10 Traits in a Future Spouse

Brooke's health teacher emailed all the parents informing us of a homework assignment that was given to the students.

Students are to list ten traits that they want in a future spouse. Then, parents are to list ten traits that we would prefer for our child's future spouse. Let me tell ya, it makes you think!

There are limitless qualities that individually are critical, but I could only choose ten.

I tapped in the five love languages to create a solid foundation of needs, then I sprinkled it with qualities that I admire and appreciate and aligns with Brooke's hearts desire.

1. God-seeking. *Not just "I'm a Christian", occasionally goes to church, and claims to know the bible but his actions speak everything otherwise. A man with his heart, priorities and life that is an actually living example and seeks God in all things.

2. A fount of words of affirmations.

3. Strong, healthy & respectful with physical touch.

4. Desires quality time and makes that a priority.

5. A willing heart and follow through with acts of service.

6. Kind. *So underrated but so important. This trickles into so many areas of life.

7. Generous. *A happy and content person pours out love through generosity even when means are little. Example: Mariah's grandmother, great-grandmother and aunt on her dad's side have very little. They have always struggled to just be able to get by in life; however, they love big. They give what they don't have lavishly and always have to the point where I want to say you don't have to give so much, please keep something for yourself. It is the way they love and honestly, it is a beautiful example. They have always lavishly given when they struggle to just live and I've seen that through the decades of how they have given to Mariah and now to Sofia.

8. Funny. *Laughter is magical and makes the heart happy and light.

9. Intellectual. *Brooke is intelligent and desires intellectual conversation. She has always done better with adults than her peers because of this. Interesting topics. She is always thinking and far older than her years. Mentally stimulate my mind and you mentally stimulate my heart.

10. May her and her future spouse learn to love each other more with each passing sunset. *To be an oasis refreshing one another and falling deeper in love with a bond growing stronger each sunset.

There are many more qualities that flood my mind, things are are really important. Traits change. What you like at 20 isn't what you'd pick at 30. The same for the 40's and I already feel that with 50 only years away.

Stability for me at 47 is critical. Not just financially stable, because life happens and the ground shakes, but mentally stable, emotionally stable, ever-present stable. I'm not interested in a dry leaf that blows in wind which ever way the wind blows. Life is already challenging, I desire a stable partner that I can depend on and feel safe with. A rock of stability. My rock.

A man secure with himself. Not a bucket full of holes that can never get filled and needs attention from anyone and everyone. You know the "selfie" type? Them.

Travel and adventure to me is critical. Like the analogy of being unequally yoked, the stronger oxen learns to slow their pace and loses strength so the weaker oxen can keep up. I want a strong partner beside me, challenging me and stimulating me, not making me lose momentum. I want to travel to places I've never been and I want to fall in love with new adventures that I never knew I'd love.

I wondered what Brooke thought of the list I gave her, then she told me she couldn't wait to show Alex. Oh, my Brookie. <3

Good News, Great Joy!

Christmas is magical and my home feels like a warm & comfy cottage rich in tradition and decor. 

A couple years ago I thought it was time to change my decor, there are so many holiday themes to choose from, and I am so glad I didn't. Our colors match our home in familiar comfort with memories with each piece. 

This year I gave my girls "Cookies for Santa" plate and their "Milk for Santa" cup to Mariah for Sofia's 1st Christmas.

I am over the moon excited with her perfect Christmas gift purchased and her beautiful Christmas stocking handmade (approximately 20 hours worth of details) just like Mariah & Brooke's. A keepsake my aunt did for me when I was very young, I have done for my daughters, and now Sofia. 

Christmas has always been magical to me, but this year, even more so.

"But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news

that will cause great joy ..." - Luke 2:10

Sofia's birth and my relationship with her was my good news and she is my great joy. Listening to Christmas music and hearing the words good news, great joy, a baby, in reference to Jesus my heart bursts with love and I think of my most perfect baby granddaughter and how she brings a whole new perspective to Christmas in a way I wasn't expecting. 

Sweet chubbilicious snugglicious is 16 lbs. at 3 months old. Three months seems like such a short period of time, but I've had so much time with her that it actually seems like its been longer than that. 

They say you can't buy time, but I beg to differ. 

This summer I was able to buy time working 4-days per week. That meant every couple of days (weekends & Wednesdays) I would get days spent with her. I'm grateful Mariah & Jeremy gave me an open door pass to their home and to Sofia. Our relationship began the very moment she entered the world, the first time I held her, breathed in her sweet baby scent and time she and I have spent together. 

