Windows Of Time

Windows of time are not chapters in our lives.

Windows of time are brief intervals of opportunity during which an activity or rest can take place.

Tomorrow Brooke goes to the orthodontist.  In a 7 year period, we are in a 6 month window of time where neither of my girls have braces. 

Basketball ended just two weeks ago, tonight was Brooke’s last dodgeball game.  I thought I had a one week window without sports since last summer.

Mariah called, she made the varsity track team without trying out!  The varsity coach claimed her, gave her two weeks off from basketball, she starts track now. I’m excited for her.  No break.

When is my next window without all these activities?  Summer?  Camp brochures came today, Brooke picked her camp.  Mariah is picking her summer basketball camps. 

When am I going to squeeze in drivers education course for Mariah?  Only a small window of time left where I don’t have to worry yet that my daughter is behind the wheel subject to other drivers.

Now, a cherished window of time where I know where my girls are on Friday and Saturday nights, home safe in bed.

Classes on hold, a window of time I gave myself from taking part-time courses after Brooke’s dad died.

The last two months, a window of time where life was hard, but is healing so quickly.  A period of putting faith into practice through trials that wanted to consume me.

I’m thankful for these windows of time.  They are not chapters, rather short timeframes of rest for the next chapter in life.

Letting Go

She watched the glass
     now empty
  badly in need of a refill
          her arms hung heavily by her sides
              too weary from her constant revisiting
                   of a task she longed for him to do
              he too waited
                   accustomed to her frequent attendance
                        he saw no need ot break a familiar pattern
              though he knew it was his duty
                    to refresh her
                        to fill her
   she had done so well
       refreshing herself  
              he now had no memory
                     of how to go about the task
and he wondered why her eyes were so angry
           though her speech did not give her away
 the distance he felt from her body
    when he reached to caress her
       left unanswered questions in his mind
          that he dared not utter
             afraid of the repsonsibility
                her answer might require on his part
      and so he waited
            waited for her to refill the glass
but instead she just stood there
                  with her arms dangling like leaden appendages
           looking up toward the heavens
 lips moving silently
      pouring out her soul
tears streaming down
                 until they overflowed the brim of the glass
and as she reached for it
          the unthinkable occurred
                  the glass tipped over
                        spilling its contents
         rolling
            rolling
               rolling out of her reach
         landing at his feet
 and she still standing
         not moving except
                     to see if her prayers had been answered
         watched him bend to pick it up
staring
    as if at a foreign object
            finally a glint of recognition lighting his face
 he revisited his initial call
                                filling it with himself
                                  he gave her to drink
                                     and she partook of his offering gratefully
                                still looking toward heaven
                          and then into his eyes
                            now filling with understanding
                                as the anger left hers
           making room for softness in her gaze
                  as her arms regained their strength
                         no longer exhausted from carrying
                              both their loads
           with one arm unfettered
                   she was now free
                            to embrace him
                truly her glass was full.
                                                           - Michelle McKinney Hammond

Sushi With Mariah

What a day ... !
 
Brooke gets asked for a sleepover at her friends house and I find myself childless.  Sushi time!  But, everyone is busy on last minute notice.  Note to self:  Must find more sushi friends!

Mariah calls, this is her dad's weekend, but we need to find a dress for the Winter Formal next weekend.  Mariah likes sushi! 

Mariah and I enjoy the evening with dinner at Wasabi, we grab Starbuck's for a needed energy boost to shop, and a shopping trip that landed a dress she fell in love with at first stop.  Success!

Mariah is funny! We have great conversations, she loves to share, we both cherish our time together. 

She is chatting away and informing me of her upcoming activities and summer plans.  Hmmmm ... sounds expen$ive.  I say, "Mariah, I will have plant another money tree out back just for you."  She replies, "Mom, I will be just as generous with my kids!" 

An appropriate reply to a comment I often make, "You both better be as generous to my grand babies as I have been to you!"  That's all I ask.  =)

Shay Brooke

I woke up at 6:00 a.m. today.  Normal for me.

Not normal for Brooke, who doesn't wake up well at 6:40 a.m. for school.  At 6:00 a.m. today she is awake in bed, playing her DSi XL!

A wide-awake Brooke, leaps from bed and tells me to sit down and relax.

She hands me a menu.

Welcome to Shay Brooke.  What she means is Chez Brooke.  I'm smiling.

