And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten.
-Joel 2:25
I remember sending these words to a holy God in prayer. Words that meant, I want for the rest of my life the same things I wanted the first half of my life.
Lift your finger off the fast forward button, please. My life has completely changed.
I am constantly putting my finger on the pulse of my life assessing all the changes in less than two short months. Everything happened so fast, so out of my control, that I knew I was being carried, because that is when you know.
Relationship + Career + New family + New routine
Major life events that come with significant changes in each event ... all at once.
My heart is beating and life is calm as if I am breathing the way I was intended to with pieces falling into place and blessings being showered on those.
It is as if I am observing the changes from a distance watching my own life like an outsider with my head tilted seeing the pieces are falling together into a puzzle that is my own life, but I don't know what that picture is going to look like. As if I am nudging God standing gently beside me saying, "You remembered ..."
I turn and look back and my heart hurts for what I have lost and the life I desperately loved. My grief significant and I have so many questions, but I also know the answers.
My eyes back on the present, this new life and I feel as if I am walking through a garden with my finger tips touching petals blooming all around me and appreciating flowers I have never seen, breathing in their scent and feeling their velvety softness.
It isn't for me to know what my future holds, but knowing who holds my future.
