Bestie Date Night

 

Blessed is the person with true friendship.

Because the best stories don't start with salad. One of my dearest girlfriends, Charlotte, was coming over, the sun was shining, and I had a coupon for a free pizza and Caramel Apple Cinnamon Pie. Yum! 

The stage was set, Jimmy Buffet tunes filled the air, and it was time to share and laugh. 

In summary... bringing her up to speed with my dating escapades, adventures, and thoughts of each person, as a true bestie she was fully in my sharing. Loving my fun, enjoying all I've experienced, and at the very end after assessing all I poured out, she lovingly said, "It's time to let the others go." 

I agree. 

There is one. 

The one that made me slightly hesitant due to his realness and my complete and utter attraction. He is adventure, the one where I could wake up and say, "let's on on an adventure!" 

He has hiked all over the world. The kind where you have a backpack and hike across countries and the United States. I admire his sense of adventure and his love for nature, because I crave that, too. There is something about a man in nature, that is true to himself as he was created to be. He's funny in a quiet way and we laugh constantly. He has a fabulous hearty laugh and I enjoy him so much.

We have plans and we are talking about the adventures we want to take, together. 

While I have truly enjoyed and appreciate the others for making this season in life so fun, it's time to bid them adieu. 

Memories: On This Day

 

Facebook has a fabulous feature where Memories show daily "On This Day" from years past. I love these! 

This one popped up yesterday, "Lead me not to temptation... I can find the way myself!" 

Some things never change. 

The sun is shining and this girl has the day off!

Game Changer

 

Everyone asks, "How is it going online dating?" I believe most are surprised by my answer, it went surprisingly and shockingly well. Honestly, I met some genuine, great guys! What most surprised me is how ready 1/2 of them are for an exclusive relationship with me, right now. I am standing on the brakes trying to slow them down. 

My date card full, I canceled my account early. I don't have time to date all the guys I am dating now and new messages fill my mailbox every day, so I shut it down. 

I'm exhausted. Dating takes strategic planning and little sleep from late nights, but I have had the best time. Each guy is so totally different from the other and three of them I absolutely adore and enjoy. 

But, there is one. The one I know could be a game-changer. And, he's crazy about me. 

A Pregnancy Milk Bath Photoshoot

 

When she was young, I would do her hair and makeup for school dances, all her special moments, and her wedding day. I love being part of these precious moments of preparation, like she will be for my granddaughter. It's no different when they are adults, married, and babies of their own. 

She is beautiful and I loved she had her pregnancy photoshoot in my home. I am proud of her that she is comfortable in her own skin to embrace this. These photos are a treasure. 

"yOu'Re mElcOmE"

 

I leaned down to kiss her chocolate covered lips from her hot fudge sundae when I said, "Thank you for letting me come over today and play with you!" My sweet Sofia gave me a chocolate covered kiss and said, "yOu'Re mElCoMe!" I love that... you're melcome. 

There she sat in all her 3-year old glory with her Happy Meal + toy + hot fudge sundae + apple juice. It's everything perfect when you're 3. 

We wait until little brother is taking his nap and her & I run to McDonald's for her special treat. Placing our order she said, "i'M sO hUnGrY gRaMmy, mY tUmMy iS gRoWlInG aNd iT sOuNdS lIkE a fRoG!" 

Let's just say, at her saying she is hungry is the magical words to getting ANYTHING she wants. It's like pressing the emergency button in my heart. 

She has food at her house, but we played for a few hours and she was having fun not realizing she was hungry until she smelled McDonalds when we pulled up. 

A frog in her stomach and chocolate lips, I am a fount of grandmomma snuggles & kisses. 

Undeniable Chemistry

 

Most people who are ready or wanting to date have a mental checklist of what they want and need in a partner and their own deal breakers. I believe, some are on such a mission, that they pick the person that comes closest to their checklist and forces the relationship to happen. You know, they have just enough to work with and think they can change the other parts to be a worthy partner.

