In the midst of not being each others favorite person, worn out from battle, and with a final breath where you are just tired of fighting each other, there are two choices: throw that last dagger and finish it off or flip the topic completely.
A few times when we had been in our respective corners of the boxing ring, he'd send a random text, "Want to get sushi?" and it becomes a choice to put down the arsenal.
[BTW, this photo is hysterical!]
After a crappy weekend, we sat on the patio swing on a warm summer night and he asked, then we played ...
What do you like about me ...
What I think you like about me (which is very interesting from the others perspective) ...
What is important to me ...
What is important to me by the day of the week ...
What I love about us.
Surface stuff was quickly called out, go deeper. Each question had to have a laundry list of answers from me about him and he about me.
It became a game of perspective. To cut out the laser-like focus on blame and shift into a different realm all together on the important stuff.
And we focus on all the tiny details that created the life we have and how well-known we truly are by the other.
The next morning I text him, "... and I love that we knew each other as kids." His reply, "And I love that even since I was 15 I'm still attracted to you every day."
It is really hard to battle in the And I Love ... game.