You cannot build a relationship without time. 

I knew I would love her, but I never fathomed how much in love with her I would be. Her life has been my good news, my great joy and brings me peace and happiness. 

This Christmas when I hear about a baby lying in a manger, the depth of love I have for Sofia highlights a parallel of Jesus's birth, as a babe lying in a manger and the wise men who seek him.

Much like reading the bible, it is alive, and you can read the same books over and over and pick up something totally new each time you read it. All these Christmases and suddenly it feels totally new and different.

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, 

which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find a babe 

wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude

of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace,

good will toward men.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven,

the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto

Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass,

which the Lord hath made known unto us.

And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the 

babe lying in a manger.

And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying 

which was told them concerning the child.

And all that they heard it wondered at those things which were told 

them by the shepherds.

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."

- Luke 2:11-19

I'll Be Home for Christmas

A Heart-Shaped Potato

It was just a good day.

Sometimes it's really hard to leave home. I'm home for days, run like crazy, try and grasp moments of normalcy just being home, then it's time to pack and head out again.

It's hard and sometimes I'm not ready and I cry. Then, I see Polaris and I happy sigh. It reminds me of the majestic mountains of West Virginia I would cross going to my grandmothers house. Those majestic mountains welcome and feel like a protective barrier from everyone behind me. Polaris is alive with newness, incredible growth and activity and new adventure awaits.

A part of my training is 6-weeks worth of studies and exams. Study lectures up to 60 pages each topic and I'm guessing I've taken 30 exams. It is a lot of study and book work in addition to hands on training. I was overwhelmed that first day when everything was new and I was handed a monstrous content book of online studies and I had no idea exams were part of this. Blah! As of today, I took my last exam.

The Area Director sat down with me today and asked if I was only interested in managing my hometown location or if I was open to other target markets. I reiterated to him that I came to this company for their growth opportunities. Yes, I am willing to relocate. He was pleased and said that things are going to take off pretty quick. Change is a familiar part of my life. 

Stopping in the hotel lobby for my after work cup of coffee, Veronica the concierge says, "Hi Dawn, how was work today?" Yes, I am on a first name basis with the concierge's here. We chat about our days then I head up to my suite, change into workout clothes, make a quick baked potato to go with my new favorite protein shake before I head to the gym for a workout. Strange dinner combination, don't judge. Anyway, it was the potato that made me smile ...

... it was heart-shaped and I appreciated it.

Off to the gym I go. Total confession, my membership comes with massage chairs and a water-pressured massage beds. After I work out, I get a massage, too. That alone is worth the membership!

It was a good day and tomorrow I pack up and head back home.

"Thank You For Raising Us Better Than This"

I came home to Thanksgiving and I am leaving in Christmas.

It was good to have several days off and they were a blur of activity, time with many, and traditions. I cannot believe I fit everything in a couple of days that I needed and wanted to and still had time to hold, coo with, smell and kiss my beautiful granddaughter for hours. Her 1st Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful, grateful and blessed for.

I love seeing my kids happy. My adult kids: Mariah & Jeremy, Brooke & Alex, and the perfect and most beautiful little addition, Sofia.

To see them happy and to see them all happy together, what more can I ask for? 

Brooke and I needed to go the store and was surprised to see so many stores open on Thanksgiving evening. Walmart was packed, but we needed a couple basic household cleaning products. 

Black Friday shoppers were already at it! Each checkout aisle was taped off 3/4 of the way through the back of the store and people waiting in line that far back!! When we walked in, we had to walk straight back to the store to make a left and reach the aisles to the left. It was chaos! Carts filled with "stuff" because it was cheap and people rushing from aisle to aisle.

I told Brooke, look at the thoughtless "stuff" they have in their carts, because it's cheap. Stuff for under a Christmas tree, dollar saving, and no thought behind it. I found myself looking at items in other peoples carts just like I do at the grocery store. There is a parallel between carts filled with diabetes and those who push those carts, carts filled with cheap "stuff" by those who wildly push these carts and drag their families around on what is supposed to be Thanksgiving.

I have never done Black Friday shopping, because I loathe shopping and shopping with crazy shoppers would certainly make me lose my Christianity. In Black Friday tradition in our home, we turn on Christmas music and transform our home into Christmas. 

Here we were in the midst of the beginning of Black Friday chaos. This was it. 

Brooke said, "Mom, thank you for raising us better than this."

8 Years No Dentist

There was a very real reason my hands were sweating, I was feeling shortness of breath, and my hair follicles were tingling ...