I also believe chemistry will override any list. Something shifts and change is felt. I think I met him. 

Online dating has been shockingly pleasant and overwhelmingly positive. I have a solid collection of really good guys that want more time than I even have available. 

My dates this weekend have been wonderful. Both in their 50's, established professionals, handsome, physically fit, already a life of adventure, adult kids, young grandbabies, and in the same place in life as me. This piece is important, being in the same season in life. Honestly, I could see life with both of them. Both enhancing my life. 

But the one last night... I knew the moment I saw him, it was undeniable chemistry for both of us. We met at one of my favorite local destinations, but being Saturday night, each of their venues were packed with long wait-lists. We found an enclosed location with nobody else around, a beautiful fireplace, and a couple of chairs. 

While the restaurants were filled and loud with hustle-n-bustle, the ambiance we found could not have been more well-planned and romantic. 

The attraction, magnetic. I enjoyed the warmth and security of his masculinity, and the naturalness of laughing with him. He has a great laugh and I really like him. It was perfect. 

I'm ready to close my profile.

Online Dating

 

The online dating experiment continues to be a surprisingly fun and a positive experience.

With five upcoming dates and constant communications, my brain clicks into full gear, and I am awake between 4:00 - 5:00 a.m. every day. New messages continue to arrive in full flow, and they cover the continental United States. Let's be honest, I'm not interested in dating someone two hours away, let alone someone really handsome 2,000 miles away.

Also, I'm booking a couple weeks out, which is so funny, and I'm honestly having the best time! 

Two believe they are in a relationship with me and while I am having so much fun, I'm going to have to have honest conversations with them. They are simply too young. 

My daughter and I spent the evening together last night. We went shopping and to dinner at a favorite restaurant up north. "Soooo, how's dating? You know I read your blog..." She's funny and she doesn't beat around the bush. She wants details, she wants photos, and she wants to know mostly about the younger ones. 

Well... one has fabulous lips. It was the reason I agreed to an initial date in the first place. I'm such a lips and hands girl when it comes to a guy! Even though he is out of my designated age category, his lips are so amazing, I agreed to a date. Let's be honest, I wanted to kiss him. That's it! Within two minutes he pulled me in his arms and kissed me and it was far better than I even imagined. This one is serious, now emotionally invested, and I know he is all in. Me, I want to kiss him one more time... then let him go. We are in two totally different places in life. He is where I was decades ago. A single dad with full custody raising his boys. He is serious about life and will make a solid husband to a young girl who is in the same phase in life as he is. I know he is going to be hurt and I feel bad. His boys are the same ages as my grandbabies, no thank you, I've already lived through that phase in life.  

Brooke asked for photos... her eyes flew open, she smiled, and fully agreed, he's really good looking. I know!

The other young one... smart, witty, super funny, flirty, charming, cute as can be, and really wants a real relationship. He's all in, if I gave him the opportunity. I see where he is in life and he impresses me, but he's young. He is an old soul and would make a fun life. In 10 years the age gap would be glaring. He said, "I know how to make you fall in love... all I have to do is make you laugh." That caught me off guard for a moment and he is so partially right. 

I don't care what a person has, how lavish their lifestyle is, how big their company is, and I am not impressed by dangling assets. That's all so superficial, shallow, insecure, and not a healthy foundation for a real relationship. Comfortable, yes. But, that stuff doesn't speak to the place in my heart I want filled. It doesn't speak to my soul.

Make me laugh, make me fall in love, speak my love languages, and speak to my soul... that's where the magic happens. I already have everything I want and need. This is the only piece I am now ready for.  

I'm especially excited for this weekend, a couple of my new dates are handsome, successful, and good looking grandpa's! There is something about a seasoned man, with a great body, and grandkids that is so incredibly attractive. Both seem solid and genuine, so I'm kind of hopeful.

In all my fun, all I really need is to just find the one. 

A 1-Year Anniversary

 

It was one year ago today that I arrived home from vacation and started the Keto Diet hardcore. I believe it was at 6 months that I had dropped 50 lbs. 

