Double-stuffed Cookie Cake

"I'll bring cookie cake!"  I can just hear Brooke now proudly announcing to her whole class.

Brooke likes the "WOW" effect and she likes class parties. Always readily volunteering to bring the best dessert when other mothers get to bake.

What's wrong with good old fashioned homemade chocolate chip cookies? They make a home smell delicious! What they don't do however is give the wide-eyed "it's a party!" presentation with a sugar explosive taste of double-stuffed chocolate chip cookie cake, all-inclusive with sweet icing filling, and autumn leaf rings for a few lucky students.

Again, Brooke won the unspoken best dessert presentation at the class party.

Presentation is important to Brooke, a quality I fully appreciate and respect. I just wish she would stop volunteering for every class party or event; however, I guiltily admit this mom was thrilled to see a few pieces make it home!

The Reality Of It All

After an unsuccessful college tour this afternoon, I picked up the phone to call Mariah's dad and blast him about what an entitled brat we have.

The phone at his house rang and rang and rang ... he never did answer. It was during the phone ringing that reality hit me hard.

The reality of it all is I am calling a dying dad, to purge my frustrations about our daughter. He already feels guilty because he's dying, I can't imagine the day he has probably had already trapped in his own body to have me, the mother of his daughter, coming unglued.

Then, the realization that soon I won't even be able to place team-parenting phone calls to him anymore. Really I shouldn't be so selfish and be doing it now.

But I need to.

I need to be able to be a mom, be frustrated at my teenager daughter and call him to discuss a plan of action, because that's what we always used to do. Even if it was more me yelling and venting (he has the passive personality), he kind of had to listen and he did because we had a daughter together and these conversations were so few and far between.

I don't have that anymore.

Eric needs to be okay dying, knowing I will and can handle all obstacles in life when it comes to Mariah. He has to be able to trust me when he isn't here, yet I know he already does.

I need someone to be there though.

Thank you, God, that I have one that I can place a single phone call to in what I think is a calm and rationale voice, "Hey, can you talk?" A warm and immediate response, "What's wrong?" That familiarity is like a balm on my heart. Unspoken words that say it's okay, cry and tell me.

I cry. I vent. I purge every injustice and frustration without buffering my language or my thoughts until I do my own mental check winding down, did I cover my every detail? Yep. Now breathe.

My emotions uncensored and raw.

The reality of it all is I have a teen and pre-teen, soon both without dads. I can and will handle every obstacle that comes our way, but in between I claim being human and I will have my own moments and days where I need to be able to have team-parenting conversations with another.

Thank you, Jesus!

My mornings just got better.

With summer turning to autumn I'm adjusting my outdoor sunshine activities to busy indoor activities, mostly classes my gym membership offers.

This week I have found a new passion.

One of my all-time favorite television series is Will & Grace. Excellent writers, amazing casts. Karen & Jack are my favorites. This week by accident, I found Will & Grace is on television daily at 8:00 a.m. Thank you, Jesus!

I hop on my elliptical in front of the television and thus begin my new morning routine.

At a 30 degree incline and moving at a fast pace after 30 minutes, I was thrilled to see another episode of Will & Grace plays at 8:30 a.m. (Another pleasant surprise and I'm quickly calculating exactly how much time every morning I will have on the elliptical.). I'm also needing a shower! When I remember ... my Nordic elliptical machine has a fan on it. Thank you, Jesus!

Whom ever thought of a built-in fan on an elliptical is genius.

The writer's of Will & Grace, genius.

New morning routine blending favorite comedy with exercise, genius.

When things go well and life brings about pleasant surprises, in our household we often say "thank you, Jesus!"

This morning was one of those days.

The School For The Arts

Brooke took her favorite 7th grade teacher examples of her art work she likes to create at home. Her teacher was so impressed, she told Brooke later in the day that she emailed the program director at the high schools School of the Arts, which is an arts program in dance, drama, music, and visual art about Brooke!

I do take the time to appreciate my daughters teachers that make a positive impact in their lives. I find it to be the balance when I have to go up against the difficult ones.

Your email totally made my day! It means so much to me to know Brooke loves how this year is going and that she enjoys having me as a teacher. She lights up my day and I look forward to seeing her face each and every day. Thank you for raising such a kind, creative, thoughtful young lady. She is an asset to our class and to my life! :)

Also, I have encouraged Brooke to consider being part of the School for the Arts in high school. The curriculum focuses on each student's creativity and Brooke would love the smaller classes, the artistic flare, and the incredible teachers. I think it would be a perfect fit for her! If you both decide you are interested in this you can contact ***** *******, Brooke would have to apply in 8th grade then go through an interview process. Should you have more questions you can of course contact me at any time but the director of the program would be the best person to contact. Her email is ... Obviously, this is just something to think about and by no means do you two have to make a decision now. I just wanted you both to give it some thought!

