L.A. proved too much for the man,
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.
He's leaving,
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
This old classic song filled the air as I sat on a patio at an Italian restaurant today having lunch with the one I am falling so head over heels for.
It started to pour down rain and that made the mood even more romantic being the only ones who chose the covered patio.
After catching up in conversation and happy to just be together he asks, "What are you thinking about?" I wasn't sure if I was ready to be totally honest when he asked again, "Are you going to make me guess?"
He desires to communicate with me and doesn't miss a beat.
This man across from me, the one I see forever with ... it was time to put my stake in the ground and I confess ..."I want you in my life," I share. "I want you be there and I want to experience everything with you. Not because I need you, but because I want to share everything with you ..."
He listened knowingly, confirmed and matched my heart.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Sunday, June 9, 2013
A.C.T.
Mariah texts me while she is out making sure I will go with her to her ACT testing yesterday morning.
Translation: I'm not sure where to go and I need your help making all this come together for me. BTW, I am going to be out late the night before, please make this happen. Thanks. I love you.
I am up and ready early on Saturday morning, arrive at local college campus at 7:30 a.m. to get out of the car when Mariah says, "Mom, I see my friends ... is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Mariah's world ... where mom (yours truly) schedules the testing, prints the confirmation, texts her what time she needs to be there, where she needs to go, reads over the what-to-do and what-you-may-not-bring into A.C.T. testing, researches on the website for what calculators are acceptable and unacceptable so she stands the best possible chance passing the Math portion of the test, reminds he she needs snacks for this 5-1/2 hour test, searches for #2 pencils, then she asks if I could sharpen them while she gets ready.
"Is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Sure honey, is there anything else I can do for you? [Sarcastically thought]
There were no other moms or dads walking their almost college students into testing. Yes, I did realize I could have done a little less and she is capable of more. I tend to make my girls lives as easy as possible.
So, I went over to my mom & dads house for coffee and conversation.
Translation: I'm not sure where to go and I need your help making all this come together for me. BTW, I am going to be out late the night before, please make this happen. Thanks. I love you.
I am up and ready early on Saturday morning, arrive at local college campus at 7:30 a.m. to get out of the car when Mariah says, "Mom, I see my friends ... is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Mariah's world ... where mom (yours truly) schedules the testing, prints the confirmation, texts her what time she needs to be there, where she needs to go, reads over the what-to-do and what-you-may-not-bring into A.C.T. testing, researches on the website for what calculators are acceptable and unacceptable so she stands the best possible chance passing the Math portion of the test, reminds he she needs snacks for this 5-1/2 hour test, searches for #2 pencils, then she asks if I could sharpen them while she gets ready.
"Is it okay if I go in by myself, no other moms are here?"
Sure honey, is there anything else I can do for you? [Sarcastically thought]
There were no other moms or dads walking their almost college students into testing. Yes, I did realize I could have done a little less and she is capable of more. I tend to make my girls lives as easy as possible.
So, I went over to my mom & dads house for coffee and conversation.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Spiritual Warfare
Unexplainable happenings since Keith's passing have been creepy to say the least.
After almost 2-1/2 years, I called my brother this morning who is a Baptist pastor and asked him to come to my home and take care of it.
I was a bit hesitant and surprised when he said he wanted my girls to be a part of what he was about to do, but I understood why after the fact. After work, he met us at our home and at our dining room table he explained to my girls death and spirits.
He explained carefully to them from a Biblical perspective the unseen is very real, what it is, but that we have power through God to cleanse our home permanently.
Permanently as long as we do not invite spirits in through portals of the dark world. It was another good opportunity for me to explain to my girls why paranormal is not allowed in my home on television, movies, etc. That when they are with their friends who want to tap into psychics and things that tap into the spiritual world to remove themselves from the situation.
Spiritual warfare is very real. The unseen would terrify us if we could see.
My brother is an amazing guy and I absolutely love him. I'm proud of him being a pastor, his relationship and purpose in life passionately sharing the word of God. I admire him as a man, a husband, and as a father. I love that no matter what happens in life, he is my brother first and foremost. Once upon a time I went to him about a personal matter in life and he told me then that he is not my pastor, that he would always be my brother first, and he has kept true to his word. I've never forgotten it and we really share an incredible bond.
My brother explained to my girls what the Bible says about spirits, that as a family we have to be united with not one of us in our home who wants things not of God to enter. That was easy, all of us are peace-out on anything creepy.
Then we prayed together.
He prayed to rid our home forever of anything not of God. He prayed for safety over our yard, that angels will surround us always. He prayed for specifics and the prayer went on ...
I have been born into a family of incredible faith. My girls will understand the value beyond all measure as an adult what role this will play in their lives. The blessings that will follow them and their children because of our faith.
Spiritual warfare will rage on, but not in my home or property.
After almost 2-1/2 years, I called my brother this morning who is a Baptist pastor and asked him to come to my home and take care of it.