Coffee is not on the menu, fortunately Shay Brooke can accommodate!  Not being a breakfast person, I decide to go with a single chocolate chip waffle, light on the butter and syrup.

Minutes later, a tray appears.  A perfectly microwaved chocolate chip waffle, butter melted, light on the syrup. 

The breakfast tray presentation has the final touch of a vase of water with a stem of flowers that were pulled out of an already floral bouquet. 

Brooke has always been sensitive to all the right special touches.  Flowers and candles for ambiance.  She will make an amazing special events coordinator some day, even if it is for my grand babies. 

Shay Brooke's was delicious!

Fireworks

Brooke and I are in the car heading to Best Buy when she says, "Mom, I feel like fireworks are going off inside me!"

The fireworks is her excitement and anticipation of heading to buy a very special gift.

Brooke loves her DS; however, it is old, scratched up, and has needed replaced.

When Brooke's dad died, Social Security said that everyone has a one-time pay out of $255 upon their death ... who knew?

I told Brooke, when that money arrives she can buy the DSi XL (in burgundy) that she has asked for for 1 1/2 years now!

Tonight we were heading to pick up her new DSi XL when the fireworks filled her!  She was so excited, she kept bellowing opera notes once the cherished prize was in her hands. 

I also earned a reward tonight according to Brooke.  She thought carefully after stating I deserved a reward and my reward is ... she will not ask to sleep in my bed for 1 month!  ha!

A special gift from her daddy = fireworks in her heart.

Darts At A Target

A snowstorm blows through Ohio making this mornings commute last 1 ½ hours.

That is 1 ½ hours to reflect. 

What a week!  It has been a week of extreme frustration and supernatural blessings. The kind of supernatural blessings where I can only *smile* because God is totally behind the scenes working on my behalf! 

I’m reflecting and my heart is happy.

I think about some of the things that have spewed during my many moments of frustrations.  Sometimes I just have a trash mouth!  Sometimes I’m really bad at being bright enough to make the perfect witty comment that hits the exact target that I am aiming for … to hurt.

Honestly, I hate that about myself.  I resent my loss of control.  

Today Mary Southerland writes about throwing darts.  Oh, the timing …

A young lady named Sally relates an experience she had in a Seminary class taught by Dr. Smith, a teacher who was well known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the classroom and instantly knew they were going to have a lot of fun. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table was a large stack of darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of a person they disliked or someone who had made them angry and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.

Sally's girlfriend drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother who was a constant irritation. Sally drew a picture of a former friend who had betrayed her. As Sally remembered the pain and hurt of that broken friendship, she put a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. When her picture was completed, Sally sat back and gazed at her work, pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts. Laughter and shouts of success rang out as each dart found its target. Some of the students threw the darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally was looking forward to her turn but was disappointed when Dr. Smith called time and asked the students to return to their seats.

As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target, Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A complete hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covering His face.

Dr. Smith quietly said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" (Matthew 25:40, KJV). No other words were necessary. The tear-filled eyes of each student focused only on the picture of Christ. 

Words are like seeds. What we plant will grow. The words we speak are powerful and will either build up or destroy. Words can diffuse anger and turn tragedy into triumph. The right word, spoken at the right time and in the right way can bring peace in the midst of confusion. God gives us "spiritual radar" so we can assess a situation and speak the right word for that circumstance, but how often do we speak before we check the radar?

· A judge utters a few words and a guilty man is taken to death row.

· A friend speaks a word of encouragement and a desperate heart finds hope.

· A mother lashes out with angry words and the light in her child's eyes is gone.

· A wife offers a word of forgiveness and a marriage is saved.

· A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is destroyed.

· A teenager says "no" and changes the course of her life.

It has been estimated that most people speak enough words in one week to fill a large book of 500 pages which, in the average lifetime, would amount to somewhere around 3000 volumes or 1,500,000 pages. What kind of book are you writing today with your words? 

Ouch!  I'm still working on me.

Heaven Is Cheering You On

I love to jump on my elliptical Sunday mornings and listen to Joel Osteen at 7:30 a.m.

Joel is a voice of encouragement and inspiration.  Sometimes I need that over just being fed.  He spoke about all of heaven pulling for you and loved ones who are already there cheering you on!  It was a GREAT message! I hadn’t heard it put this way before.

What an amazing God we have to use ordinary people in the Bible, who experienced everything we have thousands of years ago, yet to reach us in modern day times as an example of His love and power!

