There Comes A Moment

"What do you want in life...tell me what you really want... ?"

     "What do you think of marriage...?"

          "Could you let someone take care of you... ?"

                  "What do you want of  me... ?"

There comes a moment in a relationship where you can play it safe in guarded responses or be raw and honest. The later is a huge risk, but I know he is a safe place and I know he means it.

I chose to be raw and honest and he now knows my heart.

It's odd to have someone tell you every day to "please be careful" or a text asking if I made it home safely in a storm. It's him who is at risk every day and I reply, "Be careful, I just found you." 

I believe logically he knows I am strong and independent; yet, he wants to take care of me and be the man in my life. Another moment where a choice is made... will I allow him? Yes, and that will be work on my end and take some getting used to.

As we were talking about our children he shared, "There is one thing I want you to let your daughters know... I will be the one taking care of you and nothing will ever happen you."

To him, I am a treasure. To me, he is a hero. 

Arriving 2021

When my heart already bursts with love and arms are full, another is on the way!!

Tie-breaker arriving 

~

April 2021

Date Night Photography

We... [Oh my gosh, I love the term "We"] have a fabulous date coming up and I am over the moon excited to dress up, dine with friends, and dance the evening away with tall, dark, and handsome. 

He has a presence about him that is magnetic and on top of that, anything he puts on he looks GQ. So, I decided it was time to find a new dress for our date. 

So grateful I am only a couple pounds away from having lost 50 lbs, dress shopping was a success! Off the shoulders and form fitting, I'm thinking tons of soft curls in my hair and red lipstick. 

I didn't find one dress, I found three and I bought all three!! 

He mentioned we need to get photos together before the evening begins. Who is this man that has completely captured my heart and mind?! Me, thrilled to share, there will be a professional photographer. 

The last time I've had professional photos taken with a man was over 20 years ago. 

It is going to be extraordinary! I feel like Cinderella preparing for the ball. 

Femininity

He enjoys my softness of being a woman and says the word that defines me is... femininity.

Femininity is strength wrapped in a velvet glove,

It doesn't insist on its own way but most of the time gets it.

                                                        - The Power of  Being a Woman

We both have God-given strengths and roles we were created for. I love that he is such a strong man and his worth is far above others. I love that he lives his God-given role to the fullest extent every single day and that he fully appreciates my femininity of being a woman. 

We are equals, we just know and respect our God-given roles and strengths and breathe that into our relationship. 

Stronger Than Me

I have met the first man in my life that is stronger than me.

Physically men are stronger... what I mean is, his mind, his intelligence, independence, faith-based, family-based, accomplishments and character & integrity. In a sea of ordinary, I found extraordinary and I know he is who God picked for me.

I very seriously had to self check am I comfortable being with a man who surpasses me? I've always hoped a guy would step up and lead a relationship. When they wouldn't or couldn't for a always a number of countless reasons. Could I, in all my hopes, truly allow a man to lead?

A resounding, Yes!

I am a strong partner. I also want to simply be a woman and pray and hope and trust a man will fulfill his God-given role as a man, so I can bring and breathe my God-given strengths as a woman.

I watch, listen, and observe every detail and he exhilarates me.

He feels so familiar, his warrior heart and romantic soul. King Solomon. My three favorite books of the bible, Proverbs, Song of Songs, and Ecclesiastes. Strong. Wise. A romantic heart. A warrior. A leader. A poet.

At 6'2" his body is a chiseled rock. He desires my softness. Again, only God.

I am grateful for the years I've taken being off the dating market. I am in the best place in my life to meet the greatest partner of my life.

When two incredibly strong people unite, it is felt in the universe.

He's the one.

Thou Art To Me...

My mind is alive in stimulation that challenges me. He welcomes me, meets me, and exceeds my words. Free and generous, speaking my language, I dig deep to match this fount of romantic affirmations. 

It isn't really digging deep when I self check. It's more the pulling off the boundaries others couldn't handle and I knew inside didn't have the capacity to appreciate. Being given free rein to be a fount where I am stimulated and challenged in the safe place of encouragement and want.

