Soul Mates

My mom asked if I had given her a book regarding soul mates.  I hadn’t and she asked if I wanted it for Billy.

Two thoughts immediately raced in my mind: I don’t believe in soul mates, I remembered being asked as a teenager if I believed in soul mates and I could hear my naïve and romantic reply as why I did, then.

I accepted the book and flipped through the pages to make sure it didn’t say something to the fact that there is only one other soul in the universe, in each persons life, that was meant to bring them a lifetime of happiness.

Sound jaded, huh?  It isn’t.

There have been a couple of men in my life that have taken my soul to places it has never been before. Each teaching me something new about myself I didn’t know existed and filled a unique place in my life. I deeply loved them during those seasons.

Like an answer to a special prayer, God knows what my life needs, every thing is on purpose.

I do believe …

Love is the serenity of the soul. It lives in the deepest part of our heart and sneaks out as often as it can.

Love is home in my heart and my home in his heart. An unspoken understanding.

In my heart is a lasting source of happiness where only the most precious things in my world get to come inside and stay forever.

Each of us has our own love story. Two people with a journey.  Two souls whose paths crossed, on Divine purpose, giving meaning and magic to a million hopes and dreams. An answer to a prayer that I barely got the chance to say. My wish on every single star.

When I say my soul mate, I mean the very one that takes my soul to a magical place. My heart.  My hope.  My strength.  My love.  My friendship.  My own special miracle.

A Bird Nest - Part 2

A few things have happened in the last three weeks since momma bird made her nest.

It was about one week after the next was cleverly engineered that momma bird had her eggs.  I was mowing my yard one evening in preparation for mulch to be delivered when I spotted in my front flower bed four tiny blue eggs.  My heart dropped … she had her eggs outside because the garage door was closed.

As insignificant as it seems, this mother bird painstakingly prepared for her babies to come into this world with more maternal instinct then some humans have and with such a heart for single parenting I had to try to help save these eggs.

I called a wildlife agency that never returned my very detail phone message. I searched the internet and basically learned that if I left the eggs outside, other animals would eat them for their protein.

Knowing you cannot touch a nest or eggs I used two dirt covered shovels to scoop the eggs up, climbed the latter in my garage and carefully placed them in the nest.

“Please come back to your eggs, momma bird.”

She did come back and I was ecstatic!

My garage door is left open as long as possible now. She is a nervous bird.  Momma bird and I run into each other in my garage quite a bit.  She usually flies off wildly.  When I go to walk downstairs I look out the window and see her sitting in her nest and I am filled with relief!

I was on the patio the other evening and momma bird sat on my fence and sang for several minutes.  Then she flew over to the patio and stood there on the patio wall 10 feet away.  It was the closest she has ever been to me by choice. She chirped and chirped.

Nature is simply fascinating.

Simple Expectations

In life I make sure my i’s are dotted and my T’s are crossed. 

My home is very clean and organized.  My yard is maintained with great care of mowing 2x per week, edged, mulched, Round-up on any stray weeds and flowers pots watered daily on my patio. 

The fridge is always full of meat, salad, fresh fruits and enough sweets to get us girls through our sweet cravings. Laundry is kept up, the house stocked with all necessary supplies with every need and want met.

This smooth running system is the norm in our daily life.  This household has the expectant attitude that life is just this way, just as the sun comes up every morning.

With all things that are good, I have failed.  There were no homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies or Mountain Dew in stock this morning. I had a spoiled and disappointed Billy on my hands so I guiltily made breakfast cheerful!

He still grumbles about not having Mariah’s famous cookies and Mountain Dew, he sure likes the comforts of the familiar. We all do, I guess.  The simple things in life we come to expect, that provide comfort, familiarity and routine.

I like having wine in the house. I may not touch it for months, but it is comforting knowing it is there. Brooke (and I) enjoy knowing there is an emergency can of cake icing hidden and available for that sneak spoonful when a bit of chocolate is needed. Mariah seems to like cookies in the cookie jar best. Billy likes to know there is salad and fun toppings available to create one of my fabulous salads at any time and Mountain Dew always in stock.  

Simple expectations. Easy to understand anticipations. One happy and spoiled family.

Loving and Logical

I have my moments where I am simply undone.

It is pretty much always over small and insignificant things that have compiled big enough in my mind to bring out irrational behavior. Then I am done. 

Done is a scary place. Done means, I am so mad that I no longer care. People “get it” when you reach this point of no return and the waters become dangerously unsafe.

Yesterday I had one of these moments and Billy’s good sense kicked in.

He was in my driveway before I knew he was even on his way over to cover me with love. He pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead with soft kisses over and over and over and will do it for however long it takes to make me smile. Irrational dissolves.

He is patient. He is loving. He deeply loves me and I know it.

He steps up and gently takes over.

Loving and logical. Magical and masculine. That boy knows how to calm the storm.

I love my best friend.

Phase 2

Mariah and I are pulling out of our driveway alone in the car together when she says, “Can you believe Mike & I have been dating for two months?” 

“Wow, how do you feel about that?  Do you feel the same way towards him or are your feelings changing?”, I ask.  Mariah admits she feels he is too emotional and he is getting on her nerves. 

My Mariah is not needy or clingy of a boy for attention.  She is healthy and recognizes he is a bit dramatic and her focus and excitement is on summer basketball.  Good call, baby girl! She is 15 years old and emotionally exactly where she needs to be!

Phase 1- “Isn’t love wonderful! <3” is now over.

Mariah asks if Billy gets on my nerves?  Absolutely!  In all our glory and weakness we are human.  Boys are emotional creatures, far more sensitive than women from my perspective. Billy and I have very healthy boundaries that do not come close to arguing. The second he senses my aggravation, he wants to talk about it and ensure we are on the same page or if I am over the top annoyed, he stays clear until I’ve cooled off.  It works for us.

I explain to Mariah that the honeymoon of the relationship, where life is rose colored glasses, blossoming flowers and “he” is perfect … is over.  She has entered Phase 2.

Phase 2 – “You are on my nerves!” My Mariah is just 15 years old. Focus on sports, have fun with your girlfriends, boys will be there forever! 

I like Mike, he is a good boy.  Mariah has no tolerance for clingy and emotional and I couldn’t be happier!

A wholehearted relationship is not possible unless each person is committed to choosing love first.  Not just the big things, but the seemingly small things as well. This will come down the road, when she is much older and ready for a committed relationship. Until then … my hope is my girls graduate, live at home, go to college, secure good jobs, dance, shop, travel, date and no serious boys until they are 30!  =)