I was excited to see that Joel posted a portion of his message on his website.  I want to share it with you …

You Have the Home Field Advantage – Joel Osteen

When I was growing up, I was very involved in sports. My parents traveled a lot and couldn't attend all of my ball games. Of course, I always played hard, but when I knew my parents were in the stands, when I knew they were watching, it gave me an extra boost. Even though it was a "mental thing," it affected my physical performance. The same thing happens when a team has the home field advantage. They perform better because they know the crowd has confidence in them.

If you follow football, you know that the team who had the worst record to ever make it to the playoffs had the home field advantage. The crowd was going wild, and do you know they beat the world champions? It's amazing what you can accomplish when you know people are cheering you on and believing the best for you!

In the book of Hebrews, it talks about the great heroes of faith and the amazing things they accomplished for the kingdom—Moses, Abraham, David, Sarah, Ruth, Esther and many others. People who were known and people who were unknown. In chapter 11, it tells how they dared to believe, and God did incredible things through them. Then it goes on to say in chapter 12, "Since we are surrounded by this great cloud of witnesses, let us run our race." Notice this passage refers to our life as a race. And it paints the picture of this big stadium up in heaven. Now these saints of old, known as the great cloud of witnesses, are up in the stands looking down on us and cheering us on!

Understand today that you are not running your race alone; you've got all of heaven pulling for you. From the great saints of old to your loved ones that have gone to be with the Lord, the stands are filled with those who are pulling for you!

They're watching you and saying, "Keep going. Press through. Keep running. Don't give up. You may get tired, but get your second wind. We did it, and you can do it, too!"

Realize that you have home field advantage! In this stadium in the grandstands of heaven, you don't have any critics, nobody's throwing popcorn at you, and nobody's heckling you. No, these people are for you 100 percent! They think you're amazing. They know you've got what it takes. They're standing up right now cheering you on!

Imagine Moses calling your name and saying, "Go, go, go. You can accomplish your dreams." David is saying, "The giants may be big, but don't get discouraged. I defeated them; you can, too." Esther is calling your name saying, "You may be afraid, but do it anyway. You've been raised up for such a time as this." Gideon is saying, "You may feel weak and intimidated, but be strong and of good courage. The Lord your God is with you." All of the saints of old are pulling for you. By faith, you need to hear the roar of the crowd. By faith, you need to see them standing up, cheering you on! They're saying, "We did it without automobiles, without air-conditioning, without beautiful buildings, without technology, without computers or telephones. Think about what you can do. You can go further. You can accomplish your dreams. You can take new ground for the kingdom."

Let that truth sink down deep into your heart. Get a picture of the great cloud of witnesses cheering you on. When you realize that all of heaven is pulling for you, it does something on the inside. When you know this great cloud of witnesses is calling your name and cheering you on, it'll give you that boost to go further and accomplish more. Receive that strength and encouragement today and let it propel you forward into the victorious destiny He has prepared for you!

Do The Work

A dear friend called the other night broken and sobbing. Her 8-year relationship is facing major storms and potentially may end.  He is disconnecting faster than she can hold it together and she is basically falling apart fast!

She cries, “There is no hope!”

I am not the person to say “there is no hope” to!  I have had my share of trials that had me clinging barely by a thread to where I found my only comfort was on my knees in prayer.

There is only one person to put your hope in … God.  Know where to turn to and be willing to do the work IF something is truly important to you!

As a friend, I will tie my hair back, walk into the battle field and pull you out if need be. Or, I can put on the coffee, sit down and cry with you. Sometimes it calls for a bottle of wine!

Sharon Jaynes is one of my favorite writers/authors of Girlfriends in God. Today she wrote, “Prayer should never be seen as a last resort but as a first line of defense. No matter what condition your relationship is in today, prayer will make it better. God can make a bad marriage good and a good marriage great. God's answers to prayer healed the sick, fed the hungry, stopped the rain, kept the earth from revolving on its axis for an hour, divided the Red Sea, poured forth water from a rock, opened wombs, confused enemies, opened jail doors, made leprous skin reform, caused the lame to dance, gave courage to the fearful, and raised the dead. Jesus said, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'Move from here to there' and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20).

I share with my friend, whom I love dearly, what has helped me over the last few months. Books that gave me insight and gentle reminders on what I knew, but need reminded of.  I learned about myself, what it is to pray fervently, and the true meaning of faith, hope, and love.  

I can tell this is a "listen-only" conversation.