I was a bit hesitant and surprised when he said he wanted my girls to be a part of what he was about to do, but I understood why after the fact. After work, he met us at our home and at our dining room table he explained to my girls death and spirits.
He explained carefully to them from a Biblical perspective the unseen is very real, what it is, but that we have power through God to cleanse our home permanently.
Permanently as long as we do not invite spirits in through portals of the dark world. It was another good opportunity for me to explain to my girls why paranormal is not allowed in my home on television, movies, etc. That when they are with their friends who want to tap into psychics and things that tap into the spiritual world to remove themselves from the situation.
Spiritual warfare is very real. The unseen would terrify us if we could see.
My brother is an amazing guy and I absolutely love him. I'm proud of him being a pastor, his relationship and purpose in life passionately sharing the word of God. I admire him as a man, a husband, and as a father. I love that no matter what happens in life, he is my brother first and foremost. Once upon a time I went to him about a personal matter in life and he told me then that he is not my pastor, that he would always be my brother first, and he has kept true to his word. I've never forgotten it and we really share an incredible bond.
My brother explained to my girls what the Bible says about spirits, that as a family we have to be united with not one of us in our home who wants things not of God to enter. That was easy, all of us are peace-out on anything creepy.
Then we prayed together.
He prayed to rid our home forever of anything not of God. He prayed for safety over our yard, that angels will surround us always. He prayed for specifics and the prayer went on ...
I have been born into a family of incredible faith. My girls will understand the value beyond all measure as an adult what role this will play in their lives. The blessings that will follow them and their children because of our faith.
Spiritual warfare will rage on, but not in my home or property.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
I Am Falling In Love
My world is full of magical, breathtaking, rapturous stolen moments, fairy tales, and pixie dust. I am falling in love.
My time-out in dating has paid off. My holding out and not settling for a really great guy "on paper" has kept my life open for the perfect guy ... for me.
I touch my toes in these fairy tale waters and hardly believe it is real every day that goes by.
Every moment that I see him our friendship and relationship deepens. Every moment that he pulls me in his arms and kisses me, euphoric moments become my normal.
I am lost in his voice. I value what a grounded amazing man he is. He has surpassed the very boundaries that lesser men have not passed, I genuinely respect him.
I am his thoughts. I am his quality time.
I am where his thoughts and daydreams linger.
Weeks ago I told Christin he is going to be significant in my life and he is.
My time-out in dating has paid off. My holding out and not settling for a really great guy "on paper" has kept my life open for the perfect guy ... for me.
I touch my toes in these fairy tale waters and hardly believe it is real every day that goes by.
Every moment that I see him our friendship and relationship deepens. Every moment that he pulls me in his arms and kisses me, euphoric moments become my normal.
I am lost in his voice. I value what a grounded amazing man he is. He has surpassed the very boundaries that lesser men have not passed, I genuinely respect him.
I am his thoughts. I am his quality time.
I am where his thoughts and daydreams linger.
Weeks ago I told Christin he is going to be significant in my life and he is.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
An Amazing Day
Waking up early, opening the windows, hearing the birds sing, the sunshine, the morning coolness, the girls still asleep, and a wonderful day ahead of me. It is my favorite way to start the day.
I am excited beyond words. I am falling head over heels for the best guy that simply makes my soul sing!
Today is our well-planned and scheduled quality time. Hours spent together laughing, talking, holding hands, kissing, and lost in each other.
I wake up to, "Good morning, beautiful" text messages and fall asleep to his words he cannot wait to see me.
Phone conversations throughout the day, simply sharing daily details. He lets me know constantly I am in his thoughts.
In a few hours this full of life, crazy sexy guy will pull in my driveway, light up like the northern lights, take my breath away, then pull me in his arms and kiss me like a lost lover.
For now, the cool morning breeze and the birds chirping are setting the scene for what is going to be an amazing day!
Shhhhh ... don't wake the girls up just yet.
I am excited beyond words. I am falling head over heels for the best guy that simply makes my soul sing!
Today is our well-planned and scheduled quality time. Hours spent together laughing, talking, holding hands, kissing, and lost in each other.
I wake up to, "Good morning, beautiful" text messages and fall asleep to his words he cannot wait to see me.
Phone conversations throughout the day, simply sharing daily details. He lets me know constantly I am in his thoughts.
In a few hours this full of life, crazy sexy guy will pull in my driveway, light up like the northern lights, take my breath away, then pull me in his arms and kiss me like a lost lover.
For now, the cool morning breeze and the birds chirping are setting the scene for what is going to be an amazing day!
Shhhhh ... don't wake the girls up just yet.
Siblinghood Prevails
Siblinghood prevails. Words my Mariah won't forget.
Traveling on an all-family vacation this past week in one vehicle was my dad (Papa), and the two little ones who watched their movies with headsets, slept, and my dad and I enjoyed the drive speaking a little and a lot of just silence. That's how we roll.
