You

The weather is perfect outside. It's the January blend of a thick blanket of gray cloud coverage, constant drizzle and a chill in the air. Perfect to stay in. 

I just got home from work and have an entire evening ahead of me. For dinner, I'm doing a BBQ pork with sweet corn and corn bread is in the oven baking. Slipping into a favorite comfy outfit, a pot of coffee is freshly made, and I'm about to binge-watch You on Netflix. I'm addicted!!

A couple good books and at some point I will take a break between episodes, tie up my hair, and soak in a tub with a delicious smelling bath bomb. 

Quite honestly, it's a perfect evening ahead of me and I would rather be alone and enjoy the wordless routine of a glorious winter hibernation, then run around in crappy weather trying to find something to do to have fun. Or, worse yet, shop for happiness. I hate shopping and I have everything I need and want. 

Cheers to know what makes you happy and doing it!

Loss

In the midst of getting ready for work today, my phone rang. When I saw her name on my phone, I could feel my heart break for her and I was a mess before I even answered and said, "How are you?"

She apologized for not calling sooner, but with her father's blindsiding heart attack that killed him days early, one of my very dearest girlfriends, has been in the blur of the unexpected death of her father, who was a really, really great dad. 

She shared the details and the raw panic of that day and if you've ever lost someone significant in your life, those visions are often permanently etched in your memory. For respect of her privacy, I will keep those details private. 

There is a place with best friends, when you can safely break and bare your soul. I knew when I didn't hear back for days, it's because she didn't have the strength outside of making arrangements for him to call. So, I would send her daily texts letting her know she was in my continued thoughts and prayers and that I loved her. 

There are no magical words. Flashbacks to deaths and loss I've experienced, and while I don't remember any of the words that were shared, I remember my girlfriends coming over, and just being present. You remember the ones who stepped in and filled the gap to just listen and let me cry as long as I needed. 

Unexpected deaths bring a panic, a sense of confusion, and chaos of their very own. 

She was blessed with a wonderful father and a great man who loved life and his family. His passing will take a toll on her. 

They say time heals the heart. I believe, time lessens the rawness of the pain. When the world is back to normal for everyone else, and the months and year's have passed, others think your heart has healed and is fine, sometimes it isn't. 

When you deeply love, you learn how to live with the loss. 

I know Saturday morning I will see her at calling hours and I can't wait to hug her. Decades of best friendship will turn into tears and unspoken words I know she has broken. 

Standing in the store looking at sympathy cards with words like: sympathy, your loved one, peace ... all sounded so generic, cold and impersonal. I found only one card that read of the right now, when your loss is so fresh, because I wanted a card that speaks to the right now when the world feels like it's collapsing for her to know, I'm here, for every time she needs to talk, cry, or just be present, and I'm praying. Not the emoji of praying hands everyone overly uses on social media for show and you know the half-hearted intention is lost the moment the next post appears, but really praying. 

Until then, 

please remember

there's a circle of friends

surrounding you

who are embracing you

and lifting you up in prayer.

New Years Eve

New Year's Eve day started off watching my grandbabies. Rowan is 6 months old and I am in love with my sweet grandson who is always happy and has the greatest fuzzy, duckling hair!! He's so sweet and happy and love this Gamma's snuggles, playing, and kisses. 

My Great Gatsby New Year's Eve Celebration was total success! Stunned that 98% of the guests came totally dressed for the Roaring 20's, as guests arrived happy and ready to celebrate.

I created these frosted boxes and it's hard to see in the photo there are lights inside of them and they are actually glowing. I thought it was a very fun presentation to walk into.

Music filled the air as guests walked through the door, sounding as if they were walking into a speakeasy. Setting the tone and giving the feel that you wanted to run to the dance floor and do the Charleston.

The room lit up and draping in pearls and ostrich feather plumes, great music, the scent of delicious food in the air and the open bar, my guests were ready to party. Believe me, they partied! 

Brooke & Alex had fun dressed as a flapper and I believe my daughter was happiest on the dance floor. It was fun watching her dance, she's always had amazing rhythm.

Even after the party was over, guests didn't want to leave. 

Most of the ladies were flappers, but here are some of my personal favorite 20's outfits. This guys was a riot and came with a party of 18. 

This couple was so cute in classic 20's attire and were fabulous on the dance floor.

People watching was entertaining, they partied like crazy! A countdown clock to midnight, champagne toasts and pork and sauerkraut at midnight and I finally pushed them out the doors by 2:15 a.m. 

I guess when it's a good party, nobody is in a hurry to leave. I'm also guessing there are a lot of worn out people today. 

Me, it's New Years Day and Christmas is officially down and all is clean. 

Welcome 2020. 

Cheers!

Tonight I am hosting my Roaring 20's New Years Eve Celebration! Thanks to Amazon Prime and local stores, the pieces of my vision for this celebration has come together beautifully.

Believe me, one never knows exactly how endless details combined together are going to look, but let me tell you, it's better than I imagined! My team set the Ballroom and I think through my thoughts and add the final touches. 

My black ostrich feather plumes arrived last night, thanks to Amazon Prime. A final touch on one of my centerpieces, a very tall (approx 3') martini glass stuffed with a black linen napkin and topped with two white hydrangea's with strings of pearls cascading down the glass and a black ostrich feather plume as the perfect accent to tie the centerpiece together. 

