When Brooke's dad was alive and we were together (15 years ago) I had a bad habit of calling him names and often said rude and nasty comments out loud.
Because he couldn't hear me, I would. He couldn't hear out of one ear and I am certain he didn't hear well out of his good ear.
I would call him names in close proximity and he would turn to me and say, "What did you say?" No idea I was blasting him.
I learned to argue tough early on and I am certain being a single mom all these years and working in professional arenas with intelligent physicians and executives, I learned to stand my ground like a rock and argue like a man. Liking words and being as descriptive as possible, I can put my thoughts together and hit a bulls eye target a million miles away with 100% accuracy.
It took me a while after Brooke's dad and I separated to break the bad habit of out-loud, name-calling, because my next relationship wasn't deaf. I often found myself cringing [Oh crap, he heard that!].
Fast forward to 44 years old, being a single mom for 18+ years and what I have is decades of well-honed arguing skills.
Communication is key in a loving relationship and I found this awesome book that love and respect must be unconditional.
God created men and women differently. We are wired differently and communication is the biggest challenge when we are wired to think differently, feel differently, hear differently, look at things differently and speak a different language.
Women tend to be relationship (love)-oriented and men tend to be achievement (respect)-oriented.
He speaks a "respect language" and us girls speak a "love language."
Neither are wrong, just different.
It all funnels down to this ...
WITHOUT LOVE, SHE REACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.
WITHOUT RESPECT, HE REACTS WITHOUT LOVE.
We were made differently on purpose to become whole together.
Love is a choice. I choose to speak his respect language.
I have a lot of work ahead of me to learn to speak his respect language. It is like learning to speak a foreign language when all I have spoken for four decades is English.
This journey is important to me, because he is important to me and so is love.
