When I met his cousin last week, she is a professional singer, daughter of a famous musician, word spread like wildfire through his family that he met someone and I was absolutely beautiful!
His family blew up his phone for a week in the sweetest way and I had the opportunity to talk to a few on the phone before we met.
I found it almost impossible to believe it has been a couple of years since he has dated. Everything he naturally is, it didn't make sense. His family confirmed all this.
We took a road trip in the sunshine and went to his hometown to meet his family yesterday and I walked into a warm welcome.
I really, really like his family. They are close and hugging and warm-welcoming and loud and in each others business, and I instantly felt comfortable in my sometimes quiet way taking everything in.
His mom loves her boys and they are loving and good to her. She is kind and asked questions wanting to know me in a way a mom would who wants to know who has captured her sons heart. She anxiously anticipated our arrival and I instantly learned what was important to her and I learned more about him.
He was raised in a strong Christian family by a father who was a pastor and the whole family built on the foundation of their church.
I am learning about his dad who was his best friend and died many years ago. A man who held his son with a wild spirit accountable that became such a good man. Family is his foundation and I was honored that not only was it important to him that I meet them, but that they all blew his phone up so they could meet me.
Only those closest to me understand the significance of this to my heart.
Monday, March 6, 2017
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Serendipity
BIG unexpected step yesterday! I introduced Brooke to this amazing new man who has walked into my life so unexpectedly that everything became a game-changer.
I woke up and told Brooke that I may be introducing her to him far more quickly than I had any intention to, because I really, really, really like him a lot and I can see significance with him.
She is hope-filled for me and has been asking a lot of questions about him. Happy to see me happy, she feels I deserve so much more than what my life has been.
Spur of the moment decision, introductions happened.
"Mom! I really like him!" she whispered to me at the first given opportunity. "I heard him tell you you are beautiful," which meant everything to Brooke.
She resented that I didn't hear those words she felt I should have lavishly heard for years that she over-compensated for. She hated that once in a while I was told sparingly that, "I looked nice." Brooke thinks I am beautiful, she is so proud of me and loves me deeply.
Brooke was a champ! Typically, she participates in small doses of family and friends polite conversation then retreats quietly. She engaged and laughed and actively participated in conversations with him and us for hours. She shared her art, her love of music, and who she is as her very own unique person. I knew she would like him.
I knew he would make her quickly comfortable because that is who he is.
I feel like there is supposed to be an invisible appropriate time frame to allow for healing from a 4-year breakup. It was my plan was to detox for months with no dating. That seems the emotionally responsible thing to do for my heart. In fact, that is exactly what I have done throughout this last year of our relationship that became a pattern of brokenness.
Perhaps, I painfully detoxed along the way and it made me ready for such a time as this.
I see his value and I see his worth.
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Greatness
Greatness is a euphoric moment when something in us comes alive. A trigger that opens a portal like a song that puts a knowing smile on our face and a beat in our heart.
My First Baby Purchase
Set up in my home waiting for the arrival of my grand baby, I made my first purchase a Pack n Play.
Browsing baby stores, I was in awe to see all the new and improved baby items that are out since 17 years ago. So many bells and whistles.
Mariah and I went to brunch and looking at baby stores. As soon as we walked in I saw this Graco Pack n Play. It was the gender neutral colors that match my prayer room/office that will transition into the baby's space, bright and happy with two windows for sunshine. This Pack n Play was color perfect and less than 1/2 the original price had me doing a happy dance.
Literally. The guy behind the counter said, "I believe we just sold that Pack n Play."
It is set up in my office and it suddenly reminds me of 22 years ago when Mariah's baby room was finished when I was 7 months pregnant awaiting her arrival.
Her belly getting bigger with every week that passes, I believe I felt my grand baby yesterday. Nestled safely, active and moving in Mariah's womb, I put my hands on her belly, my eyes closed to enhance my sense of touch, I felt it's slight flutter.
Soon that bundle of love will be sleeping sweetly in a room covered in prayer.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
Noah's Details
I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot predict the future (although I like to have a vision/goal to work towards). Life blindsides me and I cannot see through the storm. "God, speak to me. Which way do I go? Please ... please ... please ..." I listen and wait to hear Him. Never knowing when or what He will say.
I read another blog, because I like her raw and candid honesty. It was her words that jumped off the page at me.
I question myself, what do you do when your hearts desires fall like a soft rain? What do you do when it is no longer a goal that is impossible to reach, then suddenly it is there? What do I do when the little things I've needed for so long for becomes a fresh and new normalcy?
It feels very unsafe. Uncertain territory.
What do I do when it gets bigger than me?
I read another blog, because I like her raw and candid honesty. It was her words that jumped off the page at me.
I question myself, what do you do when your hearts desires fall like a soft rain? What do you do when it is no longer a goal that is impossible to reach, then suddenly it is there? What do I do when the little things I've needed for so long for becomes a fresh and new normalcy?
It feels very unsafe. Uncertain territory.
What do I do when it gets bigger than me?
Noah’s Details: Just Start.
Did you know that God brought all of the animals to Noah? Because maybe I missed that day of Sunday school, or maybe it just never occurred to me to connect those dots, but I guess I missed that detail along the way. I think I always thought that Noah sent his sons all over the earth for a great animal kingdom round-up. But I just found this realization, and I love everything about it.