Everyone has their own way to handle situations in their lives, but if it isn’t working, do the work and fix it! 

I search through my “For My Girls” file for a writing that shouts in my mind written by Marybeth Wahlen, Encouragement for Today.  She writes “Do the Work”, “I thought back to my frustration with the work I was facing earlier and felt God speak to me through this verse. Quit telling me how impossible the task is and just do the work, He said. Don't forget I will show up each time. Not so you can boast about your abilities, but so you can boast in Me.

Whenever I started to get discouraged or overwhelmed by the hugeness of the task, I reminded myself: Do the work—three little words that got me through one of the biggest challenges of my life.

Perhaps you need to hear those three little words today.

Are you facing a challenge in your job? Do the work.

Does your relationship need to be rebuilt? Do the work.

Are you worried about your ability to be a good parent? Do the work.

Are you dealing with a personal hardship that just seems too big to overcome? Do the work.

Are you struggling with debt and financial issues? Do the work.

Do you want to eat healthier, commit to regular exercise or lose weight? Do the work.

Is there a dream that God has planted in your heart that seems too big for you? Do the work.

Make no mistake: sometimes the work will be hard. Note that our verse today didn't say "Lay around and hope things get better." The challenge we face is not in focusing on how hard the work is, but in seeking the God who has promised to show up as we work. We offer our best efforts and trust that He will multiply them. We will see Him supply the words, the resources, the energy, the time, the patience, the grace we need. But first we must do the work.

I will be on stand-by, that’s what girlfriends do. 

I encourage you today, what ever it is that is truly important in your life, be willing to do the work!

 

Mariah Plays 5th Grade Dodgeball

Tonight was Mariah’s 1^st night watching Brooke play dodgeball.

Mr. Stanley, the best 5^th grade Science teacher ever, is the coordinator of this event.  Mr. Stanley was also Mariah’s favorite elementary school teacher.  They arm wrestled all the time!

Mr. Stanley tells Mariah to jump in on Brooke’s opposing team with the mission of taking out the best player on Brooke’s team.

My all-star athlete gets into the game.  Much taller than the others, she says she doesn’t want to hurt them.

They annihilated her!  She was the target and they had no mercy. I could only laugh!

Mariah tells me the 5^th graders are BRUTAL and she has a new respect for Brooke for staying in as long as she does!  Maybe Brooke is onto something with the whole “dodging” technique?

I take picture after picture.  Everyone is moving constantly, so many of the pictures are blurry.  There is one common theme though.  In 75% of the pictures, Chad is right next to Brooke.

This is Chad and Brooke.

Brooke and Chad “dated” for 1 ½ years in 1^st grade and announced one day that they decided to “casually date”.  Imagine my shock to hear that!  They are dear friends and seem to gravitate toward each other all evening.

They are playmates on the playground.  Chad’s mom said he was deeply hurt by Brooke’s loss when her dad died recently.  He is the sweetest, cutie-patutie, and Mariah and I both adore him.

It makes me smile watching their friendship. I bet neither realize how close they stay to one another.

Dodgeball wraps up with Mr. Stanley giving a devotion.  Yep, that's Chad to the right of Brooke!

Seven weeks down, one more to go.

My Suite

Forget the “man cave” its time women create their own relaxing and private escape.  The “mom cave” or what I prefer to call my suite.

My suite is my own private level in our home equipped with a large master bedroom, walk-in closet, a full private bathroom, and a living area.

I can escape to kick up my feet with a drink of choice at my finger tips, enjoy a romantic comedy, or conquer my NordicTrack elliptical for an invigorating workout in front of my television, alone.  Ahhhhh ... me time!

Arhaus, my favorite store for home décor, had a sale this weekend. I picked up a few fun pieces and went to work painting.

Before …

After …

and

What's missing is the taupe lace sheer on display at Arhaus.  This week’s mission will be to contact their corporate office and see where I can get this. A sheer to hang on the wall, left of center. 

Feminine.  Bold.  Contrast. Transformation.

Simple, yet a sense of satisfaction.

Seven Weeks

Exactly seven weeks today.

A fraction of a second can be a determining factor when it comes to winning in the Olympics. Seven weeks with life feeling broken, can seem like forever, and it will give you the opportunity to see what you are made of. 

Rituals re-establish. Hearts carefully reconnecting. Life seems normal. Almost.

“Can I come over?”

Seven weeks of what am I made of?  Seven weeks of what is truly important? Seven weeks of seeking, searching, and finding answers to essentials in life.