    Once upon a time, I had a shot in my mouth that hit a nerve

 and I wanted to come out of the chair. The end.

That is how I went eight years without going to the dentist. 

There I sat in the dental chair after routine xrays during a checkup; although, that many years later I'm not certain it is called a checkup anymore. The dentist walked in and I immediately asked what the damage was and quickly went into how long it has been since I've been to a dentist. 

[Quick prayer] Perhaps. if I talk fast and offer excuses to my rationale the damage will make sense.

The dentist said, "We were just talking about you in the other room." [Gulp] He shared they were impressed I had not a single cavity and that it looks as if I have gone to a dentist every six months all these years. 

Thank you Sonicare toothbrush, Listerine (that kills germs) and Opalescence tooth whitening system for a bright white smile!

A Road Trip to Indiana

Memories raced through my mind like a movie reel spinning out of control. Sensationalism, to wild and carefree, to family, to recklessness, to brokenness. The present situation felt all to surreal and the realities of life is but a vapor becomes more real in these moments.

"May I have a moment alone, please," Brooke asked as we stood where her dad was buried seven years ago.

I think of the life we had, what he meant to me and to be standing with our now 18 year old daughter at his grave doesn't even seem possible, yet it is.

I met Keith May 16, 1997, two days after my divorce. I remember the moment I laid eyes on him, the very first words he said to me and I still have the little sundress I was wearing the 1st time I met him in Brooke's keepsake box. We were together for 1-1/2 years, to be honest nine years total ... .

Brooke's grandfather passed away and we took a road trip to Indiana. A trip both of us were so grateful we took!

Our hearts felt hesitant as we pulled up to the very funeral home we were at seven years ago. It was awful then, but entirely different this time. Her grandfather was two weeks shy of being 90 years old and died simply from old age.

It was a happy day of family, siblings, everyone coming together from all different states. This family has been part of my life for the last 20 years. Thanks to social media we have stayed connected and it wasn't catching up as much; rather, I heard a lot of, "OMGosh, your granddaughter is beautiful!"

Brooke's sister Brittany was not able to make it, but her brothers did.

Here is Brooke with (her 1st cousin) Christin and (Brooke's brothers) Ryan and Joe.

Brittany is in Kansas, Ryan and family in Oklahoma, and Joe and his wife in Virginia. Christin in Mississippi, Aunt Kim in Tuscon, Arizona and Aunt Debbie in Indiana. 

The biggest bomb shell was when we sat down for dinner after the funeral!! A couple sat across the table from us and the guy (60-something) said, "You are my niece," to Brooke and his wife said, "Oh, you are Brooke!" This man was an unreal version of Brooke's grandfather who just passed. His same face and the same voice! I leaned over to Kim a bit confused and whispered, "Did Keith have a brother?!" He did. Why doesn't that surprise me I didn't know he had a brother 20 years later?! Probably because Keith wanted to be the only boy and was definitely the spoiled golden child of Keith and Harriet. Kim explained grandma & grandpa were both married prior. Doug (the mini version of grandpa) was from grandpa's marriage and here Debbie was from Harriet's marriage. I never knew. When they were married, they had both Kim and Keith. I adored his brother and wife. What a super friendly and happy couple! Of course, I am still finding out new things about Keith even after him passing. That was so him. 

Ryan's wife Lauren brought the kids in and Brooke met her niece and nephew. Rylen is 5 years old and Paxton is 3. When Paxton entered the room, everyone knew it. That kid lit the room up with a larger than life personality. Cute as a darn button (and I didn't even get a photo) with his blond head of hair, giant smile and a flirt! He commanded attention and I couldn't help but watch him.

Sweet, little Rylen was magnetic to both Brooke and I. At dinner after the funeral she was with us 75% of the time smiling, bouncing, and hugging us as if she couldn't get enough of us. We fell in love with her.

When she put her soft little five year old hand in mine waves of this is Keith's grandchildren filled me. He would have been over the moon in love with them and they would have LOVED him! I would have teased him mercilessly about being a grandfather, but now I am a grandmother, too.

His grandchildren he never even met and in all their hugs, attention and affections I couldn't help but think without the brokenness they would have been mine, too.

As we were leaving I hugged Joe and Ryan goodbye and told Ryan, "Your little guy is a ray of sunshine, he reminds me very much of someone else I once knew." Ryan laughingly nodded and said, "Yes, and the next 20 years are going to be interesting!"

It was fun road trip for both Brooke and I in our travels together and we are both so glad we went.

Brooke and her daddy (I'm guessing, in 2002)