Graduate Class of 2018

Sleeping in every day, a slight increase in her hours at work, spending the evenings with Alex or a group of girlfriends she hangs out with, I asked her how she likes being out of school?

"I knew I would like it, but I didn't realize how good it would feel!" 

Cap and gown pick up today. TGIF tomorrow. Home inspection Saturday. A 3-day Memorial Day weekend. Graduation Tuesday. Sunny and 80's.

Thank you, God! 

My Sun, Moon & Stars

Oh, Sofia, you are my sun, moon and stars.

I love your crazy hair, sissy! Her hair is getting thick and fluffy and it suits her personality so well.

My precious granddaughter is quite the bulldozer. She is a bit rough on things and I was amazed when she in baby strength was lifting her baby bouncing seat off the floor, several times. She looked like Bam Bam from the Flinstones and I just watched her.

She gets pent up energy and will lock her arms and grunt. I'm certain this terrifies other babies uncertain of what she is capable of. That's okay sweet girl, a healthy fear is a good thing! [laughing]

Those big brown eyes and a beautiful smile and thank God for your kissable skin, because you are one loved little girl with nothing but love and attention.

I love you, Sofia.

xo

Exhale

Exams are finished, she made it ...

    An offer on my home accepted ...

                                                   ... exhale.

Thank you, God.

A Facetime call to my Sofia while they are in Kentucky visiting family and I see from the Facetime in the living down the hall into the kitchen, my precious granddaughter on the floor with her cousins bent over talking/playing with her and I say, "Sofia, it's grandmomma!" 

At the distance she hears me and little arms start waving, chubby little legs start kicking, she knows. My heart bursts with love.

That sweet, little face excited to see me on Facetime talking to her and her little cousins popping over her shoulder to see who Sofia is talking to. Me saying hello to all of them.

There are so many things to be grateful for. 

Her Super Hero Cape

My sweet Sofia came over last night while her mommy & daddy had some things to do.

I was caught off guard when a few minutes after being dropped off she went from being happy and smiling to her little mouth turned down, the bottom lip pushed out and the tears began. I seldom ever hear her cry and I'm around a lot. She fusses when she's overly tired, but this was tears filling her eyes looking up at me in an "I'm hurting" cry. My heart broke.

Quick! Baby pain meds, her teeth are really hurting her. She was sleepy and a poopy diaper.

Aunt Brooke jumped for the baby pain meds, I can change a diaper pretty quick, snuggling with a bottle while kissing her soft cheeks calmed the storm. Ten minutes later she was back to 100%.

Great Grammy & Papa came over to see their sweet great granddaughter and little miss Sofia was loved on and entertained.

"Look mommy, at Grandmomma's house I get to relax in the tub while wearing my super hero cape and have a snack. Grandmomma doesn't care at all if I make a mess, I wash right off!"

Oh, Sofia, how much do I love thee? More than the stars in the sky and the fish in the sea.

Between Two Addresses

My home is for sale and I've run out of checks.

I'm caught between two addresses.

I have my apartment address, you know, the one with the "Aha!" moment and all the bells and whistles? Well, my home hasn't sold and while they will hold my brand new, never lived in apartment until August, I can't help but wonder if the delay in my home being sold is divine intervention.

What if I'm not meant to be there?

Isn't it odd to think of selling your home, the one that has been your oasis and you've raised your family in not really certain where you'll go after 15 years of residential stability? What is Plan B if my home sells and I've released my apartment? 

While that should be the forefront of my mind, I find I am worried more about ordering checks and wondering what address is going on them, as if anyone even really uses checks anymore. 

It really is an odd transition and somehow I am at peace knowing where ever I land, is exactly where I am supposed to be. 

A resort-style swimming pool, tiki bar, patio grills, a state of the art fitness center, movie theater and free 24/7 Starbucks sounds logical. Then, I think while this new oasis has a dog park, if I had a neighbor with a barking dog, God knows my Christianity would be tested.

What comes next is meant to be.

4 Generations

Mother's Day was a perfect day for our 4 generations photo.

My Mom, me, Sofia, and Mariah ...

Chubbilicious Snugglicious is quite the armful! We are crazy about each other!

Mother's Day Blessings

There I sat in church by myself as the pastor was talking about Mother's Day. Mentioning Mother's Day is a hard day for so many, mothers who have lost a child, a mother has passed, a woman who has not been able to give birth, or a mom who has given their child up. My tears were falling and I'm certain I looked hurt.

They were actually happy tears. Odd, huh? Yep. Once I found out I was going to be a grandmother, I find I get emotional even when happy.

Perhaps it's love spilling out when outwardly I am not showing exuberance.

I woke up happy and was surprised when I came into the kitchen and Brooke had a banner of lyrics beautifully written as a Mother's Day wish. She had the coffee pot set and there sat a spiral album of my granddaughter and my family.

Brooke's goal is always waterworks, she was still sleeping and missed the show.

Then I see a small note written in the middle of the banner and the gift and it said,

For the most

perfect mother 

in the world

<3 Brooke

Perfect. 

That word stuck with me that she would chose that word to describe how she sees me.

I'm sitting in church and as the pastor is talking, the memories of years ago play like a movie reel in my mind. The years we battled so hard. Locking horns like mighty rams.

God never gives you more than you can handle, yet He gave me her and knew I could handle it. He provided the strength as the weeks, months and years blurred into battles and brokenness and I met her at every ugly boundary.

The years she really wanted to quit life and that dark place that I went to as a mom that only God really knows. 

Those years have passed and it's safe to say our whole family is celebrating she made it to graduation.

Nobody gave up on her. I think of kids hurting in pain and families worn out turning their backs. Don't. 

She is graduating. She's happy. She's in love. 

Healing happens.

Both my girls often reference who I love the most. Good grief is that exhausting. The truth is, when Brooke was in her darkest hours, weeks, months and years, I never once loved her an ounce less than Mariah. 

And on this Mother's Day as I am sitting in church with happy tears. I'm thinking of my little girl who made it, when the bowels of hell tried to destroy her. Yet, today my relationship with her is extremely close and I know I am her best friend. 

My Mariah's Mother's Day card to me had a repeating theme about being a strong woman.

Alex, Brooke's fiance thinks of me as fearless. That is a healthy respect I'm glad he has for me. 

My family all together. Everyone happy. My beautiful granddaughter whom I love so, so dearly, I am grateful.

It was such a good Mother's Day and as I reflect over the last 21 years of being a single mom, I am blessed beyond measure for the relationship I have with both my daughters, my son-in-law(s), and granddaughter. 

Don't think for a second I don't look back and remember everything it took to get here.

It was so worth it.