Patience. Kindness. Humility. Sacrifice. Grace. Forgiveness. Faith. Perseverance. Prayer.

“Yes, I want you to come over.”

Seven weeks apart.

I remember the first day I met him ... the moment of magic when our eyes connected, two hearts meeting. I vividly remember the thrill of euphoria with our 1^st kiss.

Magical first moments don’t compare to the anticipation of seeing love after life happens and time has passed. The breathless anticipation of second chances established in known passion, laughter, communication, and intimacy.

Seven weeks are over. The crescendo of connection, the rapture of a second first kiss.

Love is fragile, handle with prayer.

Rituals

Whew … what a week!  Tax night, became a blessing.  Another night, car battery issue = free car battery, another blessing. Nights gone by when I couldn’t read. 

I say it over and over, I love to read.  I am constantly seeking to grow, increase and learn in life.  We were meant to.  To not grow, is a certain death.

While taking a few days off of reading, life is changing. A familiar routine reconnecting.

Finally, I get my “me time” and pick up my book.  Next chapter, Rituals.  I love its timing!

“In nature, animals perform rituals. They go to the same places and do the same mating dances. These activities reestablish their roles as male and female and trigger their mating instincts.”

I smile at the analogy, but there are so many truths to this. There must be something that jump-starts it all over again. It’s the “little” things that establish a strong connection and keep it alive.

“The fact is, those rituals you performed early in the relationship are foundational to your connection. They solidify the bond, giving both partners a familiar place to reengage and renew their commitment. This releases fresh power into the relationship”.

“Touch is important because it establishes familiarity between two partners. It should trigger emotions that no one else’s touch can. Your touch is your signature that leaves an indelible impression on the mind and spirit of your loved one”.

“The ritual of mental engagement is a powerful tool for keeping romance alive. The morning phone call, the noonday check-in, the cup of coffee that stands waiting. Whatever the thing is that makes your partner smile and feel loved, you need to do it regularly. It’s the little things they miss when you are not there.  They are imbedded in your partner’s heart and spirit”.

Rituals. Familiar routines. Sometimes we have to go back to the place of initial connection and restart.  But, first it has to be the desire of your heart!

Mocha Frappuccino Kind Of Day

Today I am simply happy.

It’s Friday.  Not just Friday, but a 3-day weekend kind of Friday. 

Sunshine now.  Rain in the forecast.  My girls at home from school … no morning rush.  A big Arhaus sale =  a new home project for the weekend.  Sensitivity re-connected.  Endearments and healing happening.

It’s a Starbuck’s-Mocha-Frappuccino-to-heck-with-the-calories kind of Friday!

I leave the office and walk over to the university campus Starbuck’s next door.  What is with this generation?  Kids, who are really adults, walking around looking a hot mess!  Guys with their pants hangin under their butts, can’t walk right so their pants don’t fall completely down.  Girls in bad sweats, hair up in messy knots, with fat hanging over.  Are you kidding?!

Okay, I get being comfy.  I’m a yoga pants, hair pulled up kinda girl … at home!  Grunge in pubic is a whole other level. 

This generation has the same approach when “going out”, too.  There is nothing hot, attractive, or sexy about the grunge look.  It is exactly that, grunge. 

What happened to the days when going out was a fashion show?  Smokin hot, crazy outfits, thin is in?  Those days are gone.

All I can say is, keep it up!  You 20’somethings are just making us 40’somethings look amazing.

My mocha frappuccino hit the spot!  

Resignation Letter

The most honest relationship I have ever had in my life has been in my role as an executive assistant to the President & CEO, my beloved boss and friend, Ed Harrison.

Ed laid the foundation at the beginning that he has no secrets, professionally speaking. Our relationship went beyond support to total trust and honesty.

How do you write a resignation letter for a very dear friend?  First, you cry.

Call it nostalgia if you will … I reflect over the last 5 years that I have supported Ed, I am not sure at what point early on did I recognize that under his gruff exterior was the same soft heart and personality of my very own dad.  Two men cut from the same mold … and I am definitely a daddy’s girl!

Ed’s own daughter is my age and she also has two daughters.  These dynamics are definitely God’s hand in lining up the stars in my favor.

I begin to write.  How do I start his resignation announcement?  He will want it in a standard format, strictly professional. But, I’m writing it. This one must be warm & heartfelt.  He will edit to remove the fluff, but corporate email blasts across the country come from me.  This one, he can’t have his way.

