planner will end up doing everyone’s job at one point or another. On the wedding day itself, little things begin to unravel like name cards not being in the right place, a flower bouquet that needs a pick-me-upper and a bridesmaid’s messy up-do needing a bit of fixing. But even through the chaos and pandemonium, she or he will do it with a smile upon their face. [Oh the toilets clogged? I will slap an OUT OF ORDER sign up immediately. Oh, your friend is face-down in their plate passed out drunk before the reception event begins? Slow down on the shots. Don't due shots before the reception, some of the bridal party can handle this, some cannot. There's a girl passed out on the entrance outside, I need to make sure a safe person can get her home. I say things like, "Don't pee off our front entrance", "You are not allowed to smoke pot in here", "You need to stay out of our walk-in beer cooler, "Yea, no sex in the locker rooms." Think babysitter.
Don't get a huge cake – The wedding cake may be an important aspect of the wedding. But unless the couple decides to serve it to their guests, then they should really refrain from getting such a huge one. Your planner won’t insist that you get the smaller cake especially when they know just what kind of 3-tiered cake you’ve been envisioning. But do yourself a favor and save some money by choosing a smaller and less elaborate cake, which you can still serve to your guests if you want to. [Big wedding cakes make for ugly cuts of cake. I always advise my couples to stay with a small and beautiful cake. Cut the bottom for your cake cutting photos, I will box the top. Save your money and buy sheet cakes. Nobody knows because they are cut up perfectly and brought out on plates. SO much cheaper and better.]
Don't get a huge cake – The wedding cake may be an important aspect of the wedding. But unless the couple decides to serve it to their guests, then they should really refrain from getting such a huge one. Your planner won’t insist that you get the smaller cake especially when they know just what kind of 3-tiered cake you’ve been envisioning. But do yourself a favor and save some money by choosing a smaller and less elaborate cake, which you can still serve to your guests if you want to. [Big wedding cakes make for ugly cuts of cake. I always advise my couples to stay with a small and beautiful cake. Cut the bottom for your cake cutting photos, I will box the top. Save your money and buy sheet cakes. Nobody knows because they are cut up perfectly and brought out on plates. SO much cheaper and better.]
They don’t like all the suppliers you choose – [AMEN!] Most newly engaged couples have an idea of certain suppliers that they want to use, probably since they’ve been discussing marriage for quite some time. But while the bride and groom has chosen a particular photographer or florist, they’re secretly hoping that you choose someone they know instead. At least that way, the planner knows that they are already tried and tested, and don’t have to worry about the new vendor being incredibly unprofessional while on their watch. [Nothing makes me shudder more than when the bridal couple is excited to save money and have their friend DJ. Not true, what I like the very least is when a couple says, "We want a non-traditional wedding." This is ALWAYS key for what I know exactly the wedding I am in for. Every. Time. Back to the DJ. A DJ sets the tone for your wedding. A seasoned DJ is absolutely worth their co$t. Your "friend" may know good music, but there is an elegance to a wedding to achieve that truly seasoned wedding DJ's understand.
They're used to the drama - Wedding planners have seriously seen it all when it comes to family drama. Not only do they help deal with stress and issues between the bride and groom, they also have to deal with the parents, grandparents and the rest of the wedding party. Oftentimes, the planner ends up in the middle of family situations whether they want to or not, but even if they don’t tell you, they’re used to it. It doesn’t mean they like it though. [Family drama, oh yea, I hear it ALL. Think of a wedding planner as a counselor. I'm great to run drama by as I have an arsenal of tools with dealing with crazy wedding situations.]
They have favorite parts of the wedding- Just ask any wedding planner but they each have their own favorite part of a wedding. For some it’s when the bride first appears in the aisle to make her way to the front. For others it’s when the groom gets teary-eyed watching his soon-to-be wife walk towards him. And for others still, it’s the first dance or toasts or a number of other things, but whatever it is, they secretly watch out for their favorite part. [My favorite parts are the First Look photos with the bride & her dad, then the bride & groom. The moment that takes my breath away most is the behind the scenes where the bride is about to walk down the aisle and breathing to compose themselves, dad's are teary-eyed sharing this moment with their daughter's, it's the moment every little girl dreams of... the beginning of the crescendo. By this time, I've developed such a good relationship with 98% of my brides, I'm teary-eyed and holding my breath to stay composed.
They genuinely love weddings - Wedding planners deal with a lot of stress and pressure throughout the entire planning of a wedding. In order to get through it all, they have to honestly love what they do, and for those that are particularly awesome at their jobs, it’s because they genuinely love weddings. [It's an honor to be put into a position where I can add fairy dust and make a brides wedding everything and more that she's dreamed of.]
Planner knows best - Unless you’re a wedding planner yourself, be sure to listen to yours when preparing for your big day. Your planner won’t tell you but honestly, they really know what they’re talking about so make sure to listen to their advice. They know that each and every couple, and their families and guests, will look back upon this amazing day and remember all the stunning little details that occurred on that special day. They are going to do absolutely everything in their power to make it the best day of your life. [A good wedding planning/events director knows weddings and can take all your wishes and make them happen. A well-intentioned Made of Honor, Mom, or bestie, doesn't know the venue or the little details that make the difference.]
Weddings are a ton of work and 15 hour days are long! Being totally "on" playing hostess with the mostess, handing all the major details and (pending) issues is a lot of work. This was a funny article and I wanted to share snippets of what it's really like.