From the check-in table that came together far better than I even planned, to the table decor, to the cocktail napkins, the Ballroom will welcome guests for a glamorous soiree. 

I really am excited. 

Tonight is the 1st party my daughter Brooke has ever been to. She was invited to parties when she was in high school, but she'd always say there would be alcohol and pot, so she wasn't interested in going. But tonight. Tonight will be her 1st party she's ever been to as well as her 1st New Years Eve out. Her Roaring 20's flapper outfit is absolutely adorable and she's been practicing the Charleston. What a great 1st party to attend in life. 

The Ballroom, beautiful. The food, off the hook delicious, thanks to the best chef we've ever had. A talented DJ, a personal friend of mine I used to date in my early 20's, he brings high energy and great music.

Yesterday I booked two more weddings for 2020 and am only thousands away from my 2020 revenue goal. My 2020 goal was set at 215% higher than this years revenue goal, at my permission. In fact, I gave permission to go $75K even higher to take the goal to my own personal goal, but they feel 215% higher is enough. 

In 2019 I beat the revenue goal by 72% over revenue. 

This year, at the end of the 1st quarter, the company gave a nationwide, corporate wide shout out for those who are within 75% of their goal. In one month I will exceed budget revenues. I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing my name.

I've never been a math person, but when it comes to my statistics and revenues, I can prattle it off the top of my head. 

This year was a year of unexpected ble$$ings and next year, WOW!

Cheers to a happy new year!

New Decade

New year, new decade. Being born in 1970 it's been pretty cool to have each of my 10 years in life in a new decade.

In the 2020's, I will be in my 50's. Once upon a time that would have sounded horribly old, but the 50's are the new 40's, and I certainly don't look like a grandmomma. This stage in life is like being in my 20's all over again, but I am completely established and an empty nester.

Television is sharing the things that happened over the last decade and I reflected what were my significant, decade life-changing moments: 

   * Both my daughters graduated from high school and I graduated from college

   * Mariah & Jeremy married 

   * I became a grandmomma to Sofia & Rowan

   * Sold our family home 

   * Became an empty nester after 20 years of being a single momma

   * Brooke & Alex married

   * I'm in a career I never anticipated and thriving

   * My parents are seasoned snow birds and celebrated their 50th anniversary this year

   * My brother started his own church after decades of being a pastor

   * Financial freedom, 0% debt to credit ratio, I don't use credit cards, and excellent credit

   

A completely clean slate. Blessed.

Looking back on the last decade, what made my Top Cringe-Worthy Trends in general list: the selfie, the man-bun, wearing pants hanging below your butt, fillers, and micro-cheating.

My favorite trend and I admit I am an absolutely junkie: Catfishing. I love watching the show and I am still shocked and amazed with the show's popularity (education) people fall for the craziest stuff. 

New Years Eve and 2020 is almost here and I am hosting a Roaring 20's New Years Eve party to welcome 2020. 

I'm ready. 

Black Raspberry Vanilla

It was a just a normal, good day. Low-key and while everyone's busy with Christmas, my schedule is actually light. 

Sunny & 60 degrees in December is nothing less than a Christmas miracle and it felt good to run a few errands with the sunroof open. A few stops with blessings along the way, I looked forward to coming home and soaking in a hot bath.

The delicious aroma of a Black Raspberry Vanilla bath bomb, a cold glass of sweet iced tea and two books (because I often ready multiple books at a time) created a moment I longed to be in and relaxation envelops me. 

I just checked my Fitbit to see if I am still in lead and notice my dad has passed me up today in our family member competition. It makes me smile, because I had to do 16,000 steps yesterday to keep ahead, but right now I am relaxed and ready for bed. 

Tomorrow, I will reclaim my throne. 

A Christmas Happy Scream

There was excitement in the air and Sofia's happy scream when Jeremy carried in Sofia's big present from me, a 7' indoor trampoline, wrapped in Frozen Christmas wrapping paper.

She tore into the paper, saw the photo of the trampoline on the box and said, "jUmP!" She knew. "tHaNk yOu mUcH, gAmMa!" She has the best manners of any toddler I've ever known.

Family together, laughter, conversation, and the excitement of Sofia and little brother crawling all over just happy with wrapping paper and boxes made my heart full. Family Christmas dinner and thought-filled presents, made a beautiful Christmas, and I loved seeing everyone together and happy.

Never mind, I bought my own. Me, I always do a little something for me. It all started with an excess of vacation days in 2019 that I never used that's rolling over into 2020. Not sure when I will use 30+ vacation days + holidays, but I'm thinking I can plan on going to Florida once a month to the beach & sunshine throughout the rest of winter.

2020

New year. New decade. New home. I'm turning 50. It all makes me smile.

Oh, but today, Christmas day! I'm grateful that in the hustle-n-bustle and the excitement of it all, my family is grounded in the true meaning of Christmas, Jesus birth. We know why we celebrate, we know who to thank, and because of Him, we have eternity in heaven.

Christmas day 2,000 years ago was far different than today. When I think of my heart's joy when my grand baby's are born, I think of God's joy and love and the angels rejoicing at the arrival of the one who came to save us.

Merry Christmas.