I woke up this morning so refreshed and realized it was the first night in well over a month that I have slept through the night.
Not once did I wake up, let alone my typical 5-6 times.
Normal to many. A pleasant and welcomed success to me. Refreshed.
I'm still sitting still and God feels very distant. I pray, but I feel like my lifeline has been severed. There is a familiar comfort with this pattern in my life. In the midst of turmoil, I feel God is in my presence at all times. What I've learned through life lessons and experience is He is my Comforter in times of need and trouble. I've learned to sit still and plug into God when the storms rage.
As the storm calms, God always feels distant. I pray, but I cannot find him. I used to feel panic and did not understand, but I've learned that the worst part of the storm is over and while I have learned to be comfortable setting still, it's a sign it's time to get out of the waiting room.
I think I have figured this dynamic out and I cannot wait someday to have this conversation with my holy God.
God feels a million miles away and as I call him, I cannot find him. I know He is there, but I am familiar with the gentle nudging that I'm out of harms way.
Storms are scary and highly uncomfortable. A perfect storm shakes the earth beneath me and will test my endurance and my patience. I often believe it is meant to test my faith, but what it always does is it secures it. It sharpens it. It rejuvenates it. It takes me to the very place where I am in constant and direct connection with God.
After my storms, I am stronger.
What is meant to hurt me, strengthens me. What is meant to take me out mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially is simply an opportunity for God to show His power and protection in many silver lining ways.
God is distant, it's time for me to get out of the waiting room!
