I will start by saying, I am so glad that milestone trip is behind us. I don't like Indiana. I don't enjoy the six hour drive to her dad's home town. I don't want to spend a weekend, where there already isn't enough time in the day to do everything I need to do and accomplish to spend two full days to visit a grave.
But, this isn't about me.
The sun was shining we played our favorite music on the iPod and sang most of the way there. Shopped, cha-ching. Went to a new restaurant, always fun. Loved the huge jacuzzi in our hotel room, a wonderful way to wake up in the morning.
Then faced what we came for. We took a happy birthday balloon, a letter Brooke wrote to her daddy and a picture that we taped to his grave, and she lit a cupcake to recognize what would have been his 51st birthday.
"May I have some alone time?" Brooke asked and she sat on the ground while I walked away. My heart broke for my little girl sitting at her daddy's grave crying.
Moments continue to happen that I am not prepared for. Moments that don't seem real even as they are happening.
She fell asleep crying in the car we began our trip back home in silence.
I was relieved when she woke up happy. The grief, tears, and sadness slept off.
In Brooke's transition with her new hair style and needing new clothes she asked if we could go shopping again on the way home. We hit the jackpot at a shopping outlet.
Why not?
My daughter is changing from a little girl to a young woman. She wanted to shed the hairstyle she has had since she was little and wants a new wardrobe to match her new teen style.
Sometimes in life we need a fresh and new start.
After 2 years we faced the dreaded visit to her daddy's grave and now it's behind us. I believe it was a very necessary step in Brooke's healing process and in typical this-mom fashion, we made the most of the roadtrip to Indiana.