Recent studies estimate that the total kinds of living and extinct land animals and flying creatures were about 1,500. And the ‘worst-case scenario’ calculates that Noah may have cared for as many as 7,000 animals. If I were Noah, that would have stopped me in my tracks. On a number of levels.
I know myself fairly well, and I know that upon God’s instructions, I would have been like, “Right, so I’ve got this blue print for a boat, and that’s going to take me a few years for starters, but then what? All these animals? How in the world will I manage that? I can’t imagine tracking down all those animals, so I better not even start a project I can’t finish.”
But Noah got right to work when God told him to build the ark, and he did everything exactly as God asked him to do it. Meanwhile, all of creation followed God’s instruction as well, and two of each kind found their way to Noah’s ark. All the little husband-and-wife bunnies, snakes, lions, tigers, and bears.
So often, I do just the opposite of Noah. I worry about details down the road, when a) I have no control over them, and b) that’s not what’s in front of me to do right now. There are things right in front of me to do, and I can start there. Noah had measurements and wood, and he got started. He didn’t get himself all spun up over what would happen later, he just got to work now.
Is there something in front of you that’s waiting to begin? Are you putting it off because you can’t figure out how you’ll finish it when it gets bigger than you?
Just start.
If God has asked you to do something, get started. Don’t neglect your calling because you don’t have a plan for when this gets bigger than you.
There are things you can begin doing now. Learning, reading, studying. Working on your attitude and your relationships. Taking responsibility for your responsibilities. Don’t worry yet about how you’ll sell the book or find the market or launch the platform or sell the tickets or promote the business or finish well. When it’s time, God will bring you what you need so you can do what he’s asked you to do.
He brought together the entire animal kingdom for a year-long cruise. Surely what you need is less than that.
Be like Noah. Concentrate on what God has given you to do. Leave the rest to God.
Recent studies estimate that the total kinds of living and extinct land animals and flying creatures were about 1,500. And the ‘worst-case scenario’ calculates that Noah may have cared for as many as 7,000 animals. If I were Noah, that would have stopped me in my tracks. On a number of levels.
I know myself fairly well, and I know that upon God’s instructions, I would have been like, “Right, so I’ve got this blue print for a boat, and that’s going to take me a few years for starters, but then what? All these animals? How in the world will I manage that? I can’t imagine tracking down all those animals, so I better not even start a project I can’t finish.”
But Noah got right to work when God told him to build the ark, and he did everything exactly as God asked him to do it. Meanwhile, all of creation followed God’s instruction as well, and two of each kind found their way to Noah’s ark. All the little husband-and-wife bunnies, snakes, lions, tigers, and bears.
So often, I do just the opposite of Noah. I worry about details down the road, when a) I have no control over them, and b) that’s not what’s in front of me to do right now. There are things right in front of me to do, and I can start there. Noah had measurements and wood, and he got started. He didn’t get himself all spun up over what would happen later, he just got to work now.
Is there something in front of you that’s waiting to begin? Are you putting it off because you can’t figure out how you’ll finish it when it gets bigger than you?
Just start.
If God has asked you to do something, get started. Don’t neglect your calling because you don’t have a plan for when this gets bigger than you.
There are things you can begin doing now. Learning, reading, studying. Working on your attitude and your relationships. Taking responsibility for your responsibilities. Don’t worry yet about how you’ll sell the book or find the market or launch the platform or sell the tickets or promote the business or finish well. When it’s time, God will bring you what you need so you can do what he’s asked you to do.
He brought together the entire animal kingdom for a year-long cruise. Surely what you need is less than that.
Be like Noah. Concentrate on what God has given you to do. Leave the rest to God.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
The Treasures of Our Heart
I believe God instills in us every detail we are down to the treasures of our hearts. The longings that are in us from the very beginning that determine our wants, hopes and dreams.
The right circumstances bring life to these treasures like sunshine and a soft rain. Other circumstances squelch these treasures into a hidden place that sometimes becomes forgotten and sometimes becomes a battle ground to hold onto.
Blessed is she who has believed the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.
If I battle for anything, may it be for the longings and treasures of my heart. The little things that are everything that are part of my makings and were planted as treasures in me from the beginning.
May I never let go of my own hearts desires or compromise on what is important to me.
To squelch what is most important to me is a certain death.
I believe my Maker will fulfill His promises he created in me.
The right circumstances bring life to these treasures like sunshine and a soft rain. Other circumstances squelch these treasures into a hidden place that sometimes becomes forgotten and sometimes becomes a battle ground to hold onto.
blessed
1.
consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified
2.
worthy of adoration, reverence, or worship
3.
divinely or supremely favored; fortunate
4.
blissfully happy or contented
5.
bringing happiness and thankfulness
Blessed is she who has believed the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.
If I battle for anything, may it be for the longings and treasures of my heart. The little things that are everything that are part of my makings and were planted as treasures in me from the beginning.
May I never let go of my own hearts desires or compromise on what is important to me.
To squelch what is most important to me is a certain death.
I believe my Maker will fulfill His promises he created in me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)