Again, I thank you for your kind words and for allowing me to be a part of Brooke's life. Please let me know if you need anything at all.

Respectfully,

Mrs. *********

The School for the Arts sounds perfect for my musical, artistic and award-winning drama child.

I Am An Advocate

I am a mom; therefore, I am an advocate.

 

Ms. ******,

 

From the very beginning of this school year my daughter, Brooke, was mortified to receive a lunch detention. The principle behind the lunch detention is that she has done something wrong and gotten into trouble. She has never had a detention in life and this year alone you have given her several.

 

Brooke has explained that she didn't complete a math assignment or failed to show her work, etc. I told her not to worry about it, but detentions are very upsetting to her.

 

Daily, I hear about lunch detentions that are passed out to students as daily practice. Please feel free to contact me and Brooke can work or complete assignments at home. Lunch detentions have historically been for poor behavior and that is not the case with my daughter. Should she have poor behavior, by all means a lunch detention is fine. I do not want her to receive another lunch detention for an incomplete assignment. She is too good of a girl and a student to have constant reprimands that are not used as such a tool by other teachers.

 

Please feel free to contact me if you wish to meet in person.

 

Thank you,

Dawn

 

After sending this email, I asked Brooke after school the next day if she attended her detention. She said, "Mom, Ms. ****** walked up to the board in front of everyone and erased every students list of detentions and said there will be no more detentions, at the beginning of class. Everyone looked at each other, was a little nervous, and didn't know what to do."

 

We live in a community where our school system is rated in the Top 20 out of over 600 in the state. Still, in an excellent school system, I advocate for my daughters. I have a voice.

 

Brooke said, "She abused her control." Brooke was right and in mom-fashion I went straight to the source.

 

I intended this communication for my daughter only, but I am happy to know she respectfully took it well and extended the courtesy to the rest of the students.

 

 

 

Guilty Pleasures

Finally, someone else gets it!  My theory, turned mantra, that guilty pleasures are important in your life.

Today Dr. Oz's show was based on "Guilty Pleasures: To help you live longer." Dr. Oz said that guilty pleasures are critical to your health. That they naturally recharge you in ways that nothing else can.

So many people wear a too busy of a lifestyle and burnout as a badge of honor. Burnout is exactly that, burnout. There is nothing left of you or for anyone else when you don't replenish your own soul with things in life that you enjoy.

You cannot hope someone will come along and etch out time for you to rejuvenate and replenish. Do that for yourself! Besides nobody knows what you are secretly longing for at the moment.

I wanted princess cut diamond earrings, so I bought them. When I want fresh flowers in my kitchen, I buy them. When I want to read a book in the sunshine, enjoy sushi with a girlfriend, indulge in the richest most chocolatey dessert I can find, when I want to twirl on a dance floor listening to live music, laugh having drinks with friends, when I want to buy myself something sexy at Victorias Secret, go on a spontaneous road trip, enjoy nature, take a hot bath with candles, when I need time with my girlfriends, when I need time with a significant other, I find the time and I make it happen.

It's finding balance. Balance between responsibilities and pleasure.

Laugh. Indulge. Refreshen.

Do the little things in life you enjoy that you never make time for anymore. It's true, they will naturally recharge in ways that nothing else can.

Thank you Dr. Oz for reminding everyone that guilty pleasures are a good thing, not bad.

Ahhhh ... guilty pleasures. The very place in my mind where I want to lose myself, breathe in deeply and exhale.

Be heart smart, it's critical to your health, Dr. Oz said so!

Her Daddy's Cologne

A while back I blogged about my daughter Brooke afraid that she can no longer smell her daddy's scent on his ruby ring, her one cherished possession from him, and she fears she is forgetting him.

Tonight we she received a gift from her dad's girlfriend, Roann, who is now our family friend. She came over to visit with us and catch up on life. Opening the door to greet her, there she stood with a suitcase. I laughingly asked if she was moving in.

The suitcase was Brooke's dads and it was full of the last of the possessions Roann had of him. She is moving on in a new and happy relationship and  was ready to let go of them. An unexpected treasure for my little girl.

Brooke was excited and said she wanted to open the suitcase in privacy. After our visit came to an end, I went to see what treasures my daughter found ... pictures of her daddy, clothes, shoes, slippers, hats and a bottle of his cologne.

The olfactory sense that triggers familiarity. Now my little girl will not ever ever forget her daddy's scent.

Thank you, Roann.