Thank you, God, it is raining!
I am exhausted and my whole body hurts, I just need an evening where I am forced to slow down, park it on the couch, catch up on favorite DVR'd shows and rest. This is the point of summer where I squeeze in the last of all I want to do now through October and look forward to hibernating for winter.
And, thank you, Jesus, I am home alone! Brooke and Alex are heading to see Mariah, Jeremy and Sofia this evening.
Brooke begins her Senior year this Monday and she is so excited. Me, I was excited when my last ever back-to-school shopping trip was accomplished. I felt as if I had crossed the finish line for sending two daughters off to school well prepared for over two decades.
School supply lists, specific school supplies. Store to store, crowds of moms checking off their lists dragging their kids through aisles, and the expen$e of it all!
I'm done. Thank you, God!
So many unexpected life changes. I feel as if I was in a tornado and the winds have finally calmed and my life is so different.
Nothing was untouched. It's been six months.
My granddaughter's life puts so much into perspective. What is important and love.
There is so much noise in life, so many distractions that turn our heads, which turn our paths and sometimes we find ourselves far away from what we want. From where we want to be. Satan has to laugh at noise and busyness, watching people run in a million directions, unable to hear their own thoughts or heart.
My Sofia is one of the greatest gifts in my life. She is everything that is good and perfect and pure wrapped in a velvety soft snuggle with a sweet baby scent. And those cheeks! The whole world can slip away and disappear when I am with her.
She is significant in my life. There is a connection between us and I am so grateful that Mariah & Jeremy openly share her life with me. An open door to have as much time as I want and I am drawn to her and the peace, happiness, life and hope that she is.
Once upon a time, I remember the moment I knew significance. It is like a still small voice that almost audibly and says, "This is it, this is significance ..." and everything changes. You suddenly know when you've never known it before.
While everything changed, the significance didn't. That's being honest after the hurt and the loss and unknowns I couldn't stand up against. My life completely changed, but significance still remains significant. There is just no explanation, but I'm glad because I knew it was real for me and real isn't supposed to fade. I wouldn't want it to.
Now, I keep my eyes on my granddaughter. She is everything good and perfect and she shushes the noise in my life and brings everything into perspective.
I no longer need the noise and the busyness to distract me just to get through another day. I had to then, I couldn't breathe.
Six months. It doesn't even seem possible, yet life made it entirely possible.
Life can be it's most harsh, than become breathtaking and beautifully perfect wrapped in the sweetest little bundle. There is a conflict of emotions of loss and pain in the same environment as moments of pure love and happiness. To be where you never wanted to be, then hold in my arms love beyond what I could never imagine.
Two extreme emotions coexisting together.
