I honestly cannot imagine going through my pictures, slowly passing them to my daughters, knowing I was going to die soon.
When Mariah says, "My dad gave me more things" I can feel the weight of pressure on my chest as I hold my breath afraid to breathe not knowing how she will handle sharing with me gifts he gave her that were so important to him.
A tin box full of pictures of him and I before we were married, when we were married, together with me pregnant, with Mariah as a baby, and a prayer.
On the back of our family picture, just the three of us, Mariah had to be maybe 5 months old, he wrote, "The two most important loves of my life. Lord, please keep them safe and secure in your loving arms."
Written and dated 9/4/97, three months after our divorce.
Sometimes I can't help but cry.
I look at the pictures and they seem a lifetime ago. I look at the picture of a young girl who is so different than who I am today and there are so many things I wish I could tell her. There would be no words to prepare her for what the next 20 years would look like, all that would happen, how she would change, but that she would be okay.
I don't know how little time Eric has left and my heart breaks for him how he must feel handing our daughter pictures and momentos of his life that he treasured so much.
He tells Mariah to show his nurse how pretty your mom is. I knew he was always proud of me and that he still likes to introduce me as Mariah's mom (his ex-wife).
Eric & me one year before we were married ... a lifetime ago.