One year later... my lifestyle is totally different. Keto-cycling is where you can eat what you want, but you maintain a healthier eating lifestyle of low carbs, healthy fats, and high protein. I know exactly what to do if I want to lose.  

Five months ago, I incorporated strength training and fell in LOVE with it! So ridiculous, but last week when I came home from vacation and went back into the gym, I had a moment with the barbell. The music is loud and as I reached down to pick up the barbell, I realized I was smiling and couldn't quit smiling. The same thing happened when I landed in Florida. Walking outside the airport in warm air in the middle of winter, I realized I couldn't quit smiling then, too. 

Even though I've lost 50 lbs. strength training is truly changing my body beyond weight loss. My favorite clothes no longer fit and have become to baggy. I'm glad I started in October for this summer preparation. 

I am still hopelessly in love with my morning bone broth + collagen + avocado protein shake. Every single day. I've also perfected yummy protein energy balls, which are better than cookies! 

**Almond butter, honey, flaxseed, chia seeds, almonds, walnuts, unsweetened coconut,

dark chocolate chips, sunflower kernels, cranberries, raisins and oats

Use your favorite ingredients and put them in the fridge, no baking required. They are perfect with a cup of coffee. 

Thanks to the Keto Diet (the healthy Dr. Josh Axe version), everything has changed. Not just my body, but my health and my mindset. Food is medicine to your body. Dr. Josh Axe is an excellent writer and I am a huge fan. A healthy lifestyle allows you to be and feel your absolute best with the perks of excellent health screenings, high energy, and I while it's rude to say it, once you understand it, it's ignorant to not incorporate it. His book Ancient Nutrition is a simply must read. 

One of my New Years resolution's this year was to add new fruits & veggies I wouldn't normally try. I never knew I love bell peppers. Now I sauté them and have them for dinner and I love them to snack on. I'm super excited for fresh markets to open with springs fresh local produce!

Today is my 1 year Keto Anniversary. What a year, what a journey, what a transformation. Happy Anniversary to me. 

It was totally worth it. 

First Dates

 

I made it through three 1st dates this weekend. 

In summary... They are all really nice guys that are professional and have their lives together. The ones I had the highest expectations for, I left unimpressed. The one I hesitated on even meeting, continues to impress me. 

Date 1 - The one I knew from a long time ago who went in for a kiss within 2 minutes. This one, I actually kind of had higher expectations for, I found to be ignorant throughout the evening and kept trying to kiss me. Super nice, super sweet, clearly cannot pick up on,"Yea, too early" and my non-verbal lack of interest. 

Date 2 - I was seriously hoping he was as attractive as his photos. Stunned, in person he was actually better looking. Super good looking guy, nice body, wildly successful, lovely date, and so funny that I laughed out loud the entire evening at his basically stand-up comedy and a few times wiped away laughing tears. This date lingered for hours. The entire time, I was ready to leave. WHAT?!?! I know! In everything he has going for him, I am not impressed by "things". Definitely superficial and pretentious, that doesn't impress me. It's a turnoff. It sends off insecure vibes and I know I wouldn't even like his elite group of friends. Superficial isn't real. Money would definitely be comfortable, but it doesn't speak to my soul. 

There is a place in my soul I know will recognize the one who speaks to and fills this piece in my life.  "Oh there you are..." 

Date 3 - Sweet, charming, cards on the table, and I know wants a serious relationship with ME. Too young. He would be amazing for maybe 5-10 years, then the age difference would be glaring. You've got to give it to the hunters, his pursuit did get him a date. 

It was an entertaining weekend to say the least.

Three down, more to go. 

First Date Woes

Oh, I know I look calm on the outside and this evening I will put myself together, look pretty, and feign being engaged in conversation. I'm not sure how it happened, but very stealth-like I was talked into a dinner date. 

I hate 1st dates. I always have. When my girls were little and I was a young, single momma, I cancelled many first dates at the last minute and the ones I did go on, my girlfriends talked me into. I am at my best in the throes of relationship, not dating, and H--- to the no on first dates. 

