Where did time go?
How did 18 years disappear like a vapor into thin air?
When did my Mariah reach adulthood when just yesterday she was placed in my arms for the 1st time? I vividly remember my very first thought when I saw her beautiful round face, "Thank you God, she has dark hair."
Her first bath. Her first words. Her first little Indian papoose Halloween costume. Her large almond shaped eyes that never missed a single thing. Alert and wanting to see everything.
Her first day of kindergarten when I cried feeling as if I was throwing my little girl to the wolves and I could no longer protect her.
I blinked and she was entering into high school.
Sports. First dances. First boyfriends. Her first kiss. Her first heartbreak.
Getting her driver's license and two back-to-back fender benders. That first phone call, "Mom, I'm fine, but I've been in an accident" and the fear that raced through my veins needing to know she was okay.
All the years invested in motherhood and being there, turning into best friends. Covering her in kisses once upon a time, to embracing her in hugs still every day. Me, her most trusted confidante.
It's hitting me, this reality of life. I knew it was coming, but it has always seemed a lifetime away.
Nostalgia fills my mind, she was just placed in my arms, then it feels as if it is the first day of kindergarten all over again. I am throwing her to the wolves of real life and I cannot protect her.
I used to say, "At least I know where they are every night" when both my girls were tucked safely in bed.
Now I say a million prayers, "Please keep her safe, Lord. Keep 10,000 angels around her protecting her."
Where did 18 years go?
Welcome to adulthood, my sweet baby girl. I'm not ready for this.
