I look back at my search for significance and laugh with a humorous God that he plopped me right smack in the middle of incredible needs at the rescue mission.
Often I feel unqualified for this front of the battle line role and guilty at my rants often feeling overwhelmed.
Add in unexpected expenses on a nonprofit income.
Sammy Blue is getting sick again and the cost of his vet office visit and needed medications, I do not have.
When I say I hand things to God, I really do. One would think He is my husband because we spend so much time together and I put most everything on Him.
It is a prayer, but it's not a prayer, which almost always makes the best prayer. The familiar said out loud in frustration, "You are going to have to handle this, I do not have it."
Scary isn't it. Not a holy prayer with head bowed and eloquent words for presentation, best results kind of prayer.
Shorty after, my mom called saying she wants to give me my Christmas gift money early so I can buy exactly what I want and she will wrap it for Christmas. Not getting paid until this coming Monday, I felt guilty but knew that my Christmas money could buffer the cost until I get paid.
It has to be done, Sammy is sick.
It's aggravating to me to work so hard and financially struggle.
David texts me that he is going to pick Sammy up from the vet so I don't have to getting off work late.
I come home to him fixing my fireplace to get it working again and Sammy home. David paid Sammy Blue's vet bill and refuses to let me pay him back.
God provided through David.
David and I united as one. Him financially blessed, me broke but a significance seeking God girl.
A perfect match, complements of God.
I always have everything I need. God is an amazing provider.
When I feel unqualified at the rescue mission, I think of all the unqualified's in the Bible. God's power is made perfect in weakness and I am most often on the weak end desperately seeking God's intervention.
When I don't have and need, God provides.
Some days I can't look far ahead into a future I cannot see, I have to keep my eyes on today. One day at a time.
When I feel the pressure of a quickly approaching holiday season, I remember the gifts we had when money was plenty and I have to step back out of others holiday shopping hustle-n-bustle and keep Christmas in perspective.
Jesus birth.
Black Friday ad's everywhere, my mailbox and email blowing up with shopping savings discounts and the malls packed with consumers entertaining themselves in mindless shopping for 'stuff' not even needed.
Consumerism gone wild.
A shift is happening in my perspectives.
God's power is made perfect in weakness. Less me, more God.
This is a MUCH better position then more me, less God.
Yesterday, I was doing devotions in Proverbs for dinner guests and residents before the meal and we read ...
"The rich are wise in their own eyes;
one who is poor and discerning sees how deluded they are."
- Proverbs 28:11
Do not be jealous of the rich, money may be all they have.
God reminding me and the population He has placed under my care that faith is far better than riches.