I grab another box of Kleenex.  His words throughout the years echo in my mind, “No more tears!”, “No crying allowed!”, and the daily familiar, “Go to your room!”  “Go to your room” means go to my office, in a dad tone.  Sometimes I feel 40 years old and professional, sometimes I feel like I am 8. 

Memories flood me.

Memories of professional opportunities where he instructed Jody and I to start up a new technology company from scratch that became Platinum Technologies. Offices in Akron and Tampa, producing 1.5 Mil profit its first fiscal year.  Instructing me to create Customer Relations from scratch, which provides customer service support for the corporate office and our 50+ schools in 6 states. Encouraging my participation as a graduating member in Leadership Ohio, class of 2010.  Every campaign I ran. Every cause I wanted to support, he supported. 

Then there were the moments of falling on my own sword in confession if I did something wrong. I wanted him to hear it from me first … he would laugh and share his own past experiences. 

Moments of shutting the door for private conversations, bridging the gap between major issues executive level and employee level. Inside knowledge he had to know. Trust and honesty.

Moments of my being raging, yelling mad … he would listen, trust, and protect me.

This was five years of hands-on education, first-hand experience in supporting an old school, good ole boy business man.  The kind of education that doesn’t come from text books.

Ed deserves to retire.  I am so happy for him.

His beautiful wife, Lee, whom he calls his “bride” deserves to have her husband with her. To spend their years with their children and grandchildren are the fruits of his labor.

I will somehow finish writing his resignation announcement today. It will be warm & heartfelt to stay professional.  I won’t be able to sign it, “In loving and faithful support, Dawn” or maybe I will!  J

Valentine Day Cupid

A special delivery arrived for Valentine's Day.

With a message, "Mariah & Brooke, I hope you both are doing good and minding your mom. Miss you both and love you very much. Uncle Jody"

Jody is one of my best guy friends, he lives in San Antonio, Texas. To my girls he is Uncle Jody.

This Valentine's Day he is filling in the gap in love and support. 

Friends and family are priceless. From package deliveries of beanie baby giraffes (for Brooke) to beautiful bouquets of flowers, phone calls and text that continue to come ... each and every thought & gift covers their hearts in love.

Out Of The Waiting Room

This season in my life has equally matched this season of winter in Ohio – intensely bitter cold, brutally numbing and unsympathic.

Sitting still is a safe place. Alone with God.  A place of healing.

Susan Meissner writes:

Picture a doctor's waiting room: cushioned chairs, a display of colorful magazines, soothing music wafting above your head, perhaps an aquarium of sparkling fish.

Why does the doctor provide such a calming environment? Because he or she knows that by and large, people do not like to wait there. Truth is, we don't much like to wait anywhere for any length of time.

And we often cringe at the mere idea of waiting on God - more than any other kind of waiting. He is so frequently not in a hurry. We don't want to learn patience by waiting, though it is often the best way to learn it.

But consider for a moment the flipside. Consider for a moment those times when the waiting room door has been thrown open but we're still sitting in the chair by the fish, afraid to get up, get out and get moving. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we sense God nudging us to step out, but instead we're oddly content to just wait it out - perhaps hoping someone else will make the move we're supposed to make.

Just as there are times when God wants us to wait on Him; there are times when He calls us to action. And just as we need to listen for His voice in times of waiting, we need to obey His prompting when the wait is over.

The waiting room has its purpose. It is the place where you get mentally ready for what comes next. You are not meant to live there. You were designed for the world outside. And it waits for you! 

This season in my life has a purpose. There is a purpose for everything. There are blessings in storms.

Temperatures this week will reach 50 degrees!  Spring is breaking through winter. I am breaking through from sitting still.  

God is quiet. I wonder why?  I know he is there.

The waiting room was comfortable when life was uncomfortable.

I’m ready to come out of the waiting room.

Magical Words

Of all the things I long to hear,

The music of your voice full of life and cheer.

Of all the words that you could say,

Are not the words of common cliché.

Words easily said drift like the wind,

Peace in my heart has settled within.

You are the best that has happened to my life,

Are magical words that heal broken strife.

Brave and brilliant,

Loving and logical,

Tough and tender,

Masculine and magical,

You have turned my faith, hope, and love,

Pure and prayerful.

Grace

Two things come to mind when I hear the word grace.

