A couple of months ago, the day I ended my True North study was the very same day I began my new job at a group home foundation for girls, that had no girls. I was absolutely certain that was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I quit December 22nd.
The foundation was illegitimate.
As much as I knew that was exactly where I was supposed to be with every sign under heaven, I still believe it.
It was a test of character, integrity, and values for me and along the way I made a wonderful new friend, Lauri. I believe I needed her as much as maybe she needed me.
There I was two days before Christmas unemployed, which means no money coming in whatsoever.
I felt refreshed and saved getting out of there as if it were my own special Christmas gift; yet, there is a certain blend of uncertainty, fear, and faith.
God is often referred to as the husband to the husbandless. Many times in my life when I knew I had nothing left of myself and lost my passion to move mountains I have handed situations over to God and said as plain and clearly as He was standing in front of me in my home, "This is yours, please handle it."
Let me share with you two things that have happened that makes me smile and look to heaven ... taking the stuff out of my old purse to put into my new Brighton purse on Christmas day, I found a 1-week paycheck I had forgotten to cash. I'm not sure how I forgot that, but it buys me a month without worry.
The day after Christmas, there was one piece of mail in my mailbox. It was a letter from a doctors office that initially looked as if I owed $35.00 on an appointment from over two years ago. I was instantly aggravated, because I never leave bills unpaid. Re-reading it, it was a letter stating I had unclaimed funds of $35.00 they owe me.
This is not me "testing" God and I don't recommend it. This is me in a very honest place that I cannot do alone and handing to Him.
I don't undertand why certain things happen along the way in life.
Brooke continues to push boundaries farther than ever dreamed and I can only become more open as a mom to what is tough love when chaos fills my home and I cannot trust her out of my sight.
I am thankful for Christmas. So many times I was at my wits end between my job and Brooke that I imagined God doing the peace symbol with His hands pointing to His eyes saying, "Keep your eyes on Me. Focus on Me." And I did.
I made Christmas everything that it was with my eyes on Jesus. Knowing that while life isn't perfect on earth, I will have my happily ever after only because of Him. No matter what happens with Brooke by her choices in life, she will have happily ever after because of her faith in God. She will face unlimited consequences, but her name/salvation cannot be erased in God's holy book.
So much needs to happen right now and I don't know how things will work out, but I know my God, and I know they always do.