The other car were the chatty-cathies, my brother, sister-n-law, Mariah, and my mom. I would have wanted to jump out of the moving car after 6-hours of constant loud conversation.
My Mariah is very close to my brother. He was a single young man when she was born and married when she was 4 years old. Mariah has wedged herself as a toddler between my brother and his wife Melissa since they were dating.
My mom shares with me a conversation in their car ...
Mariah was saying how strong she is, that she is stronger than me. My brother cautiously warns her that she may be stronger, but that I am much meaner that she is, don't ever put your hands on your mom.
Mariah tests the waters a bit further ... "What if my mom hits me first?"
"If your mom hits you, you deserved it. If you ever put your hands on your mom, even if she hits you first, I will come after you and hit YOU! That is my sister and she will always come first" my brother (the pastor) warns her.
Stunned. I know her feelings were hurt. I know she believed her uncle would always protect her first, but he didn't.
Siblinghood prevails.
A lesson well learned.
*For the record, I don't hit my kids. Mariah likes to wrestle and play rough. A few years ago, she started wrestling with me and became overly excited when she knew she was getting pretty close to giving me a run for my money. I told her to stop and in her excitement she wanted to prove she is stronger and didn't. So, I *pinched* her. Hard. It crushed her feelings and I warned her then, don't ever try to overpower me. Some day you will be stronger, but I am much meaner and I will hurt you.
Traveling on an all-family vacation this past week in one vehicle was my dad (Papa), and the two little ones who watched their movies with headsets, slept, and my dad and I enjoyed the drive speaking a little and a lot of just silence. That's how we roll.
The other car were the chatty-cathies, my brother, sister-n-law, Mariah, and my mom. I would have wanted to jump out of the moving car after 6-hours of constant loud conversation.
My Mariah is very close to my brother. He was a single young man when she was born and married when she was 4 years old. Mariah has wedged herself as a toddler between my brother and his wife Melissa since they were dating.
My mom shares with me a conversation in their car ...
Mariah was saying how strong she is, that she is stronger than me. My brother cautiously warns her that she may be stronger, but that I am much meaner that she is, don't ever put your hands on your mom.
Mariah tests the waters a bit further ... "What if my mom hits me first?"
"If your mom hits you, you deserved it. If you ever put your hands on your mom, even if she hits you first, I will come after you and hit YOU! That is my sister and she will always come first" my brother (the pastor) warns her.
Stunned. I know her feelings were hurt. I know she believed her uncle would always protect her first, but he didn't.
Siblinghood prevails.
A lesson well learned.
*For the record, I don't hit my kids. Mariah likes to wrestle and play rough. A few years ago, she started wrestling with me and became overly excited when she knew she was getting pretty close to giving me a run for my money. I told her to stop and in her excitement she wanted to prove she is stronger and didn't. So, I *pinched* her. Hard. It crushed her feelings and I warned her then, don't ever try to overpower me. Some day you will be stronger, but I am much meaner and I will hurt you.
From Success to Significance
I am reading a book called From Success to Significance. This September I am taking a 6-week course based on this very book on a topic that many face later on in life, but for me it is now.
I am always seeking the what haven't I done, in what ways can I grow and stretch my mind, and always the I want to try everything. So I found myself at a place where many halftimers (average 50 year olds) find themselves that have had a successful career, built their home, raised their family, yet comes to a point in life where after success where is the significance?
This is a quest I am seeking.
Seeking because I want to live the fullest life possible. As my girls get older and my freedom returns, I look at life as another new beginning.
Everything I have learned in life thus far is being fine-tuned, valued, and appreciated as quality of life is well-honed.
In my quest for seeking significance I have found the peace of being unstuck. I am no longer in a box as to where I can live, I am free of an established career that some cannot change from after so many years. My life is so open to what ever comes next and while as I say it out loud it all sounds very unsettled and unplanned, but it isn't at all. It is liberating and open.
I am always seeking the what haven't I done, in what ways can I grow and stretch my mind, and always the I want to try everything. So I found myself at a place where many halftimers (average 50 year olds) find themselves that have had a successful career, built their home, raised their family, yet comes to a point in life where after success where is the significance?
This is a quest I am seeking.
Seeking because I want to live the fullest life possible. As my girls get older and my freedom returns, I look at life as another new beginning.
Everything I have learned in life thus far is being fine-tuned, valued, and appreciated as quality of life is well-honed.
In my quest for seeking significance I have found the peace of being unstuck. I am no longer in a box as to where I can live, I am free of an established career that some cannot change from after so many years. My life is so open to what ever comes next and while as I say it out loud it all sounds very unsettled and unplanned, but it isn't at all. It is liberating and open.
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are built for."
I want the journey, the adventure, and the memories of a well-lived life.
Significance is a personal perspective, we each have our own.
From success to significance, I want the journey of a lifetime, and it is beginning now.
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