On a funny note, Grace is the name I call my accident prone Mariah. I believe she has counted up to 9 casts already and unlimited accidents!

On an enlightening note, I remember standing in church only a few years ago singing “Amazing Grace” a song I have heard in church for 35+ years, but the powerful impact of the words “Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved” and that very moment of personal realization of what grace truly is.

There have been so many unstable changes in my life in the last two months and there continues to be. This is a really odd time.

Tomorrow I begin supporting a new CEO. The unstable factor of this is, while I thank God I still have my job, my former CEO takes a close 2^nd to my dad. There is a feeling of much safety & security working for a father figure. He is also a very dear family friend.

With all of my unsettling changes in life, I continue to have as many supernatural doors of opportunity open.

I’ve been sitting quiet for two months now. It is a secure place to be. But, I’m starting to feel like I am ready to step back into the world of feeling alive and having fun again.

Yesterday a fresh wave of unfamiliar tears hit me. The tears of I want to move on, I am ready to move on, but the tears of I am afraid to let go and I don’t want to let go overcome me.

God is silent. I feel like I can’t find Him, but I know He is there.

I will continue to sit still.

“Love it patient (patience), love is kind (kindness). Love is not jealous, boastful or proud (trust & humility) …. Love keeps no record of when it has been wronged (forgiveness).” Familiar words to a nice poem in my book.

“Love never gives up (perseverance). Never loses faith (faith). And endures through every circumstance (faithfulness).”  The words mind as well be highlighted. I’m not quite sure why they jumped off the page, but they did.

I’m zipping through the chapters and I come to a chapter titled, Grace.  This must be God’s grace to me. I have never studied grace, but I’m really intrigued …

“The major function of grace is that it redeems people. When you offer grace, you are able to look beyond others’ faults to see their needs, even when their words or actions are negative.

Grace considers the other person through the eyes of love … Grace offers strength to cover the faults and weaknesses of the other person. You exchange your own strength for the others weakness in order to cover any offenses that might result from their failings.

Grace runs on its own. It does not depend on the goodness of others … Grace maintains a higher level of love.  It fuels the relationship with hope because it chooses to focus on the good qualities of the other person. Grace is fully operational even when – especially when – the other person is being impossible. Grace knows there’s a better person underneath and cheers him on.

Grace enables true love to work and allows you to look past things your partner does that offend you. It provides the lifeblood of your relationship. Grace goes against the human grain and keeps you loving long after others have given up. Grace says, “I love you anyway.”

This is the mystery of love – that you can reach past the failures, offenses, and disappointments of the one who let you down to touch the part of him that is good and true and perfect. In that moment you ignite love all over again and both partners have another chance to do the right thing. Grace says, “I understand.”

The chapter goes on. I’ve titled these descriptions and called them tolerance and a high threshold. I’ve never considered grace, from a human perspective.

Sometimes God is quiet. Sometimes we have to sit still … a while longer. 

I’m thankful for my will to seek answers. I’m thankful for the answers that I find.

Strength

strength  

— n

A noun in the dictionary, defined as:

·        the state or quality of being physically or mentally strong

·        the ability to withstand or exert great force, stress, or pressure

·        something that is regarded as being a beneficial a source of power.

Strength … an interesting word.

Its synonyms:    courage, energy, hardiness, health, might, nerve, power, security, soundness, stability, substance, toughness, vitality.

It’s Friday night, it’s been a bad day.  Not many days knock everything out of me, but today did.

Brooke has her friend Paige spending the night and I have been told by Brooke that I can use the lower-level suite as my space tonight.  Works for me!

A glass of wine, a chocolate crunch bar out of Brooke’s Valentine’s party bag, and a book.  My first piece of food after 6:00 p.m. in over a month.  Comfort.

Honestly, I can’t wait to crawl into my warm flannel sheets and get today over.  Me time.

I’m reading my book, sipping wine, and loving the chocolate!  I come to a new chapter, Strength.  I’m intrigued. 

I like the word, but how is the author going to define and enhance it into a chapter?

I want to share …

The longevity of love’s function will be highly dependent on strength – not feelings, not thoughts, not the opinions of others.  What will make love work and last is your commitment, and that will require strength.

There is nothing warm and fuzzy about strength. It is hard, and it must remain conditioned and ready to operate when all else fails.

Strength is something you decide to use. It must be exercised. Discipline builds strength. So does letting your partner stretch you beyond your comfort zone emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically; persisting through trials and differences allowing yourself to be humbled and broken by what you choose to go through with your partner. All of these experiences make you stronger.

