I've recognized as I have gotten older in life that breakthrough in an unknown area puts a target right on my back and spiritual warfare becomes hell breaking loose.
The more aware I've become, the more I listen, the easier I recognize the signs and I have no idea what on earth I am up against, which becomes what the heck is about to happen in my life that invisible powers wants stopped?
It starts off feeling unsettled as if I am ready to break out of the waiting room into a new season in life, open, willing and always ready for whatever comes next, then havoc wants to break loose.
Havoc can be a target on my back where big, significant things go wrong all at once. As if a wave wants to take me out, but I keep breathing. Havoc can also come in the forms of beautiful temptations in areas of my life when I am my weakest.
Blessings and temptations blur together in a way that I cannot even sort which is for my good and which is perfectly wrong.
I have books that I read over and over and I cannot think of the book where it perfectly states Satan knows and brings such confusion. It was so beautifully put, that I have said, "YES! This! This is exactly what happens!" But, I cannot find that book. I need to find those words of clarity.
What if blessings weren't blessings but perfect temptations and what if temptations seem like temptations but are blessings?
We have choices we have to make.
I am in direct contact with God, "Your will God, not mine." I cannot see into future unknowns and I also have a horrible history of always getting it wrong. I remind God to please not forget the secret desires of my heart.
I am seeking and I am getting glimpses of answers, then a second wave hits me and I question again, what if temptations seem like temptations but are blessings and what if the blessings weren't blessings but perfect temptations.
What is changing? I can feel it.