He exhilarates me. 

Highly successful and a mind that captures my pure admiration and respect, I am lost in hope and cannot shake the significance. 

He is crazy about me. 

Tall, dark and handsome, when he pulled me in his arms and kissed me that first time, and I felt his strong hands slide up into my hair, and passion was breathed back in me. What I have stifled for so long, wasn't lost. It was just waiting. There you are... I've missed you. 

Too many parallels... and I remember my words days before I met him... "How much longer will you make me wait, Lord? You said it isn't good for man to be alone..." 

He is a warrior with a romantic soul. 

How blessed am I with wisdom and knowledge that I can bask in simply being a woman with a matched soul, breathe life, admiration and respect into his strengths, and lose myself in his want of me. 

My mind is fully alive and challenged and desire awakened. There is no worry for the future; rather, fully living in this very moment grateful we've found each other. 

I Knew...

It was electric and magnificent when we met and I knew...

This is going to be extraordinary and significant.

Sofia's 3rd Birthday

My most perfect in every way granddaughter is 3! Three years of being so in love with her, everything in life is a celebration. Every milestone. Every holiday is fresh and new. Everything is a new experience seeing it through her eyes.

She wanted a Rapunzel birthday and my daughter had this magnificent cake made for her. The tower is a handle she could hold and the purple top is cake. With family and her tribe of cousins, she was in her glory at her birthday party.

Such a princess, she had been asking for a Belle dress and I was happy to have found one for her. Thanks to Amazon Prime, I was able to find all the princesses in dolls for her dollhouse. 

A pool party on her actual birthday, she struck a birthday pose. 

My Sofia,

You are beautifully, fearfully, and wonderfully made. Happiest of birthdays, little princess.

I am so in love with you!

xo

Keto Cylcing

The 10th of the month will be my 5th month on the Keto Diet. My plan was to go full Keto until my 50th birthday, then slide into Keto cycling, which means I can go Keto two day, have a carb day, Keto two days, have a carb day, and so forth. 

I've been low-grade fearful of what will actually happen if I do this, but this is what I've found...

While each month my weight loss becomes less, eating the piece of cake, a cookie, chocolate, a hamburger, potatoes, etc. when I want isn't stopping weight loss. I feel guilt-free eating something if I want it, it just isn't my daily high carb choices. I stay under 30 carbs per day. 

When I get on the scales and see the number that continues to come down, it's a win-win. 

Three pounds doesn't seem like much, but these last three pounds feel significant. My belt is of no use to me. What was once tight at the last hole in the belt, now needs a couple new holes drilled in to fit. So I'm going to buy a new one, because it no longer fits. 

A pair of pants now no longer fit due to being so scrunched at the waist by a belt to keep on. 

The best part is, I recognize myself again in the mirror with no clothes on. Instead of thinking, "who is that and how did that happen?" I'm like... there she is. 

A Quiet Afternoon Date

Sofia & I are having a quiet afternoon date. We picked up her Happy Meal and I got her a hamburger and chicken mcnuggets. Sometimes one cannot decide, so I got her both.

She would like me to sit in my office at my desk while she has free reign of the house. I let her be as independent as she wants, fully aware of what she is up to. Today, I am Belle and she is Sleeping Beauty, according to her.

Sitting in the recliner, watching one of her favorite shows on Youtube with a specialty chocolate shake, it's exactly what she wants to do. 

Going through my cupboard and drawers, my daughter will be thrilled with all the things Sofia has found that she says,"I already miss this, this is mine."

A bubble bath with her toys, I put a mirror on the tub so she could see herself in all her bubbles glory and that made bubbles on her face and hair all the more fun!

With plenty to eat and her favorite snacks in familiar places, she plays and eats what she wants. Anna/Elsa Olaf Frozen Popsicles or ice cream?

With the television off and individual time spent with her playing and doing what she wants to do, she was lights out in the car ride taking her home. 

Next week my sweet grand daughter turns 3 years old. Three years of pure love, snuggles, kisses, laughter, and absolute pride and joy, it is to share life with her and watch her grow. 

I love sharing life with her, in all things.