There is a 2% expectation rate that I will genuinely be intrigued and interested, even though he has impressed me thus far, and has been well-vetted. 

Perhaps, I booked too many first dates this weekend and I know within the first 2 minutes if I'm interested or not. This is horrible. There is only one person I can be fully engaged talking to up to 5 hours at a time and still be 100%; otherwise, my I'm maxed out at one hour.

A first date last night, we knew each other from almost two decades ago, thought he could kiss me within less than two minutes of seeing me. Yea, you're done. So, I enjoyed where we went and the activity, just not him. 

Thank God for the peace and quiet of my home that I can shut down the white noise and regain my balance.

I'm tapping into Patty Stanger dating tips from forever ago... if it doesn't click, redeem the time by finding something you enjoy about it whether it's a new restaurant you've been wanting to try, a new drink, a new entrée. 

Initial messages, texts, and phone calls are easy... first dates are a set up for the 98% chances of rain and disappointment. That's why God made coffee dates. At least I like coffee! ha ha  

"A" Game

 

To be perfectly honest, I go in and out of the decision on dating. I had every intention of enjoying a relaxing vacation, then coming home and open up to online dating. While I prefer this to be organic, winter is quiet and not much is going on. 

Voila! Let's test the market...

I should probably quit my job and full-time date. The first morning I woke up to over 100 messages. The next day over 100 messages. This is the trend, all ages and they come near and far and I cannot keep up. I average 50-100 new messages a day. I cannot search for what I want, because notifications pop up every few seconds. I cannot read my messages, because the page with all the messages flashes with constant new incoming messages. It's like wondering if you are a little thirsty, then have to drink out of a firehose. 

It isn't that I am so amazing... I think it's just that people are nestled in for the winter, the pandemic, and this is easy.

The age category that I prefer is 48 to 58 years old. 

Let me talk for moment about the "A" game. One's "A" game is used in reference to performing to the very best of one's ability:

30'somethings - For the record, I am NOT interested in someone in their 30's. I have this conversation often. These guys are relentless! They are handsome, sweet, charming, funny, all about selfies, quickly turn topics into physical and at my candid comments they are simply too young... they turn up the heat! I smile and laugh all day. This generation seems to want to nose-dive into a relationship. These young "hunters" are doing exactly what they are created to do, hunt. 

40'somethings - This generation seems to play it a bit cooler. They are in a generation where they have time so they take a too relaxed, lazy-dating, and cool approach. They think a "Hi", a heart, a smile is enough. Silly boys... have you met the 30's somethings and 50'somethings? 

50'somethings - My preferred generation. The "A" game is different. They are established, secure in who they are and fine tune the quality of conversations. Thank you! Funny and charming with a healthy flow of stimulating communications, they have strong initiation, and secure prime date nights with well-planned out dates. There are some really good looking guys, too. I'm so super pleasantly surprised. 

I cannot keep up with all the messages and I don't even try to. Sometimes after a few minutes I log off and step away. I have a core group of about 20 that fits a lot of the criteria I am interested in. This reminds me of the summer I dated 13 guys at once. I know, that sounds awful, but... I was honest, I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, just casual dating and fun. After a few months, I cut the group in 1/2 according to their age, and let the younger ones go. 

That's where I'm at now. I'm not looking for my forever, because I feel it's like finding enough qualities and forcing it into a relationship. I am dating to have fun. I have zero expectation that someone on here will so wildly capture my interest that I don't want another. You know, the one I cannot imagine my life without. 

For now, it's crazy entertainment. 

My Little Snuggle Bug

 

Look at those blue eyes and kissable lips! I brought Rowan home a beachy/pool shark shirt and pool hat. He loves his pool hat and wears it now. My little snuggle bug is so handsome. 

When I was in my 20's I remember opening a Chinese cookie and the paper read, 

"Blue eyes will bring you happiness as deep as the sea." 

I never forgot that and it certainly has.