To give up at the first sign of difficulty or irritation does nothing to build the sorely needed elements of strength. Strength inevitably nurtures the endurance that is necessary to sustain love long-term.

God created love to last, to endure the rough patches, to grow and flourish from the heat of trial and tears of disappointment. Love was designed to withstand all external elements and internal meltdowns, emerging victorious in spite of negativity. Love can triumph if strength is in place.

When strength is blindsided by loud and overwhelming situations – in a quiet place, strength is able to restore.

If your strength has failed, get quiet. Be confident that God has you covered, and recover from whatever is sapping your energy and keeping you from doing the work it takes to progress.

You can’t problem-solve effectively or look at the situation objectively if you’re running around with your hair on fire. 

Allow His still, small voice to give you direction on what to do next.  Knowing He is with you gives you confidence and courage, strengthening you.

When operating a full power, strength does not yield to pressure or break under rejection, false accusations, or any other external afflictions. The strength part makes you strong enough to die to your own demands in order to pursue peace. Strength is disciplined to the point of meekness, which is merely power under control. It truly requires more strength to refrain from demanding your own way when you know you could have it.

I am in a quiet place. Recovering.

JV Basketball Team

Mariah called excited tonight.  She and one other on the freshman team have been asked to finish the season on the JV basketball team!

For Mariah - WOW!  How exciting! Good for her! 

For me - Are you kidding?  Is this season EVER going to end?  *exhausted sigh*

This season has lasted five months, 2 hours a day, 6 days a week.  That is a lot of basketball! This does not include the practice before practice began with mandatory "open gym" at the beginning and end of summer. 

Mandatory open gym?  There's an oxymoron! 

Basketball Tournament

Jackson girls freshman team made 1^st seed in the tournaments this season.  Tonight was the tournament game Jackson vs. Lake, a worthy opponent.

My Mariah, #25, blocks …

She is such an aggressive player! At 5’4”, they put her against the best on the other teams, which many times is a head taller, and sometimes has her by 40 lbs. 

A classic moment caught … Mariah high in the air!

The game is down to only 13 seconds on the clock, the score is tied. I look at my daughter, she is praying (she is the one in the middle) …

                                    

A precious moment captured.

The game goes into overtime, Jackson loses, but the game was unbelievable.

Parents of both teams fill the hall waiting … with loving arms and hesitation for the heartbreak.  The Jackson team comes out of the locker room last. 

Tears in their eyes, sticking close to one another, heading to the bus … we watch them walk by. 

I was talking to Mariah’s dad, step-mom, and step-sister once her team passed. In all the commotion of chattering teens, parents discussing the plays, I hear my little girls voice,  “Mom!”   Thank you God for a mother’s instinct to hear her child above the voices of 50 others at least 25 feet away.  I turned immediately to see Mariah down the hall … across a sea of people … on her toes, waving me over.  She needs me. 

I get to her quickly, my eyes on her, watching her heartbreak and the tears start to roll down her cheeks.  She ran into my arms, buried her face in my coat, and sobbed. 

Moment’s like this are cherished. Her heart is breaking for their loss. Her heart is breaking for the season that came to an end.

I whisper the soft familiar words, I’ve said for 15 years, “Shhhhh … it’s okay, sweetheart.”  I kiss her head & cheeks and hug her tightly.  Everyone around us disappears.

I’m so incredibly thankful for the relationship that we have.

Jackson’s freshman girl’s team had an amazing season!  Mariah has played basketball with most of these girls for 7 years now.  They are all best friends.

Their coach, Mr. Butch, was their 8^th grade Math teacher and coach last year.  He loves these girls.  Poor Mr. Butch is 27 years old and single.  What a learning experience he received this year coaching 15 – 16 year olds! 

Five months the team played together 2 hours a day, 6 days a week!  He learned to deal with a team full of teen girls whose menstrual cycle adjusted to the same time of the month producing extreme hormones and emotions.  He had to deal the teams opinions of not approving of his girlfriend. He lost his temper a lot.  They dealt it right back, and hurt his feelings a lot, too.

Tonight he cried with his team. He told them that he has 14 little sisters that he loves and that he will always be there should they need him.  They love him and think of him as a big brother.  What a responsibility for a young guy. He embraced his role at his young age with great maturity and was truly a great coach.

Congratulations Jackson Polar Bears for an amazing season!