Six years later I am still dealing with the aftermath of my daughters dad's suicide before Christmas.
I say that because the aftermath does indeed linger for those who were directly affected by such a selfish act during a bad season of life for him that has become lifelong hurt for everyone else.
Truly, I am grateful it is six years later on this awful suicide anniversary date.
This is the first year I am fine and grief doesn't wear on me like a heavy blanket. I acknowledge this date and am on stand-by for Brooke should she need me, it's been on the back of my mind keeping an eye on her as this date is filled with tragic memories.
Keith actually died on December 17th, but his body was found on the 19th so the Health Department has his death date the 19th. I recognize it the 17th.
Brooke and I went for a delicious dinner at a new restaurant we have never been to, then as the Christmas music filled the car, we drove looking at Christmas lights. I always do little things in celebration without saying why, so if/when they ask, I can say this is how we did something special that day.
I look back over the last six years filled with pain for our daughter and every little detail I've had to endure because of him and all I see is a scar. The wound is healed, the pain has passed, but I see a scar that said a deep wound happened, but it doesn't hurt anymore.
Time heals.
Alex took today off work to spend the day with Brooke to make it special. She is excited for today. A day with him because the thoughtful act does make her feel special.
We've made it through another December 19th.
