They were actually happy tears. Odd, huh? Yep. Once I found out I was going to be a grandmother, I find I get emotional even when happy.
Perhaps it's love spilling out when outwardly I am not showing exuberance.
I woke up happy and was surprised when I came into the kitchen and Brooke had a banner of lyrics beautifully written as a Mother's Day wish. She had the coffee pot set and there sat a spiral album of my granddaughter and my family.
Brooke's goal is always waterworks, she was still sleeping and missed the show.
Then I see a small note written in the middle of the banner and the gift and it said,
For the most
perfect mother
in the world
<3 Brooke
Perfect.
That word stuck with me that she would chose that word to describe how she sees me.
I'm sitting in church and as the pastor is talking, the memories of years ago play like a movie reel in my mind. The years we battled so hard. Locking horns like mighty rams.
God never gives you more than you can handle, yet He gave me her and knew I could handle it. He provided the strength as the weeks, months and years blurred into battles and brokenness and I met her at every ugly boundary.
The years she really wanted to quit life and that dark place that I went to as a mom that only God really knows.
Those years have passed and it's safe to say our whole family is celebrating she made it to graduation.
Nobody gave up on her. I think of kids hurting in pain and families worn out turning their backs. Don't.
She is graduating. She's happy. She's in love.
Healing happens.
Both my girls often reference who I love the most. Good grief is that exhausting. The truth is, when Brooke was in her darkest hours, weeks, months and years, I never once loved her an ounce less than Mariah.
And on this Mother's Day as I am sitting in church with happy tears. I'm thinking of my little girl who made it, when the bowels of hell tried to destroy her. Yet, today my relationship with her is extremely close and I know I am her best friend.
My Mariah's Mother's Day card to me had a repeating theme about being a strong woman.
Alex, Brooke's fiance thinks of me as fearless. That is a healthy respect I'm glad he has for me.
My family all together. Everyone happy. My beautiful granddaughter whom I love so, so dearly, I am grateful.
It was such a good Mother's Day and as I reflect over the last 21 years of being a single mom, I am blessed beyond measure for the relationship I have with both my daughters, my son-in-law(s), and granddaughter.
Don't think for a second I don't look back and remember everything it took to get here.
It was so worth it.
